May 30, 2006

How I fell in love at the WalMart Pharmacy Counter today.

Today, I went to WalMart to buy Ezra some sandals that will stay on his feet better than the ones he has now, and I was letting Ezra play with my keys while he sat in the shopping cart so he wouldn't become Mr. Bored Screamy-Pants. Keys are so last week, however, so my brilliant strategy went down in flames.

(can you see where this story is headed?)

I was shopping around and digging through this box to find his shoe size and I found ONE pair way down on the bottom, so I grabbed them and started heading for the register.
Ezra: Waaaaahhh! Waaahh! waaah!!
Me: "Why does it seem like no matter WHAT shoe size I am looking for, they are always out of that ONE size?!"
I paid for them and pushed my cart over to the side by all the other carts by the door, and I grabbed my bag and I grabbed my son and I headed out to my car.

(Am I forgetting something?)

I get to my car and I am shoveling things out of my purse because I can' OH CRAP!!!! crap. crap. crap. crap.

Where are my keys?!?!

I do a 180 and head back to the store, only now I am power walking and muttering things under my breath like "holey moley, holey moley, holey moley..." and I am offering up prayers of desperation like, "Please please please let my cart be there still...lord please lord please..."

I get up to the doors and woosh they open up before me only to reveal that my shopping cart is GONE. No where to be seen.
Me: whimper. whimper. panic.
Ezra: putting his finger in my ear.

So, I do what any respectable mother would do. I begin franticly running up and down isles, scanning people's carts like a madwoman, while swatting Ezra's attempts to TOUCH MY BRAIN through my ear hole. I could think of nothing better to do. So, I wandered. and wandered. and wandered. Every cart began to look the same. Every face began to blend. I power-walked pell mell through isles and isles of silk flowers and power tools and dairy.

Then, I saw her... She was beautiful. Instantly, I fell in love. A little old lady in a precious pink outfit, slowly pushing her cart towards the buzz of the gigantic red pharmacy sign. Nothing in her cart but her walker. And there, down by her knee, my keys helplessly dangled and swayed from the bottom of the cart... reflecting the radiant brilliance of the florecent lights above.

Angelic Chorus:"HALLELUJAH!"

Suddenly I became nervous to approach her. Should I just follow her around until she's done with the cart and then make my move? (No, no, Emery...Don't be silly...that could be hours from now...)
But, she'll think I'm such a dweeb! She'll know I'm! *gasp!*

Ezra: poke poke.
Me: swat. swat. Aww, forget this...

"Excuse me, ma'm?..."

May 28, 2006

She's gone LINK crazy!!!

We're just beginning the process of buying our first home. And by "just beginning", I mean we sent in some online application to see if we can even afford to do it. We're tired of giving all that money to 'sweaty landlord' every month. We'd much rather be giving it all to 'stingy loan shark man in business suit'. You know?

Our friends Josh & Susanna are selling their house because Josh just got a job in Michigan, and we love their house but the paperwork process feels like it will take far too long for us to be able to buy it in time. Plus, it doesn't have a basement- and after last month's scare I think a basement is almost more important than having a functioning toilet in the house. At this point though, in lieu of a tornado shelter, I might settle for just digging a big hole in the backyard and throwing some flashlights and canned goods down in it. Maybe for a finishing touch I could post a sign that says "No tornades allowed"- just to be on the safe side.

I like this house, but we might only be able to afford something more along the lines of this at the moment.... hehe. I'll let you know how it goes...

I'll leave you with an older picture of Ezra (courtesy of Uncle Cam-sauce) that pretty much sums up his goof-ball personality. Oh, Ezra, you're such a wacky whack-a-mole...

May 24, 2006

Sweet, Sweet Success...

UPDATE: "Future me" was pretty pissed at "oh-so-selfish Past Me" around 5:00pm last night.
Can't we all just get along??

