Getting My Two Year Old to Stay in Bed at Night.

The suspect, after his latest asthma flare-up. Poor little bean!

Myer has been coming into our room at all hours of the night demanding to sleep in our bed- like a wretchy troll who has us wrapped around his finger and whatnot- so I decided it was time to put the foot down. I'm all for early AM snuggles every now and again, but if I wanted to share my bed with a thrashing loud-breather all night long every single night, I would have just bought a dog, you know?

Sooo. One night last week I'd had enough. I put the foot down. That night, I had to keep putting him back in his bed one million times between the hours of 2:00 and 5:00AM. Oh! And during that whole process Myer decided to spice things up by screaming "Mamma! Mamma! Mamma! Mamma! Mamma!" over and over and over and over again for three straight hours until I thought that maybe I was just trapped in a really bad nightmare instead of being awake and perched outside his door in the bleary, cotton-mouthed hours of the morning.

He fell asleep at 5:00AM and then woke up, ready for the day at 6! What a sweetie pie.

Anywho, there were really only two nights of that, but now he is sleeping much better in his own bed since I made it pretty clear that if he wanders into our room in the middle of the night saying "Mamma? Mamma?" he will not find his sweet mom there in that bed, but a glowering banshee instead! With crazy hair and angry eyes!

But this little toot, he is a clever one, so what he has been doing the last couple of nights is army crawling... no, really, ARMY CRAWLING on his elbows (so that I don't see his head over the line of the bed) into our bedroom and curling up beside Chris' side of the bed- right on top of the pile of dirty painting contractor clothes that he throws there before falling into bed, exhausted, each night. (We're working on this latest development now... I'm thinking I'll just replace the pile of clothes with a pile of... oh, I don't know... gardening tools? Try to sleep on THAT, Myer! mwa ha ha!)

I probably wouldn't even notice this latest sneaky ninja-style covert 'Infiltrate Mommy's Room' Op except for the previously mentioned loud-breathing and thrashing that accompanies his sleep at all times. And also, his 'jingle blocks'- which are his comfort objects that have little jingle bells in them- causing me to be able to hear exactly where he is and what he is doing at all times in the wee hours of the morning. (A blessing and a curse.)

Here's a before and after of the jingle block situation, by the way:

Before: So crisp and clean and complete!

Now: So... lumpy!

This is what happens to cute stuffed blocks after they have been carried and dropped and slimed on and fondled all night long for two whole years. Only one of the jingle bells still work. (We had three blocks still until a couple of weeks ago, when the 'E' went mysteriously missing into the depths of the one of the church's nursery rooms.)

(I was slightly relieved when that happened, though, because now we only have TWO blocks, which coincide nicely with the fact that he has TWO hands and now it's not so much like a juggling act every time he wants to transport the things anywhere.)

(Also, I contemplated replacing the missing jingle bell in the other block, but then I realized that it would only make things LOUDER in the middle of the night, duh, and so I decided against it.)

(THAT was a close one.)

I guess that all of this parenthetical rambling is just my way of saying that I am SO glad things are improving in the night time arena, since we have a squirmy newborn on the way who will sleep for no longer than 2 hour stretches at a time every night and will... shall I say... only complicate this mess a wee bit further?

I am always amazed, when it comes to stuff like this, how kids actually DO respond to consistency and firmness, and I always wonder why I didn't just do it sooner. It's hard to put the foot down sometimes, but when you know it is for the health and benefit of your kids and your MARRIAGE and your sleep and your sanity, it's the only way to go! I think sometimes I just forget that, hey! I WEAR THE PANTS AROUND HERE and YOU LITTLE PEOPLE AREN'T THE BOSSES OF ME! (So neener-neener!)

It's good to remember that every now and again. I am here to shape them and train them in healthy ways, not make their lives peachy-keen and rainbow fluffy 24-7. We'll all be much happier in the long run if I can just hold my ground on some things- even if it's so much easier to give in in the moment.

(End note: Is parenthetical even a word? It sounds like some magic spell or made-up animal from Harry Potter. Or something.)

