January 19, 2011

The Possibility of Last Pregnancies.



It seems that every pregnancy has been a bit more uncomfortable than the one before it, and this time around the pain has manifested itself mostly in my tailbone (read: BUTT) and my lower back. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being pregnant, but each time has been harder on my body than the time before.

It's a little bit like 'how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop'? And my answer is... three? Maybe? Third time's a charm? I remember when I was pregnant with Myer, I KNEW that it wasn't my last pregnancy. It just didn't feel like the last time. At all. But this time around, the thought of this being the last is much more... comfortable.

The thought of, "Awww, this may be the last time I feel a little alien kicking around on the inside of me!" makes me feel a little bit more on the EXCITED side than the depressed side this go around. haha.

All that being said, I still feel a leeeeetle bit sad that this pregnancy is already flying by so quickly. I absolutely love being pregnant. I love the sweet connection you can have with other mothers who you don't even know... the knowing glance and smile from a woman in the grocery store. And I absolutely LOVE it when people touch/rub my belly. I don't even have to know you, there is just something magnetic about a big round baby bump, I think, and I love it when people feel comfortable enough to just reach out and connect with the life growing inside of me.

I have never understood why so many women FREAK OUT about the fact that someone touched their belly. I'm not even a very touchy-feely person, but I just love the way that pregnancy can break down all the "social status-quos" and allow people to be excited and celebrate for a moment together even though they may not know each other very well. Or at all! New life has this glorious way of drawing us together, and that is one of my absolute favorite things about being pregnant.

This is also why I was hoping that, just ONCE, I would be able to be pregnant in a season that wasn't the dead of winter. But it never worked out that way, and, I think, about 80% of the time, when I'm out and about or wherever, people STILL don't even know that I am pregnant... because I have to completely smother myself in a gigantic coat to combat the freezing air. I've even had people I KNOW at church (like, last week) look at me and say "I didn't even know you were expecting!"

I blame the monster coat.

I would have loved to experience pregnancy in the Spring or even Summer- when skirts and dresses and flip-flops are (comfy) options for a growing belly. (Remember my 'I'm pregnant and HATE PANTS' post? STILL VERY MUCH APPLIES.)

Anywho, I guess I am just feeling like this might be it, which makes part of me do the happy dance (my tailbone [read: butt] and lower back parts mostly) while the other parts of me just want to sit and stare out a window and contemplate what that means as this season of my life comes to a close. Hahaha... what a mental picture I've just painted for you. Me, sitting in a chair, happy dancing AND being deeply contemplative. That's looney bin behavior!

Of course, I have no idea what God has in store for my family and all of this 'feeling like this is the last pregnancy' could change in the future, if He so chooses to change it, but for now, this is where I'm at:

Happy and a wee bit sad, still wishing that I didn't have to wear pants.

:)

12 comments:

NOELLE ALOUD said...

Kisses for your poor tailbone! Er...you know what I mean.

The belly really is magnetic. I think people understand, on some level, that there's a brand new soul in there. There's something especially magical - even holy - about expectant mothers, and people can't help but want to touch!

As for pants, I have problems with them and I'm not pregnant. Pants are a problem.

~ Noelle

Lisa said...

Your poor tailbone. I had such terrible low back pain and sciatica last time, not really looking forward to that again. Anyway, you posted this and my friend just shared this link on Facebook within minutes of eachother.

http://www.conversiondiary.com/2010/10/my-answer-to-do-you-want-more-children.html

Thought it was kind of funny since it is the same topic. And I thought it was a good read on the subject.

Lisa said...

PS I am one of the dreamily people. I just am...

Lisa said...

*dreamily? Really autocorrect? I meant freakout. Not sure how freakout turns into dreamily. Haha!

Emery Jo said...

lisa- that was a GREAT article! I agree with her 100%. thanks for sharing that.

noelle- YES. "Pants are a problem". hahahaha.

Aislinn said...

It's neat to read that you feel that this third pregnancy is likely your last, and that you did not feel that way with your second pregnancy. I am pregnant now for the second time, and I can just feel that this is not the last time, but that next time will probably be the last. It feels like I don't even have a say in the matter; this is just the way it is going to be in this lifetime, and I am just along for the ride. Yay! It has proven to be a fun ride so far.

Actually, we are due around the same time, you in another 9-ish weeks and me in another 12-ish weeks. It has been fun reading along with your pregnancy and watching your belly grow as mine does also.

My first son will be only 21 months when his brother/sister is born, so mixed in with excitement there is some worry as to how to juggle co-sleeping and tandem nursing, but luckily I have a great circle of friends and family who support me and my growing family.

All the best to you always, and please know that I think your blog is great!

Aislinn

haverlee said...

Love your blog. I love being pregnant too. And I totally understand your wish to be pregnant in the summer!
I had my 2nd boy in mid-September so I got to experience my glorious bump in tank tops and skirts and loved it. I didn't relate to women who say its the worst, because of the heat. You're right- wintertime pregnancy is no fun. I hated pulling my pants up every other second and covering up my bump in coats and sweaters too!! (But I'm a skinny minny like you too, so I think that's a big part of it--the loving summer AND hating winter!)

Excellent Parent said...

I loved when people touched my stomach. What I miss the most about pregnancy is that you dont have to suck in your stomach after a big meal, because its already so big. I miss that.

Anonymous said...

Hey :) I just googled "17 Weeks pregnant belly" and found your blog. What a pleasure to read! I 'm totally in the same boat as you with the belly touching...I love it! And I also am not a huggy-buggy person. Maybe it's because I've wanted to be pregant for so long that now I finally am, I am sooo enjoying everything that comes along with it. When I had terrible morning sickness, I even thought to myself "this is so cool, kelly, you GET to be morning sick!" Enjoy the last weeks of your last pregnancy! I look forward to reading about the big day soon.

Nicole said...

Emery, I just LOVE reading your posts. Your boys are so adorable (I miss Ezra, by the way!) and you are doing a fabulous job of raising them. I know that, whatever gender, you are going to be a wonderful mother to this third addition.

Lil Muse Lily said...

you are so cute!! although it may feel like the last, you never know, right? but you have been so blessed to have had the wonderful opportunity to have been able to have been pregnant at least 3 times! :)

i used to work with a lot of haitians. i don't know if you know anything about haitians but they are probably the most superstitious people i know. they would advise me to not let people touch my pregnant belly because people could pass bad wishes onto me and my baby.
crazy talk!!! ;)

Branson said...

I just found your blog today and I want to sit here and read every post! Love it :)