Today Ezra and I went to Gymboree and we were the ONLY. ONES. THERE.
Can I just tell you that there is nothing more awkward than being the only people at a Gymboree class? It could possibly be worse than Chinese Water Torture. Usually there are 15 kids in this class. I felt like I was in Junior High again, and everyone but me got the memo to "OMG, drop your books on the floor at 1:45pm exactly in Study Hall!!" Was this a practical joke? Am I on camera? Did I just get Punk'ed by a crappy actor?
A big room full of colorful, fun things to climb on.
ONE extremely cranky toddler who is demanding "Ball" the entire hour of the class. ("Ball" is code word for a package of yummy yogos- a yogurt snack in the form of little colorful balls.)
A Gymboree instructor who is following this toddler around- singing to him and trying to get him to do things that he apparently has no interest in doing today. (and yet she sings! She won't stop singing! At ear splitting volume!)
A mother who doesn't know if she should look the instructor in the face while she is following my child around the room- singing and clapping- or if that would be too embarrassing for us all... and also wondering if she is supposed to sing along since she knows all the songs and would that be less awkward? More awkward? Should I try to distract the loud singing lady and bolt for the door and just come back next week?
Finally, about 15 minutes into the class, another kid and his mom walked in. Sweet relief. But wait! This new mom and the gymboree instructor start talking about gymboree instructor's romantic dilemmas and mishaps! Sooooo, I end up entertaining the kids with hula hoops and helping them jump off of the big block onto the mat. I am the one laughing and playing and watching the kids, and gymboree lady takes a break! Puts her feet up! Sips her coffee!
Oh well. At least I had fun. I was doing that thing where you roll the hula hoop and then run and dive through it while it's still rolling. The kids thought I was a major degree of awesome, and they even joined in the fun. I would make a heck of a gymboree teacher, let me tell you.
More Q & A! From Andrea:
What made you decide to do a blog? How do you make it look like such awesomeness?
First, I'll answer about the cosmetics of my blog. It's all just editing the HTML code in the template section of Blogger. How did I learn how to do that? Through many Google searches and trial and error. Everything you see that I've done to my blog, I learned from the internet. From backgrounds to font styles and colors to headers and links... I just learn as I go. I was able to create my last couple of headers in Photoshop and then I figured out how to get them on my blog via image hosting and HTML. This current header was a template I found on istockphoto that I edited using a Vector program (Adobe Illustrator).
In short, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING.
Now, to answer why I started to blog:
I decided to start blogging after Ezra was about 14 months old and I had been living in Oklahoma for a few months. I was feeling lonely and hadn't yet met any of the cool moms I know now. I remember spending days without leaving the house because I didn't know where to go in this new, strange town, and it was just easier to stay home. Also, we only had one car for awhile, so I couldn't get around very easily and I wasn't in a place where I could just call someone up and ask for a ride somewhere.
ANYWHO- I was searching the internet for advice on how to do something with Ezra... I think it was weaning him from a bottle- and I stumbled into the Magic Wardrobe of Blogging. I remember being SO DANG EXCITED to know that there were women out there who were being honest about their struggles as new moms, and writing about the journey as they went. I couldn't get enough. I was hooked. I felt instant community and companionship with these women. So, within a week of that, I'd launched my own blog.
Ever since then, I have found myself to be more in-tune with my emotions and thought processes than I ever have been in the past. Something about writing daily through my battles and desires has sorted out the jumbled mess that was in my brain before. I used to feel like I was seriously crazy. Like there were a million different emotions and unfinished thoughts trapped inside my body and any little thing could trigger an explosion. I didn't know who I was. I thought I was a horrible mother and wife. I couldn't verbalize my emotions to Chris or anyone else and would get SO frustrated with myself that I would freak out inside and just want the ground to open up under my feet and swallow me whole.
There's a lot of different things that have brought me to the place I'm at today... of course, it's not just blogging that has helped me feel more grounded... It's a combo of things. But, I attribute a LOT of my progress to writing in this medium. I always loved to journal, but I was never consistent at it, and I had a really hard time looking a white sheet of paper in the face and spilling my honesty and authenticity onto it. There's something about knowing that another woman out there may be reading my words and connecting to what I'm saying and feeling less lonely because she can know that there is at least ONE OTHER PERSON in this world that is like her and that means she's not crazy... It's what keeps me writing.
I wanted to be a writer when I was a little girl. I dreamed of it and tried to baffle people with my overreaching poems about world peace and nature. I tried to evoke deep, raw emotions from people with my (dark) stories of the little boy dying tragically or the girl who lost her parents and was suddenly alone in the world. I got frustrated with my inability to really move people with my words, and so I gave up on it for a really long time. I quit.
This, to me, is like picking up that part of me again that I let drop to the floor so long ago. This is like finally feeling whole again.
Next Question is from jsm:
What kind of camera do you have?
First of all- Hi, jsm! You are not stalkerish! You are wonderful-ish!
I have a Canon PowerShot A630. It works great! I always mess with my photos and edit them in iPhoto. (Macs RULE.) I would really like to get a nice, professional grade digital camera some day (Like a canon Rebel or something) because I have a vintage clothing store that I run on the side, and I'd really like to take it to the next level with the photography and design of the whole thing. I think it has mega potential.
Last Question, from Hope and JoJo's mommy:
WHEN ARE YOU WRITING A BOOK?
Eeek! Scary! I really, really would love to someday, but there's a part of me that thinks the whole 'book writing' thing is completely over saturated and unobtainable for me right now. There's a gajillion people like me out there who are trying to get their memoirs and life stories published... I just don't think that I have anything very unique or fresh to lay on the table at this point in my life. Maybe in the future I will... maybe not. I think if the time is right for me to pursue that goal, I will know it. My more immediate desire is to write a children's book. I've got some good ideas, and my brother Jaxon just happens to be the most amazing artist on God's Green Earth, so... I've got that going for me.