Seven Hundred and Thirty Days.

Once upon a time, there was a mamma. A mamma whose heart was a little bit broken and whose life felt a little too snug.

She stretched and fought against the role of motherhood that sometimes felt like it was ruthlessly stomping out the rest of her.

her, then.

After a long struggle, God rescued her from feeling like she was never enough... from feeling like raising her child wasn't a high enough calling in and of itself. He came and showed her that this season was handcrafted for her growth and well-being, and the growth and well-being of her family, and that it was MORE than enough.

That it was, in fact, the most IMPORTANT thing in the world.

That revelation was infinity times stronger than any anti-depressant that could be prescribed for her.

And this mamma, after being rescued from that unrelenting despair, felt her heart expand so much that it suddenly felt... quite roomy. Life no longer felt too snug or tight, it now felt broad and wide and sweeping! She found deep in her gut a strange new longing- a longing for new life.

Seven hundred and thirty days ago, that life arrived, and we named him Myer Elliot- "A Bringer of Light to the Lord our God".

him, then.

And for seven hundred and thirty days, that is exactly what Myer Elliot has been for me. He has lit up the face of God for me- so that I can see Him more clearly than I ever have before. He is a daily reminder and remembrance of what God has done in my heart... running up and down the halls squealing with delight, a banner proclaiming my rescue and freedom from despair.

What joy & laughter he has brought to our house! To his brother, to his father, to our parents and families! He is a huge blessing in our lives, and I know he is destined for amazing things.

him, now!

So... to my sweet, lighthearted boy of TWO:

Happy happy happy Birthday!
You make life bright!

This Post Went Downhill Quickly... Right Into a Brick Wall.

It's baffling to think that when we moved to Oklahoma, Ezra was only 6 months old. He couldn't crawl. He couldn't roll over. He was a blob. Now, in just four weeks, he will be six YEARS old. And Myer turns two in 9 days. And this third baby will be here in only ten-ish weeks.




Random Questions:

Where is the time going?

Where are all these babies coming from? (Wait, don't answer that one.)

Can you tell that I trimmed my hair? It was becoming quite poofy.

How is it possible that I have a six year old child? That makes me feel old.

You know what else makes me feel old? My new iPhone case. See it there in the picture? My aforementioned six year old son has NO IDEA what it is. And THAT makes me feel... timeworn. Ancient. Decrepit.

I remember when cassette tapes were as good as it got. Technology at its finest! Look how those things spin and the music plays like magic!

Now, cassette tapes are being replicated into silicone in order to protect crazy mini computer/camera/phone/GPS/Internet/Music/Gaming gadget thingy-ma-bobs.

And also? I swam upstream both ways to school everyday when I was your age.

In the snow.

Blank.

Unrelated tidbit: Third Trimester, you all! Woot woot!!

I've been feeling quite shy towards the 'Blogger' tab up there on my little menu bar for quite some time now... feeling as blank as this 'New Post' box, in fact, so of course I have not felt any urge to fill it with dribble or force out content on you all in the name of "just because". (sidenote: Yuck. Forced and obligated "content" is like nails on a chalkboard to me. *shiver gag*) I can't tell if this quietness is a result of some sort of preparation for what's ahead, or if it is something quite different: a stagnancy that is inevitable when the fresh water source is cut off.

(I'm leaning towards the latter theory, truth be told.)

God help me, I have been feeling so SO very blah towards Him lately. A loooong lately. An 'Ever Since I Found Out I Was Pregnant Again' lately.

What's that all about?? I don't know. These fogs sometimes come but always they go... yet this one I just can't seem to shake. Or perhaps I should say I just can't even muster up the desire to TRY and shake this one. I am not sad. I am not depressed. I am really happy and rightfully so- my family is amazing and life is great! It's just God that is suddenly... gone-feeling. And to say that is unsettling would be a huge understatement.

It's like I've been having to REMIND myself that there's even a void there, whereas in the past, when I was distancing myself from God, I felt it every inch of the way.

