Had a mini melt-down this morning re: the state of my very dirty house and feeling the pressure of eventually making room for IMPENDING BABY.
We just set up a new twin sized bed in Ezra's room, but because of the way his room is layed out, there was only one place to put the bed and it's just not working for me. Feels too cluttered.
Now, we're thinking we will make the current office into Ezra's room, and eventually turn Ezra's old room into the nursery for the new baby.
The rooms in this house are all so tiny.
After much thought, we've squeezed our desk from the office into the kitchen. Because it was either that or get rid of it entirely- and we still need a desk area for papers/bill paying. And it works fine in here, it really does, but I guess I am just feeling the pinch of 'too much stuff and nowhere to put it all'.
Deep down I know that this is totally ridiculous. ONLY IN AMERICA would you find a woman crying over the fact that she only has THREE BEDROOMS! Waahh! Is that the world's tiniest violin I hear?
It is completely an American mentality that we need so much space and room to function and raise a family. And I got caught up in that this morning (much to my husband's dismay) as he hugged me and reasoned me back to sanity and eagerly helped me by moving furniture from one corner of a room to another. And then back again.
On the heels of this meltdown came the similar 'I need to go find a real job and help pay bills' meltdown. I have an impressive resume for such a task. It goes like this: Stay at home mom who worked at a restaurant once. Now... Someone hire me and pay me enough money to cover the cost of two small children in full time care!
What?? No takers??
I know this is silly too. I don't want someone else to raise my kids for me so that I can afford more house to fill with my stuff. Yet somehow, my priorities were all out of whack as I rolled out of bed this morning and I forgot all about that. AND IT WASN'T PRETTY.
I'm feeling better now, though. My house is still dirty and the rooms still feel like an impossible 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle in my head, but I'm slowly remembering that there are more important things than "elbow room" in this world.
Like health and hospitality and a grateful heart for this amazing house and family.
So.... I'm working on that. And ignoring the dust for another day. *cough sneeze*