Lately I've been thinking about my birthing experience that I had with Ezra, and it suddenly hit me: He was delivered by a NURSE. There was NO doctor or midwife in sight when Ezra decided to show up. It never seemed that weird to me before, but I'm realizing now that it was a pretty unorthodox circumstance. When I've said in the past that I gave birth using a midwife, I guess it's not entirely accurate. My midwife didn't show up until 15 minutes after Ezra was born. The nurses didn't call her in time.
I was a first time mother, so the nurses kept saying, "Oh, honey- you won't be having this baby until tomorrow. Why don't you just go home and labor for awhile?"
When I showed up at the hospital, I was only 1 cm dialated. This was... disappointing. They tried to get me to go home and come back later, but something in my gut (perhaps the rapidly approaching BABY?) was telling me to STAY PUT.
They shoved me in a crappy room and ignored me for awhile.
Finally, my friend (really, she was amazing and should be a professional Doula) went and got the nurse and demanded that they check me again. The nurse kindof rolled her eyes and slapped on some gloves. They were busy that night. She had more pressing issues to tend to.
When they checked me again, about an hour later, I was four centimeters dialated. Within another hour, I was at seven.
I was only in labor for five or six hours total. I pushed twice, and Ezra was born.
There was mass chaos in the room when he came. The extremely flustered nurse caught him (after telling me not to push {YEAH RIGHT} because the midwife wasn't there yet) and then she cut the umbilical cord before anyone knew what happened and she disappeared around the partition with Ezra to clean him off. I remember asking, "Is it a boy? What is it? Where'd he go?"
Ezra was crying like a mofo. After a couple short minutes, they brought him to me so I could nurse him.
My midwife showed up about 10 minutes later, and she was pretty upset that they hadn't called her in time. She stitched me up because I tore a little bit, and that was the extent of her involvement in my labor.
I'm realizing that this time around, it could be a totally different experience. Maybe this time around, I will have a midwife by my side through the whole process. I wonder how that will change things. I think about myself when I had Ezra: I had no idea what I was doing, and I just had to figure it out pretty much on my own. If it hadn't been for my friend and Chris being there to help me, I probably wouldn't have been able to do it naturally. I needed that support.
I feel so much more prepared this time around. And I'm so excited to give birth again! Hopefully this time I will actually get to have a 'midwife guided labor' instead of a 'Holy crap! Nurse! Catch the baby!' type experience.
I imagine every birth that a woman has is incredibly different, so I don't have too many expectations at this point. I'd love for another short and easy labor, but I'd be unwise to expect that and then not be prepared if this labor is much longer or more difficult. (Did any of you have a more difficult labor the second or third time around? They always say your labor gets progressivly quicker with every child, but I'm sure that's not true for everyone...)
I'm trying to educate myself as if I've never done this before. So, Chris and I will be joining my neighbor's Bradley Birthing Method class on Mondays, starting this coming week, and I'm really excited about it! I think it wil be really helpful for us.
Have any of you taken Bradley classes? What was your experience with it?
My first prenatal appointment is actually the 17th, not the 19th like I thought, which is this Thursday. I CAN'T WAIT!! Surely there's only one baby in there... right??
THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.
11 comments:
first time: 9 hrs labor, 50 minutes pushing, midwife there entire time. tiny skid-mark of a tear. 9 lb baby.
second time: 3 hrs labor, 10 minutes of NOT pushing (even though my body was trying with all its might), while my midwife was rushing to the hospital (grrrr). Once midwife arrived, 2 pushes till birth. No tearing, not even a skid. 7.5lb baby.
much easier and much faster the 2nd time around.
all I did to prepare the 2nd time was read "birthing from within". i recommend it.
I don't know, I think there could be one or two in there. But you're pretty slender so it's hard to tell. I also want to know what labor is like the second time around. I was induced the first time (I was greatful for that due to weeks of prodromal labor) but now I wonder if I'll go on my own or what. I never got to have that middle of the night "honey we have to go the hospital now" experience and think I would like to. No matter what I'll be happy to just get a healthy baby (a girl would be nice) and not be pregnant anymore!
