April 25, 2008


I've been thinking about security a lot lately- and how there's only one place to really find it- yet everywhere you look it's being obnoxiously PROMISED! or MONEY BACK GUARANTEED! to you until you're convinced your very life is in the hands of the latest gadget or contraption. Or cushioned bank account.

Security can't be found in those things, no matter how much we'd like to believe that it can.

I think we've been taught to live in an almost constant state of fear, is what I'm saying. And I also think that THIS SUCKS.

There have been a couple of points in my life where I could have given way to this fear... could have allowed it to take more control of me and slowly consume each of my days thereafter...

Like the time a few years back when Chris and I (just newly married) awoke to find a strange man standing in our bedroom at 3 in the morning. He'd let himself in through the unlocked sliding glass door that was about four feet away from the bed we were sleeping in at the time, and he was pulling things out from underneath the bed- looking for something valuable that he could steal from us.

Chris hopped out of bed like a lightning bolt and yelled at the strange guy- who then slipped back out the sliding glass door and ran away (or so we thought) as Chris tried to pull all of our clothing and belongings back inside that had been strewn about the patio- preventing him from being able to shut and lock the door. I valiantly sat up in bed and said things like "What the heck?" and "What the heck?!?!" and "What the HECK?!!?" Then, Chris ran around to the front door to lock that as well, and when he threw the deadbolt, he heard the intruder make a run for it. He had been crouched outside our front door.

We called the police. They dusted for prints. They eventually caught the guy. The end.

At that point, I had a choice to make. I could let this scary event worm its way through my mind and cause me to be afraid for the rest of my life, or I could choose to... not let it do that. Every time I started to replay the scenario in my head- usually when I was lying awake in bed at night- I had to stop myself. I had to stop myself and then remind myself that I couldn't let this guy rob me of my stuff AND my feeling of security... my peace of mind. I wouldn't let myself give him that kind of power over me. After a while of doing this, the battle was over and I wasn't afraid anymore.

I have to do this for the little things, too. Like when I think about the future and how insecure the economy is/could become and where will we get enough money to retire? How and WHEN will we get to a place where we're not living paycheck-to-paycheck? When I think about this kind of stuff, I feel myself becoming afraid. "Oooged out." I feel out of control. I tell myself that if we don't have this all figured out right now, we'll end up penniless and broke. This causes me to have a hard time spending money. Even on groceries. I've let fear in somewhere along the way.

I need to let God remind me that He is in control. That everything will work together for the good. Having a lot of money DOES NOT EQUAL happiness. NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I'm not saying we shouldn't plan for the future and be wise with our money, but I am saying that we need to find our security in something that doesn't fluctuate with the strength of the dollar or the current cost of a barrel of oil. If we tie ourselves to those things, we'll be whiplashed and seasick- weary of the journey and ultimately- unhappy.

Even when things are crazy all around me, God will take care of me. Always. When the whole earth is shaking, He isn't moved. Now that sounds like something I can really tie my boat to... an anchor that will never fail me. What a relief.


PS. Looking for an intense reminder that God is in control of our security? Or that maybe (just maybe) God doesn't really want or desire EVERYONE to be monetarily wealthy? That having money isn't the same as being "blessed"? Read "Chasing the Dragon" by Jackie Pullinger. No, really... DO. It will change your life. She gave EVERYTHING up, and, just... WOW.


anna joy said...

this is so true. "...We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure..." hewbrews 6:19

Talia said...

I love the security, assurance, and bold confidence that we can have as children of God, and which you have so beautifully written about here.

Leanne said...

mmm, good stuff here emery. Love it.