I know you all are probably sick to death of hearing about Ezra's painfully exciting NAP SCHEDULING ADVENTURES , but this is where most of my energy and thought is being poured into at the moment. (If you think that's dull, you should have been around for the infamous yet all-consuming breast pump extravaganza back in the winter of '05. You all should be eternally grateful for the fact that I didn't have a blog back then...)

Anywho...All of that to say, "WE DID IT!!"
I was able to keep Ezra awake until 12:47 today when I put him down with his bottle full of water (not milk, mind you... we're slowly getting there...) and he's been peacefully napping ever since. If all goes well, I won't be seeing the little man until 3:30 or so.

Here's how I managed this incredible feat of mom-liness:

7:30 Ezra's awake... Chris gets up with him and puts him in bed with me and we turn on PBS only to find "Barney". (There's nothing like waking up to a singing, dancing purple dinosaur in the morning... Gag me with a spoon.)

9:30 Ezra seems a little sleepy, so we pack-up and head to Barnes and Noble where he plays for an hour and I actually managed to read TWO pages of my book. ('The Idiot' by Dostoevsky)

11:00 We are heading home and Ezra is DANGEROUSLY close to falling asleep in the car, so I desperately start rolling the windows up and down up and down while singing crazy songs and snapping my fingers to keep him awake. (If you saw me driving on Classen this morning around this time, I'm sorry... If you would have looked closer you would have seen a drowsy and confused child giving me the "have-you-gone-completely-nuts?!" look from my back-seat.)

11:30 We watch 101 Dalmations while the unexpected plumbers are trodding up and down the basement stairs, whispering of mold residue and turning off our water while waiting for the 'pipe glue' to dry.

12:30 We head outside to play with "Gah-dn Hoos" (AKA Garden Hose) and his little lawn-mower that is supposed to blow bubbles when you push it. (To this day I have only seen TWO such bubbles escape).

12:47 I put him in his crib and dance a little jig as he nods off to sleep. To celebrate, I pour myself a Pepsi over ice and catch-up on some of my favorite Mommy Bloggers (I just added their links to the right) and think about how to tell you all the news that I am officially good at mommying. (disclaimer: this is subject to change at any given moment.)

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

May 23, 2006

Where's Waldo Ezra?

Ezra was playing nicely in his room earlier, and when I went in there to check on him, he was nowhere to be found. I started to freak-out and I was running from room to room trying to find him. It was like he had completely disappeared or something. Then I heard a noise from his bedroom closet. He had opened his closet door and climbed into his old saucer toy back in the corner, and was contentedly playing in it with a silly grin on his face. Figures. After my heart palpitations faded away, I grabbed my camera.

I'm trying to cut Ezra back from two naps a day to just one nap a day, and it isn't as easy as it sounds... Normally, he would take a nap around 10:00 AM and then (on a great day) take another one around 3:00PM. But lately, if he takes his morning nap, then he won't take his afternoon nap and then it's CRANKY CENTRAL around here until it's finally his bedtime. So, the new plan is to have him take one long nap around 1:00PM instead. Yesterday we did pretty good- he went down at 12:45 and slept for 3 hours. Today, though, he was looking REALLY sleepy around 10:00, and I started thinking, "This is going to be the longest 3 hours of my life..."

But it wasn't...(dramatic pause)... because I totally caved and put him down at 11:30AM instead of 1:00PM. I know, I know. I have to stick to my guns and all that bologna... But it was seriously the longest hour and a half of my life...

He started rolling around on the floor and (purposely?) banging his head on things. He was whiny and couldn't be entertained by anything... Not even my silly dances! Can you believe that?!? So I says to myself, I says, "Forget 1:00 nap time... this kid is going to sleep now."

So, he's asleep for now and everything is fine, but this evening when he is grumpy-grumperton because mommy put him down too early for his nap I will be reaping what I sowed. Better to let the "future me" suffer than the "now me", right?
(i think.)

May 22, 2006

I clean, He un-cleans.

You can really tell how much your kid has changed when you take him on a three week vacation and then bring him back home.