Your story sounds a little like my mom. Her water broke at 7pm. She was admitted to the hospital at 7:30pm. They checked her and she was like 7cm. The doctor said since she was a first time mom that it would still be awhile and left. Then my mom felt the urge to push. The nurse rolled her eyes. I was born at 7:35pm. Everyone was in chaos mode because they weren't expecting it to happen so fast. All my mom's births were under a couple hours. I hope I'm that lucky, but also expecting that it could be different.
Last night at my midwife appointment she told me two stories. First lady was in labor for 49 hours with her first. For her second she went into labor early on Christmas Eve. My midwife was taking her time getting over there and kind of bummed that she was going to miss Christmas with her family. She took about 30 minutes to get to the lady's house thinking she was in for another long labor. Well as she was turning onto their street the husband calls in a panic. She walks in the door and the woman is already crowning.
Another client of hers was the opposite. For her first woke up in the middle of the night already in transition. Took her 30 minutes to get to the hospital and had the baby upon arrival. Second baby she rushed to the hospital as soon as labor started thinking that she would have another quick labor. She wound up being at the hospital and laboring for 60 hours.
So basically what I've gotten from these and other stories is that every woman and every labor is different.
Anyway, sorry for the book of a comment.
we took the bradley classes and loved them. i did not end up having a natural childbirth but am still glad we took the class. we're still in touch with several of the families and i loved having a place to go every week where i felt normal instead of pregnant and freakish. even though we learned a TON i still felt like i had no idea what to do when it was actually happening. i guess it's like training for a marathon without ever running. you know what is supposed to happen but have no idea how it will feel. i wonder if having done it once will make the 2nd time around more predictable or if every birth is totally different. you'll have to let me know!
i love your baby bump. ;)
My four births have all been similar. All short and easy. Well, as birthing goes. ;-) They have not gotten progressively quicker. 6 hours, 5 hours, 2 hours, 4 hours of hard labor, respectively.
Bradley classes are *awesome*.
Not that it makes an ounce of difference to you, but actually only 3 hours for the last baby, not 4 hours. :-D
I've only had one, but a friend of mine just had her third and after two, two week early children, her third was two weeks late and delivered via c-section (after many complications).
My sister's third had a total of one hour labor. From the time she had her first contraction to her one and only push-one hour.
So it's probably wise to expect the unexpected. Every birth-just like every baby- is unique, just as God creates us. Kind of cool to think.
I'm so excited to go on this journey with you. And I'm totally praying for a girl=)
Hi! I'm a friend of Caitlin Dizinno's and she directed me to your blog a while ago. I love reading it!!! My husband and I just gave birth to our first baby using the Bradley method and it was absolutely wonderful. The information and relaxation really works! I had to be induced because our baby was nine days late, but even with pitosin, I managed a natural childbirth by completely relaxing my body. I highly recommend it - enjoy!
I didn't take a childbirth class with my first pregnancy, but my husband and I just finished a Bradley class. Even though I had read six books on natural childbirth I still learned a ton of stuff in the class and we are both so glad we took it.
I'm 38 weeks right now so I haven't actually gotten to labor with the bradley method but I can update you soon (I hope) as to how it went.
yay bradley classes! the best! we'll see what happens with me this time, i hope its shorter than 40 hours, but we'll see... but seth's mom, jesse was like 30 hours, joel was 18 and seth was also like 30 ... so.... you never know. the good thing about the long labor is that its slow for a lot of the time, the bad thing is you are a million times more exhausted when you're done than those with short labors because you haven't slept for two days.. either way i'm sure is good in its own right... but i'm surely hoping for a shorty.. as far as you pushing him out in two pushes!!! i'm pissed. it took me 2 hours and 45 minutes!!!!!!!!!!
My mom used the Bradley method when she gave birth to me 25 years (or so) ago... Obviously she lived through it- and since you have given birth naturally before it's probably not a bad way to go. However, I am a wuss that likes her epidural. I have so much respect for women who do it naturally. Whoo boy, do I!
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