Ezra.

The boy is growing in leaps and bounds.

Taller, leaner, more apt to karate chop invisible foe and throw rocks down hills while making missile noises.

His desire to see his room is becoming less pressing with each wrapped present we put under the tree. He is SO excited about Christmas. And he's having lots of fun here in Reno.

Also, he talks now... have I mentioned?

After months of worry and fretting and waiting and hoping and bribing and begging and, finally, CHILLING THE HECK OUT; he speaks. In full, legible sentences. It started about 3 months ago or so... a new word here and there and there and soon he was saying pretty much anything we asked him to repeat. And now he talks.



Most nights, just before I drift off to sleep, I think of Ezra. I think of the day and the changes I'm sure to have seen in him. I think of his future. Will he ever grow into that large noggin of his? I think of the person he will fall in love with and I pray for her. (Lord, protect her heart. Stand guard over it.) I think of how I need to brush his teeth more and how he'll be old one day and how he'll probably have the ability to make a whole room full of people laugh and beam. Because he is already so funny and witty.

Every night I pray for him to grow in Godly wisdom, and for him to have a heart like David did in the Bible. David was SO overjoyed that God was returning to his people that he tore off his robe and started dancing like a crazy person in front of all his friends. He danced because his heart told him to, and all his friends laughed at him and thought he was drunk, but he wasn't. He was just living outside of the bounds of DOING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE THINKS YOU SHOULD DO.

We need more modern day Davids in this world.

I just know that Ezra will dance to a different tune like that.



Heck, he's already begun.

Long Coats: What Do You Think?

Okee dokee- since you asked...

I got the jacket at Target. (See my previous post if you have no clue what I'm talking about.) I never ever thought I would ever ever ever buy a long coat... I thought I wanted one similar to this but short. I decided to try it on in the store "just in case" I liked it. I was sure I would hate it. I looked in the mirror for 1.2 seconds, slid it back off my shoulders, and then went straight to the registers and bought it.




Warm, cozy goodness.

Hopefully my rash decision was a good one, what do you guys think? Yay or Nay?

If nothing else, as least my thighs will be warm for a change. Heh.

A Well-Watered Garden.

Ezra LOVES the snow.

Yesterday evening, at about five o'clock, I started to feel a bit suffocated and smothered. After a hard and long day with Ezra, I was feeling completely spent. As soon as Chris walked in the door last night, I got this super intense desire to be alone. To disappear for awhile and let myself breathe.

I realized last night that I have not been by myself ONCE since I left Oklahoma 42 DAYS AGO. I've had great opportunities to get away from Ezra since I've been here, but I haven't used any of them to have some alone time. For someone like me, this is a recipe for disaster. Time by myself is completely necessary for my sanity, and I had not been taking care of myself in that way. So, last night, I realized I had let it go too long and the result was me feeling like I wanted to lock myself in a dark room and cry.

Snow Angel.

Instead, my husband convinced me to go out. To wander and take my time and do things that would make me feel like myself again.

So, I did the most reasonable thing for a girl like me.

I went and bought myself a new coat.

I then promptly informed Chris that he'd just bought me my Christmas present.

Ha.

I've been butt cold since I've been here and didn't have a warm enough coat, and I just couldn't wait the two more weeks for Christmas. So I bought a coat. I wandered in a couple of stores and drove around in my car- totally alone. And it felt so dang good. I blasted the mix CD we made for the trip out here while I drove the streets of Reno- singing along to Iron & Wine like my life depended on it.

"Boy With A Coin" by Iron & Wine is my favorite song right now. And I also really love "The Trapeze Swinger" by them as well.

I owe Jen Manuele for that discovery. A.MAZING.

Here's the rest of the list from our mix CD, all compiled from your suggestions:



You guys have some seriously INSANE great tastes in music. Our favorites were the Sufjan Stevens stuff we found and the Iron & Wine, as well as Band of Horses. We downloaded whole albums from these guys once we arrived in Reno.