I stopped reading my Bible, even though I had a massive support system behind me in the journey. My prayers have been more like random sputters from an engine that knows it's done 'fer. And my thoughts towards Him have been few. Far between. And, perhaps worst of all, small.

All I can think to say is, God help me. Sputter. Sputter. God help me. Sputter. Cough. God help me.

Sometimes three word prayers are the best ones though, no? I hope so. It really is about all I've got right now.

I don't have any sort of epiphany to stick on the end of this post like a big red bow, I just have the faith that God honors honesty and realness more than falsehood or secrecy. I'm sure some of you have been feeling this way lately too, or have felt this way in the not-so-distant past, and I believe that talking about it is at least a step in the right direction, because, hey! We're all in this together... to help and be helped.

I feel a bit lighter already just by getting these words out... like somewhere way down deep the water might be starting to stir and move again. God help me.

Best Christmas Gift Ever!!

Our Christmas was SO perfect. My parents were in town, and we always have such a blast when they are around! They are so awesome with the boys and we end up having great conversations late into the night. It was hard to say goodbye to them yesterday... we pretty much moped around all day and tried to keep our mind off of the fact that they were driving back to Utah.




The boys had so much fun opening their gifts, and they were such polite, well-behaved gentlemen about it all, it made me a VERY proud mama.



I got Chris two sweaters, and he got me.... A NEW CAR.

I kid you not.

My sneaky hubby and my sneaky family pulled off the surprise of the century. Chris had been negotiating with the dealership for a over a week without me knowing it- they had gotten a pre-owned 2009 Mazda5 on their lot and called to let Chris know about it. (We've been researching and scouring for these cars for a few months now.) A few days before Christmas, he went and signed all the paperwork. Then, on Christmas Eve, Chris and my Dad went out on some last minute "errands" and picked up the car- leaving it at his parent's house over night.

On Christmas morning, my in-laws drove the car over to my house and parked it in the driveway where I couldn't see it from any of the windows. They attached a big huge red bow to it and we proceeded to have a lovely Christmas morning of opening gifts.

At the very end, we told Ezra he had one more big gift waiting in daddy's music room. (A Radio Flyer Big Wheels.) On top of the big wheels, Chris had attached a note addressed to me from Santa. I opened it up and it said, "Zoom Zoom! Put on a coat and go look outside!"

I just about died in that moment.

We all piled out of the house and there in the driveway was a beautiful blue Mazda that could comfortably fit my whole growing family inside of it! I couldn't stop jumping up and down, I was soooooo excited.

Now this baby can really be born because we have a car that we can all fit into! With room to spare!

Plus, it is so fun & easy to drive... it's zippy and gets great gas mileage compared to a big ol' huge minivan, and it still has the bonus of the sliding doors! I love it so much, it's kind of silly.





Needless to say, it was the best Christmas ever!!!!! :)

Pretend this was in Your Mailbox.

All I Want For Christmas is an Inflatable Donut to Perch Upon.

Oh, hey there blog! I... didn't see you there! How's... your mom?

I'm sorry I have disappeared the last week or maybe, ahem, two? I am in Christmas mode and have been getting everything ready for Saturday. SATURDAY!! I can't believe it's already almost Christmas! I am so excited!

Chris' sister Candace has been in town the last couple of days and it has been so amazing getting to see her and have great conversations with her about life and God and all the exciting things going on with her. She's entering into her final semester of nursing school... we are so proud! It's SO cool hearing her talk about all the crazy stuff she's learned. She's so passionate about it all and she just lights up when she talks about it. She's a smart cookie, and she's going to make an amazing nurse!!

One of the gifts she bought the boys was a gingerbread house, which, of course, was a HUGE hit. And it turned out so pretty!





*******************


Myer was sick a couple of weeks ago and then his fever came back again yesterday, so I took him in to the doctor to make sure there was nothing going on with his ears or throat or anything. He was all clear today, but his fever is making him feel a bit lousy and he hasn't been eating well for a while now. Why is this kid always such a mystery??? Maybe he's teething. Or it's a virus. Or his allergies? Or something else entirely? I wish I knew so I could help the dude. He's such a precious punkin.