All of a sudden, nothing in this house is baby-proof anymore! It's almost like Ezra has become a real toddler in these past three weeks and now nothing is sacred... He's running through the house knocking things over and banging things together and pulling things apart like there's no tomorrow, all while I am tenderly trying to put my house back in order after our long absence. (Not a good combo at the moment, him and I...)

I'm sure a lot of it has to do with the fact that he was cooped up in the car for 23 hours over the past three days, and now he's learned to "LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST!" and "PLAY HARD WHILE YOU STILL HAVE THE CHANCE!"... There is a quiet desperation to his rampages, I will admit. He was such a trooper the whole trip, though. I was amazed at how painless the drive really was.

I am officially nominating whomever invented the portable DVD player for the Nobel Peace Prize. To vote, just text #DVD to this number: 555-VOTE. (small print says a fee of $10 will be charged to your phone bill each time you text.)

For now, my house is calm and quiet because Ezra has been napping for 3 hours. It's like a dream come true to have him sleep this long, and I've prayed for naps such as these since the day he was born, but now that it's actually happening I am completely bored. I think I will go shake his crib a little and see if he wakes up. (just joking...I'm not THAT bored...)

Things To Do:
1. Buy some food for this house. (There's nothing to eat now but Pepsi, Gatorade, and Instant Rice)
2. Elevate breakable items higher grounds. (This kid is tall.)
3. Tackle the gi-normous laundry pile that's lurking down in the basement. (I'd pretend it wasn't there, but all my favorite clothes are burried in it.)

May 18, 2006


Alright, here's the latest batch of pictures from our trip... We are leaving tomorrow afternoon to make our way back to OKC, and I am so ready to get back and see everyone and pick up where we left off. By the time we get home, we will have traveled through 10 different states. We're tired and travel-weary, but this time away has been really good and it has made me realize how much I really do enjoy living in Oklahoma City. I feel like I'm ready to really commit to where we're at for the time being and start to allow myself to take root out there. God is good and He really did lead us out there for a reason... I feel like we're just seeing the tip of the iceburg right now, and that God has really good things in store for us and our community just below the surface...

Ezra and I at Grandma and Grandpa Clark's house.

My brother Jared's boat...Chris actually got in the water up at Tahoe and went wakeboarding.... FRIGID!!

Uncle Joel the bearded wonder. We miss his face.

Sweet Jacquie relaxing at Avila Beach on a cement dolphin... Why the heck not?

My brother Jaxon during a grueling wiffle-ball game at our Mommy's Day BBQ. Don't let his "tough guy" stance fool you... he's weak-sauce.

Chris' sister Candace and her hubby David.
Wierd Fact: David and I dated in Middle School, and now he's my brother-in-law. (Quick!! Someone call Montel Williams...)

Chris' Grandpa Bill and us. Oh, and don't worry- Ezra's head isn't really see-through - It's just a slow shutter speed.

May 16, 2006

Ezra as "The Artist"

Ezra just drew his first picture ever and I am so proud I could spit. (I don't know what that means.) I think I'll call it "King Scribble Battles the Infamous Evil Scribbledy-Scribble"

Until he can start naming these masterpieces himself, this is as good as it gets...

vb b c <-----he just typed that too. I think I'll call that "Detective Vb chases the Evil brothers b and c"

Robbing Anthroplogie

This is what Ezra does when you say, "Where's Uncle Jaxon?" He immediatley runs up to Jaxon's self portrait on the wall and stares at it for a respectful 5 seconds or so.

Chris' parents are watching Ezra overnight for us and I feel like a different woman. I'm like a woman who suddenly has a little more elbow-room, but who is constantly saying to her husband: "I miss Ezra... You should call your parents. Do you think he's OK? You should really call your parents." every 30 minutes or so. I am out of control.

My hubby and I had a good time tonight. We laughed about silly things and talked about politics and the economy and other very hoity-toity things. It seems that as soon as I have a break from focusing so much on Ezra, I become a functional, well-informed adult! Imagine that!