Emery's personal favorite: Patty Griffin (thanks for reminding me of her, Amy!)

Chris' personal favorite: Massive Attack (thanks, Summer!)

Anywho- thank you again for all your help. We are rich with good music now, and we owe it all to you guys!





Back to last night: It was just what I needed. I came home refreshed and ready to tackle the day-to-day again. It is so easy to forget about yourself when you become a mom. I was beginning to feel like my sole purpose in this life was to retrieve juice-juice and ask if Ezra needed to use the potty every five minutes.

I've been attempting to write posts on this blog for days but I could come up with nothing to say. I've been completely uninspired. I tried so hard to write yesterday and just couldn't muster anything up. This is abnormal for me, and it was then that it dawned on me-

the well was dry.

When I stop filling myself up, I eventually run out of water to give to others. I owe it to myself and my family to stay filled up. To allow God to overflow me, even.

If I let Him do that, there will be life and green all around me... a well-watered garden that has no need to fear when the heat comes.

Not A Creature Was Stirring....

Before I say a single thing about the wonderfulness that was my weekend or the mouse that is about 10 feet away from me right at this very moment, waiting to pounce upon my face (I just know it), I want to say a huge THANK YOU to those of you who were kind enough to comment on my last 'I So Crazy And Now You All Know It' post. Your words of understanding and support were SO helpful to me. They caused me to take a deep breath and know that the world wasn't REALLY ending like I had thought, there was just a little pee spot on the carpet and my son was totally normal. I'm totally calm and cool about the whole thing now, and Ezra is still using the potty mostly. He even went poo again today and got himself a balloon for the effort.

Things are looking up.

We went and cut a tree yesterday with my parents and Chris' sister and her husband. It is now my most favorite memory, fresh as it may be, because it was just so fun and nostalgic and wonderful. PERFECT. I cannot even tell you how much fun I had. The designated cutting area was only a couple of miles from my parent's house, and part of the fun was the adventure of driving up dirt roads on the fresh blanket of snow that had fallen the day before. Here are some photos:

MoMar & Ezra.
Uhh....You guys got a permit for all that CUTE?

It was in there somewhere.

Revealed!

Tree Hunters. Tonight at 8 on the Discovery Chanel.
(Don't worry, we trimmed it down a bit.)

MoMar brought hot cocoa.

We had a toast back at the truck.

Ezra decided to name the tree "Fruit Snacks".
Why the heck not?

Today was spent getting out all the Christmas decorations and decorating the house and tree. We listened to Christmas music (go download Over The Rhine's Christmas Album 'Snow Angels' right now now NOW!) and we drank eggnog and had the most wonderful day. To top it off, we watched 'Christmas Vacation' and I laughed so hard at the sledding scene (the one where he takes off like a rocket and ends up forever later in the Walmart parking lot) that I almost cried. AGAIN.

Decorating.

The sky outside while decorating.

Handsome husband.

Finished Product.

As for the aforementioned mouse, it is hanging out in the living room with us- darting back under the TV stand whenever Chris makes a movement while playing Zelda on the Wii. We're tucked up on the couches- feet off of the floor. I know I should hate this little mouse, but he's just too cute and I instead find myself loving him.

Me, hubby, and a witty bitty mouse... chillaxin' on a Sunday night together.

How quaint.

On Edge.

Yesterday things took a sharp downward spiral in the potty training department. There were many, many, many accidents... accidents that he seemed to be holding on to until the very moment I got him dressed and put on his shoes. He started screaming "NO!" when I would ask him to use the big boy potty. He would have nothing to do with it. He is refusing to tell me when he needs to go. Today, as a result, he has no clean socks. No clean underwear. No clean pants. They are all in the wash at my parent's house.

When I try to explain to him that he needs to use the potty, he ignores me. Won't respond to me. Looks right through me.

I'm trying not to get angry. I am so frustrated.