*******************





As far as pregnancy goes, I am feeling really great! I will be 27 weeks on Wednesday, which means I am only ONE week away from my third trimester! Crazy beans. This baby will be here in no time. The latest developments are LOTS of hiccups (for baby) and a very sore tailbone (for mamma). I've injured my tailbone a few times in my life, and it seems to be more painful with each pregnancy. I'm pretty sure Myer re-injured it again when he was born, and it bothers me especially when the weather changes drastically.

I'm... a gimpy geezer. And I'm seriously contemplating asking for one of those little inflatable donuts to sit on for Christmas. hahaha.

My Child's Allergies - Six Months Later.

So, I had some errands to run today and I decided to start early so that Myer wouldn't fall asleep mid-grocery-store again, but by the time I pulled into the parking lot at the store, he was already OUT. It was 9:30AM.

I think he's coming down with something, which is sad, but then you add on top of that the worry of triggering his asthma and wheezing breathing treatments, and his refusing to eat for days on end, and suddenly little colds don't feel quite so little anymore. They feel like you're walking on a tightrope over a pool of hungry sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads.

(Forgive me. I saw Austin Powers no less than 10 times in the theater way back in 1997, and ran to purchase the DVD on the day it was released. I was AM slightly obsessed.)

I've been meaning to touch base again with where we are at with Myer's allergies, and some of you have emailed me personally with similar situations in your own households- wondering what steps we've taken and what has worked for us or not. So, I thought I'd share all that with you guys now, even though I am not entirely confident in our approaches thus far...

Let me start by saying that I am no expert or doctor, these are just my personal findings mixed up with my gut instincts and I'm not making any kind of blanket statements here.

I have ALWAYS been a 'go with your gut feeling' kind of person, which has generally worked out great for me, except for when it doesn't, and then it's quite unfortunate because you don't have facts or research or doctors to pin any blame on, it pretty much all falls right back on YOU. And your lousy, blabber-mouthed gut. haha.

SO, after we took Myer to the allergist six months ago (holy moo it feels like it was years ago) I became completely and utterly overwhelmed. Suddenly I was told to change every single thing about my life and the life of my son. No more wheat, eggs, strawberries, peanuts, dust, carpets, drapes, animals, grass, pollen, or trees. Suddenly there were six perscriptions to be filled every month that cost us more than we were comfortably able to spend. Or to give. We were told he was asthmatic and needed epi-pens and rescue inhalers and blood tests.

Com.plete.ly. Ov.er.whelming.

I had always hoped that, if put in this kind of circumstance, I would magically transform into a supermom who stopped at nothing to find every answer and solve every discomfort that my son was feeling. I don't know, I guess I was expecting some sort of mega-strength to fall from the sky into my lap so that I could be the mom who CONQUERED and BEAT the problem for her son.

No such strength fell from the sky. These past six months have been hard for me, mainly because I have had to face the fact that I feel like I've failed quite a bit, and the guilt that I carry from that can be crushing at times.

We pulled Myer off of all the suspected food for about three months. We gave him the medicines. We tried to keep him indoors, tried to keep him from getting too overheated or sweaty which made his eczema flare up like no tomorrow.

Things were... a tiny bit better? Maybe?

But the effort of finding food that he would actually eat that didn't contain a suspected allergen was taking a toll on me. And the 'progress' that I was seeing was not outweighing the stress and tears and anxiety on my part. His skin was still itchy and raw in places, he still had an almost constant runny nose.

Add to this the fact that I started doing some research of my own and found out that those allergy tests that they give have 60% false positive rate, and I was pretty much convinced that I couldn't keep up this way of life knowing it was based on nothing much more solid than conjecture. On guessing. I was told that some of the foods that showed up positive on his tests could have been because he had eaten some of that food recently and it was 'still in his system'. I was quickly losing confidence in the information I'd been given.

