It didn't take long for Myer to figure out that when mommy is feeding the baby, she can't stop him from doing naughty things. My patience has been tried and tested, and has, in a few million instances, FAILED MISERABLY.
I spent the first couple of days home from the hospital feeling weighed down because I was having so many negative thoughts towards my two year old. My head sounded like this:
"Myer is such a brat! I can't even LOOK at him right now!!"
Followed closely by:
"What kind of a mother would feel these things towards her child?! You're already dropping the ball, maybe you really can't do this."
These thoughts played on repeat in my brain until I was a fragile, crumbly mess.
But then, I remembered some advice I had heard a long time ago about bringing a new baby home and having an older child (or children) act out.
YOU PUT THE BABY DOWN.
Yes.
You put the baby down as soon as your older kid's behavior has reached a point where you need to act, and you take care of the situation. You discipline. With the same firmness and resolve you would have if you didn't have a newborn in your arms.
Your baby will probably cry.
Oh well!
It's really not the end of the world.
You show your older children that they can not walk all over you, and then you go pick the baby back up again and continue nursing/soothing/smooching the wee one.
After I remembered that advice, I felt like my world turned right side up again. I felt like I had a PLAN, and that was all that I needed to feel like I could manage and survive all these boys at once.
Of course, my mommy is here for now and is helping a TON with Myer & Ezra, but I still feel okay, because I know that when she leaves and it's just me and these boys, I'll know how to react! Phew!
Truman is still sleeping all day and night and hardly making a peep. I keep forgetting he's here! I have to wake him up to feed him every three or four hours, otherwise he would be sleeping right through his feeding times. Crazy babe. He weighed seven pounds at his doctor's visit on Thursday, so he's only down three ounces from his birth weight, so I'm not too worried.
The boys are sweetness together, and Myer is getting better and better with Truman every day:
And these boys are pretty sweet too:
Yep. It's sweetness central up in here. I'm a VERY blessed (and extremely outnumbered) woman. :)
13 comments:
This is so good to read as I'm expecting my second baby in July. I probably wouldnt have thought to put the baby down. Good advice! Are we going to be hearing your birth story soon? I can't wait to hear how it went!
god bless you friend! I know it's got to be tough. That is really good advice tho. Il keep it in mind if this lil boy of mine ever decided to make his entrance into the world. :o)
I got that advice too; take care of your older child(ren)'s needs first because they will notice and remember be more likely to act out if they feel neglected or frustrated. The baby may fuss but doesn't know any different and won't remember anyway.
Three boys together...such a great picture!
That's totally awesome advice, makes sense! It's been fun watching your pregnancy progress as I'm only a few weeks behind you.
The other thing I'm planning on remembering with Maia, is that it's a totally normal biological reaction to have those moments of not being able to stand your older kids -- in a sort of pushing them outta the nest and survival of your youngest progeny sort of way...
...Hard for a 2 year old to leave home and get a job though, so I think the first bit of advice is priceless.
are you kidding me!?! I love that last(ish) photo of all 3 babies...Truman's feet on myers face, so sweet! LOVE it! and Chris and Truman?! so darling! maybe boys are so bad...hmmm. you are doing great and I bet you will be amazing even when your mom isn't there! I keep saying to Sophia "it's not the end of the world...I know hunny, deal with it." the younger ones learn to adapt much quicker I think ;)
I could just eat Ezra up! He is so in love with that baby. What a sweet, sweet boy.
That last picture is fantastic! Such sweetness!
I like your plan. I find having a plan (for almost everything) is kind of crucial - and then I can change the plan as the need arises.
Ah, yes, great advice to put the baby down. i keep forgetting that one. hm. maybe if i put my baby(er toddler) down when i should have, we could have avoided a certain naughty someone else from getting stitches.
I am in tears every time I see your sweet little family. These photos are priceless :)
This doesn't match exactly what you are talking about, but I'm reading the book, Mind in the Making, right now and it talked about how moms who deliberately helped their older children see life from the baby's point of view were able to promote much more family harmony.
To do this they spoke of the baby as a joint family responsibility and they also asked the older kids if they could figure out what the baby needed when he was upset.
I like your plan and that you thought things through. I wonder what Myer would say if you asked him how the baby feels when you have to put him down in the middle of eating because Myer is being naughty. Of course, I'm not saying that Myer shouldn't get to talk about how difficult it is to share you with a new baby. Because I'm sure that would be helpful for him, too.
I love how excited Ezra & Myer are around Truman. Such an adorable set of kids. :)
p/s: I gave you the "cherry on top award" - http://awesomealiciaslife.blogspot.com/2011/03/panicking-and-cherry-on-top.html (see the end of the post)
that is some great advice!!!!
hang in there. you are a strong mama!
That second photo is the sweetest! Just staring at the new addition with such love in their eyes. So so sweet.
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