It has only been one and a half days of this...the days before were great, but I feel I am at the end of my rope. On the verge of giving up again. He has a diaper on now. Because his undies are in the dryer. Meanwhile, Ezra seems like he has been on edge through all of this as well- like all this potty pressure has been too much and now, as a result, he is acting out in ways that are really unlike him.

I am tired and need help. I am worn thin and feel like I'm about to cry.

Is this all too much? What with being away from home and switching between grandparent's houses every couple of days? Ezra keeps asking for his room. His house. Maybe this pressure is just too much for him right now. For me right now.

But the kid is almost three. I know he is capable of using the potty. He's just being stubborn and refusing to do it. And this is the kind of kid that completely shuts down if you push too hard about something... he can't be bribed or talked into something that he has set his mind against. This I've learned for sure about him. It's just like with him refusing to speak until about two months ago- as soon as I stopped trying to force the issue, he started speaking. In sentences.

I know it often does more harm than good to give up once you've started potty training. It can confuse the kid. I know it's bad to wait too long, as well. I also know that accidents are completely normal and have to be expected, and I could totally deal with that if that's all this was... but it feels like something greater. Like it's just too much on top of being away from home. I can see it in his eyes.

So. I'm at a loss. I will push through the rest of today, but my motherly instincts are telling me to be very sensitive to Ezra right now... to understand that being away from his house and his room and his routine is harder on him than I thought it would be.

Boot Camp. Potty Style.

Now this is what I call PROGRESS.

Yesterday's Potty Training Boot Camp went very well. There were no accidents. There was much peeing and (gasp!) there was a poop. IN THE POTTY. It was the shape and size of a tangerine. Owie. He was so proud of himself that he got very upset when I threw the toilet paper in the potty and it covered up his masterpiece. And he was remiss to flush it.

His first potty poop! Yay!

He had slipped away on his own to go, so I am thinking he might be one of those kids that needs his privacy.

Afterwards, we all clapped, we danced, we praised him and hugged him and ooohed and ahhhed until the kid was so excited I think he would have popped one hundred more times if he could have. He got a new toy that MoMar and DooDad just happened to have out in the garage. He kept running to the potty all by himself and climbing up on the toilet and going potty with no help. HE WAS LOVING IT.

This morning when he woke up, he was dry. Then he used the potty all by himself.

I am so proud.

Thank you for all of your help.

Today I plan to work with him a little more on it and then take him out of the house somewhere. This makes me a little nervous because it takes so long to drive into town from my parent's house. There could be accidents. Eeek. I think I will plan on leaving right after he goes pee again.

Isn't this the most fascinating post ever? Me rambling on and on about timing my life around my son's pee and poo? So great. I know you are all riveted. And you're probably all refreshing your browsers over and over again to see if I've posted MORE about Ezra's potty habits in the time it took you to read this.

Please be patient with me. There's only so much I can do. I'm only one person. I will try to update you every quarter of an hour on our progress.

hehe. I JEST.

For the love! Give the people a break, mom.

The Potty Sticker Chart.

Before we left Oklahoma over a month ago, Ezra was doing pretty well with potty training.

Since we've been in Reno, it has been going... not so well.

Today I am at my parent's house, and I don't have a car, so I decided it would be a good day to tackle the big boy potty once again.

I made a sticker chart and then promptly realized I didn't have any stickers, so I made some of those too. Ha.





If Ezra goes pee, he gets to put a sticker on the chart and then gets his choice of fruit snacks or a teddy graham cookie.

See the little grunting guy on the chart? He represents going poo-poo. If Ezra goes #2, which he still has never done on the potty, he gets some little new toy. (like a new hot wheels car or something.)

Lord, I hope this works. I am so sick of changing diapers. And buying diapers.

Any potty training tips for me? I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. (Because I DON'T.) I mean, maybe this chart will do more harm than good... maybe Ezra will be grown and still demanding candy every time he goes potty? That would be real lovely.