Soooo, we slowly started re-introducing foods. We kept our eye on Myer for any reactions. There were no major changes.

Now, he is back to eating anything except peanuts. He is on an anti-histamine twice a day, and we give him Singul@ir and breathing treatments when he starts showing signs that he is coming down with something. (his asthmatic symptoms seem to be only triggered by him getting sick & congested.)

Other than that, we just try to manage his skin as best as we can. It still gets bad sometimes. Baths once or twice a day, patting him dry, and covering him with vaseline or aquafor seem to be the only things that help. We also have a steroid foam that we put on his spots when they get really bad, and we use a mild detergent on all his clothes.

To sum it up, we are pretty much living life as normal and just trying to manage the eczema. He is still pretty much always itchy somewhere on his body, but it isn't as intense as it once was-- when he used to thrash all night and not be able to sleep due to the all-over itching. There is something in me that feels like this is somehow not enough, that I have failed on some level, yet it seems to be working mostly OK for us for now. He sleeps well at night, he itches a bit during the days, and he is a happy, contented little guy for the most part.

This is what my gut has been telling me to do. To manage the skin as best I can, and go on living our lives.

I really do feel that pulling my son away from every single thing that might maybe cause a reaction in his skin will ultimately do him more harm than good. Of course, my biggest hope and prayer is that he will grow out of all of this and his skin will stop being so itchy and irritated all the time. And I feel that by allowing his body to be exposed to whatever it is that is causing his skin to be this way, he will have more of a fighting chance of doing that by building up immunities.

My next plan of action is to get him in to see a naturopath here in the city who has been able to help some of my friend's kids who have allergies. I figure it won't hurt to talk to someone else about all of this, and I feel like a less "medical" approach may be a better fit for my family.

Are there any of you out there who have had similar experiences with allergies and tests and doctors? Is there anything that helped you that I may not be thinking of or seeing? Talking about all of this really helps me, and I am definitely here for any of you who want to talk through it more as well... just shoot me an email any time or leave me a comment. You guys have been such a help and resource for me in all of this, and I really, really can't thank you enough!!

Same Pose, Different Clothes.

It's getting coooooold outside. woo hoo!!

I wore these outfits this last week:




I look like a cardboard cut-out. It's almost creepy how identical these poses are. haha.

I'm 24 weeks along now.

I have to keep getting my blood drawn every month during this pregnancy because my thyroid levels were so low at the beginning. I hate getting my blood drawn. But I like having the proper level of thyroid in my body for my growing babe, so I suppose it's worth it.

I'm glad I found out early on.

Two days in a row now I have needed to run errands and Myer has pulled this on me:



The audacity! Doesn't he know I have things I need to get done?!

Punk Biscuit.

It is taking all of my concentrated effort not to eat all the chocolate from his Advent calendar right now as payback. He'd never know the difference! He's not even two yet! He doesn't understand the concept of time! Me want chocolate!

I won't do it.

I promise.

I think.

Tell Kodak to Call Off the Search.

I was wandering around the mall yesterday, day THREE of my hunt for a long black jersey maxi skirt to wear through the winter (with warm tights and boots underneath) so that I don't have to go through the pregnancy pants fiasco again this year, when I stumbled into the yummy smelling Body Shop and discovered that they are having this amazing sale on their scented oils. Three for $12! They are usually $7.50 each. Thought I'd pass on the info for any of you who want to make your house smell Christmas-y this year without paying full price. Oh, how I love the cranberry one!

Also, this happened last night:

Ezra is pointing out all his favorite ornaments to his little brother. These boys are really beginning to bond lately, and it is pretty much the greatest thing I've ever gotten to experience as a mom. I gave birth to FRIENDS! So cool.

Here we have Ezra teaching Myer who all the key players in the nativity scene are. You know, baby Jesus, Jesus' mom and dad, the street, and the ever-important palm trees.


I thought about calling Kodak and letting them know they could just give up the search for that picture-perfect 'moment'. I found them right here in my living room.

:)