As we were driving back from our "night on the town" (which consisted mostly of the inevitable trip to a local casino accompanied by penny-slots and a watered down drink), I found myself telling Chris that if God one day told me that it was okay for me to break into ONE and only ONE store (of my choosing) and take whatever I wanted without any negative consequenses, I would most definetly choose Anthropologie. I told him I would take every last thing from that store- just like the Grinch did when he stole Christmas- leaving nothing behind but some bare wire hooks on the wall and a crumb that was even too small for a mouse...

May 15, 2006

Oh, Wow.

Ezra's new favorite phrase is "Oh, wow...", and he says it all the time but it's really drawn out and loaded with sarcasm. (where does he get this from??) It's funny when your kids start repeating some of your most common phrases, because you stop and think, "Do I really sound like that??" And so I start saying things differently. And secretly I'm wishing I had perfect grammar and a British accent so that Ezra would sound like those adorable little kids on Mary Poppins. Maybe I'll just go get that movie and play it over and over again until the inflection in their voices becomes ingrained in his memory and he can't help but sound British. I'll let you know how it goes....

May 9, 2006

Pictures of our Journey so far....

California is home to some of my most favoritest people in the world. We are now safely in Reno with our families, and we'll be here for a couple of weeks trying to relax. (I'm quickly discovering, however, that vacations with a 15-month-old are anything but relaxing by nature...) I'll write more when I've gotten a chance to process some of the things from our travels, but for now, here's some pictures from along the way....

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Welcome Home!

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Kristy and Julie (and Ezra desperately trying NOT to look at the camera)

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Even laundry baskets are fun when Uncle Cameron is around!

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Dad and son at the beach...

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Sweet Bray and grumpy Ezra

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Don't ask...

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No words can describe how much we love these two.

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Yay Brook and Simon! Best hosts ever. (wait...are WE beef?)

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Chris and Jeremy- pirate faces of some sort?

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Candy shops are wonderful.

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Get this... Chris can talk on the phone, point at the camera, AND drive-- all at the same time!

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Ezzie and grandpa

May 7, 2006

Central Coast is the Most!

We are safe and sound here in California and the drive was very smooth (although long) because of the new glorious mini DVD player we bought for the trip. Ezra sat quietly and vegged out to Veggie Tales and Elmo's World, and to tell you the truth, I think he traveled better than I did...

We stopped in Albequerque, New Mexico at 3:00 AM and drove to 9 different hotels before we found one with a room available.
What I learned about New Mexico: Graveyard-shift hotel employees are not inclined to kindness.

Then, the next night, we stopped in Flagstaff, Arizona and got to stay with my parents who were randomly vacationing in a two-bedroom townhouse 1 mile off of Interstate 40-- directly in the path of our travels. We had some strong drinks and ate some ice cream and slept for 10 hours before we hit the road again. (a 'mini-mid-vacation' vacation of sorts.)

The next day we tackled the last grueling long stretch of road between us and California and we arrived on Sunday evening to see a beautiful sunset and some smiling faces that we love.

It feels so good to be here, but I would be lying if I said it was all fun-and-games so far... It's been a shockingly emotional trip for me, and I'm still not really sure why. I think it's because my heart really came alive when I lived here, but it was also deeply wounded here. So I feel like I go between the pain and the joy as I drive these familiar streets. When I hang out with the people here who still love me well, (the ones who will always love me even if I'm not all shiny and perfect on the outside), I feel alive and at home. But when I'm by myself, or I bump into people that have changed so much that even their eyes aren't familiar, I start to reflect and I feel so sad and lonely. Did they ever really love me? I still really love them.

And I see all these young college girls walking around without a care in the world, and I remember that I used to be one of them when I lived here... So part of me remembers how easy and carefree life used to be and I realize that it will never be like that for me ever again. And there's a joy in that, but also a sadness. So everything is really up-and-down.

But the time I've spent with old friends here has been so healing and refreshing, that I wouldn't trade a second of this time for all the deviled eggs in the world. I love this place and I think it loves me too.