What worked for you more experienced parents out there?

The Family Tree.

This week we will be getting a tree for my parent's house.

This is my favorite Christmas tradition: Decorating the tree while listening to Christmas music and drinking eggnog.

If there were lots of snow on the ground, we would probably all bundle up and go cut one; pulling Ezra behind us in a cute little sled. But since there is no snow, a trip to Home Depot's tree lot might be in order. Although, Chris saw a sign the other day at a tree lot advertising trees for $199.00. {GASP!} A tree-cutting permit is only $10.00. So. Perhaps we should go cut one.

I'm so excited for Christmas this year, because Ezra is more like a human and less like a blob this time around. I think he gets it. I'm excited to start new traditions and teach him the traditions Chris and I grew up with.

Ezra and MoMar. Being cold.
I can't wait to pull out all the old ornaments and show him bits of my glittery past glued onto Popsicle sticks and etched into lacquered dough. I can't wait to watch him grasp the concept of hanging these history-drenched tokens onto the branches of the Christmas tree. There is something so beautiful about decorating the tree to me. Maybe it's because I'm a history-junkie, and those old shoe boxes full of ornaments are like priceless time capsules... you can just see the nostalgia rise up in everyone's eyes when they make their annual appearance.

I can see it now: The lower right hand portion of the tree will be crowded with ornaments. (That will be the part that Ezra painstakingly decorated.) And not one of us will dare to move a single ornament that he's placed upon the tree. Even if the finished product looks silly and unorganized and bottom-heavy.

And Ezra will be so proud.

This year, he knows that Christmas is Jesus' birthday. And when I told him that, his eyes got real big and he said, "Jesus birfday? Birfday Cake?"

So, I am thinking of making a birthday cake. For Jesus. It might say, "Happy 2041th-ish, Jesus!" (can you imagine all the candles?) and it just might become a new tradition.

I love to hear about quirky family traditions that are far from traditional. So, I am curious... Do you have any unconventional holiday rituals?


Yet another example of great minds thinking alike.
Jared and Ezra LOVE this marble run toy.

Objects In Mirror.

The crunching sound made me panic a bit and say some choice words that Ezra had never heard before.

"Sit. Sit. Sit. Sit.", he repeated from his chair in the backseat of my mom's Nissan Murano.

He was only missing the H.

I pulled forward and proceeded to freak out some more.

"Oh no. Oh no. Oh no., I said.

"O no. O no. O no.", he said.

I hopped out of the car. Then back in. Then back out again. I didn't know quite what to do.

"Mamma! Fix it, mamma! Mamma, fix it!", shouted my concerned son.

My parent's garage door will never be the same.

When Bloggers Collide.

Have I ever told you that Shannon of Misguided Mommy and I grew up together? We did. We were in Girl Scouts together and cheerleading together. Elementary School, Middle School, High School. We weren't super close in high school because... well... she liked to have fun and my goody two shoes were tied a little too tight back then. They were laced tight and triple knotted and now I realize those shoes cheated me out of a lot of really cool friendships. How lame of me.

Anyways, Ezra and I got to hang out with Shannon and her sons Brandon and Codi this morning. It was so much fun to see Shannon again after all of these years, and her little boys stole my heart right out of my chest and didn't give it back. Shannon is such a sweet momma and her house was so welcoming and warm. What a beautiful family she has.


This was the closest I could get to a picture of Ezra and Brandon together. This is also the moment that Ezra's pants dumped the contents of half of the sandbox into Brandon's cute bed. YOUR WELCOME, Shannon!


Cute cute cute cute cute cute cute.


Shannon checking for an illusive "boo boo".


There was more sand in the house than in the sandbox by the time we left. Heh.


I got to hold Codi the whole time I was there and he's soooo tiny and cute. He slept while I held him because he likes me.

Umm...Honey? I'm in love with another man...


...He has dark hair and weighs about 7 lbs.
And he poops a lot.