December 28, 2007

Painting A New Picture.

Continuing on from this post....

I need something to pour myself into. Something that isn't a quickly growing toddler. Ezra is almost at the age where he can start going to school... start joining activities... start having a life of his own.

I need something of my own, too. Staying at home just isn't cutting it for me anymore. I sit around all day and do mostly a whole lot of nothing. And this is slowly draining the life out of me.

Here's the frustrating thing that you hear every mom talk about at some point or another: If I were to go get a job, it can pretty much be guaranteed that I won't be bringing in any extra income, because the cost of childcare would offset whatever I was making. (Unless I had a degree in something and could get a well paying, full-time job, of course.) Chris and I could definitely use some extra income, but I'm only looking to work part time. I don't have a college degree, and have NO CLUE what I would even want to do if I were given the chance to go back to school, so I have been at somewhat of a loss.

I have been talking about all of this a lot with my parents and my husband. They are all for me and want what is best for me, and have been a great help to me- simply by listening to my frustrations and fears and feelings of being easily overwhelmed. They've had great suggestions, and helped me see that I am not the same person I used to be... that I need to do something for myself before I forget who I once was completely.

In high school and college, I seemed to have it all together. I was in leadership and could plan big things without getting too overwhelmed. Ever since I have been out of school, however, I have had trouble even organizing a trip to the doctor's office or play dates for Ezra. I get completely overwhelmed at the thought of even picking up a telephone, so instead, I do nothing. This is paralyzing and I haven't been able to will myself to change. This drives me insane EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I'm starting to realize that this is because, in school, everything was mapped out for me. I had a choice of classes A, B, or C, and I had to be here or here at a certain time everyday. My life was organized for me, and I excelled at it. Ever since I've been out of school, however, I have been a complete disorganized mess...

I never learned how to schedule my own life, and I am suffering greatly for it now.

Back to present: The mere thought of having to arrange childcare that will be flexible and coordinate perfectly with a job that I manage to find is completely crippling for someone like me. I start to cry just thinking about it. Its almost like an anxiety attack or something. I don't know. I feel so stupid for not being able to manage my own life. Thankfully, I have good support to keep me from completely caving in on myself.

So, after much talking and debating and thinking things over, my husband and my parents have helped me come to this idea:



DUH.

My husband owns his own painting company. He's been wanting some part-time help... just an extra pair of hands when he really needs them.

Here's what I figure: This is obviously EXTREMELY flexible. I can go in and help Chris whenever I feel like it. My helping makes his jobs go quicker, so he can schedule more jobs in a month and make a little bit more income for the family. He can pay me hourly, and I can just plan on helping him whenever Ezra is in school. I will probably start him in a preschool 2 days a week. I can wok as little or as much as I'd like, and it helps me feel like a productive human being again. I figure if this works smoothly, I can see how I feel and maybe get an evening job a couple of nights a week too- like working at a coffee shop or a store I like, just so I can get some more social interaction and Chris can stay home with Ezra those evenings.

It's just an idea. We are going to try it out when we get back home.



So far, I am really liking it. I've helped Chris out a bit here in Reno, and we work
well together. I enjoy doing the detail stuff that drives Chris crazy. (Touch-ups, small brush work, etc.) I am so blessed to even have to opportunity to do something like this, and I feel like I can breathe a little bit easier again.

Plus, how cute is a husband and wife painting company? It's DANG CUTE, that's what it is. Heh.

I think we may be on to something here?

In completely unrelated news... be expecting a super awesome GUEST POST here soon from my adorable husband. Wee!

15 comments:

Fluent Brittish said...

How fun! And that is a great idea (just don't get fired! Ha ha!)You guys look adorable in your painting clothes.

Anonymous said...

Emery,
I don't know you very well at all but this is what I see:
a writer
a decorator
a singer
a fashion designer
an artist
a photographer
a musician
and they all flow out of you and bless so many of us out here. Keep persuing your dreams; Ezra can be apart of them, but we (mommies)are still first of all girls-girls with talents and purposes far beyond motherhood. Motherhood is amazing, and at times all consuming, but that's not our only purpose. You paint your heart out, and enjoy the time with Chris.
Love,Danae

blackbird said...

BRILLIANT.

Kerry said...

What about photography? So many people are looking for a photographer to come to their home and take candid shots of their family and kids. You could make some good money and have a flexible schedule. You always have such great shots on your blog.

Anonymous said...

Jacquie here- still reading whilst in England. I love it. Clark and Clarkette painting!! The uniforms will NEVER be the same again. I would love to see you a coco-flow or Blue 7, mostly because I almost office out of Coco-flow and I could see you all the time!! I am sure Blue 7 would have some new clothes to display if you were there!! Let's practice our planning skills and have a dinner when we are all back in the same town. I miss you guys madly. love love love to you.
-jacqs

sufferingsummer said...

I think this is a great idea. My sister-in-law has three little ones at home under 5 and she works part time for anthropolgie...it has been wonderful for her in that she gets out of the house and is able to dress fun and interact with adults on a regular basis plus that store is full of creative outlet for her. She works around her husband's 9-5 schedule and works one long shift on the weekends...I have never seen her happier.
You do have many talents, one of them being parenting, and I will be praying you are able to find a good balance.

Cameron Ingalls said...

DUHHHHH!

Serenity said...

I am very excited for you, but you have to promise to post just as often as you have been. We need our Emery fix!!!

Tara Jones said...

I totally agree with Anonymous:)
That sounds like such a great idea!!! My parents started a business together when they got married (with 3 kids to chase after) and I think the work was my mom's saving grace. Not to mention she could turn around and totally smooch out with my dad when ever she felt like it...hehe...Oh. You want to know how they are today? Pretty much the same. The biz grew into a few businesses and now they're on the road to retirement-27 years later-still working together and stealing moments to smooch out when ever they gosh-darn feel like it!

Talia said...

that IS dang cute!! I love the painter's clothes. What a team.
I'm so glad you seem to have found something that will work out perfectly for you. It sounds like lots of fun, and I'm sure we will all be anxious to hear how it goes!

secret agent mama said...

Our Godparents own a painting company in Buffalo. A few years ago Godmother's company closed down and she did what you are doing, and joined Godfather. They are a great team, love working together, and she's got rocking arm muscles because of it.

Good luck with it all, Emery, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Shawna Herring Photography said...

what a smokin hot idea! you are a hip, hot, momma Emery and you can do ANYTHING! SHEESH! if you wrote a book, it would be a hot potatoe!

skylana said...

this is awesome. i've been thinking about getting a job at night too... just to get out... a coffee shop or something. how fun.

Cam said...

I think that's a great idea. Best of luck!

Hunny Bee May said...

I think you came up with a great solution. Or at least the start of a solution. Don't forget, life is about the journey, not the destination. You're growing and changing just by trying to grow and change. You're better off than you think.
I hope you love your job painting. And if not, I hope you love your job making coffee a couple nights a week. Or selling cute clothes. Or whatever.
This is a confusing time with little ones and big ones all wanting to grow up and be bigger and do something besides whatever it is their doing right now.
I wish you the best of luck. Please keep us posted. And you're right...It is DANG cute!