If you've been reading this blog for a little while, you may recall my past ramblings about how horribly awful my teeth are. If you are a new reader, let me tell you something... my teeth are HORRIBLY AWFUL.
The latest tooth drama started this past Thursday when I woke up with a throbbing toothache on the right side of my mouth. By the time I got around to calling my dentist, it was Friday AM and his office was closed for the weekend. Needless to say, this made for one extremely long weekend full of pain medicine and mushy bananas because I couldn't chew much else.
I planned to call the office first thing Monday morning, but I was awakened that morning by throbbing pain again- only this time it was coming from the LEFT side of my face. WHAT?! It moved! I made my appointment for later that day, and by the time I got into the dentist's office, the pain had moved AGAIN. Now it was coming from one of my eye teeth near the front of my mouth. I had never experienced anything like this before- I was having 3 toothaches all at once. It was like my teeth all got together and decided on a mutiny while I was sleeping one night. They all attacked at once and knocked me flat onto the couch where I held my face in my hands and whined INCESSANTLY for hours and days upon end. I think Chris went and bought some high-end ear plugs to ease his pain, and unfortunately I think Ezra has picked up a pointer or two on 'HOW TO BE RELENTLESSLY ANNOYING VIA INCESSANT GROANING AND MOANING WHILE HOLDING FACE.'
So, my dentist looks in my mouth and I'm watching his face to see the horrified look I just know he's going to shoot at his assistant when he peers into my cavern of decay, but instead he holds it together and orders a round of X-rays. After looking at the X-rays and listening to a condensed version of the weekend's INCESSANT MOANING AND GROANING, he informes me that I am in need of 4 more root canals.
That's not a typo.
As in, more than any single person has ever needed at the same time since the dawn of time FOUR.
Oh, and also? Each root canal needs a crown after that. Including the last two root canals I had that didn't get crowns on them before due to the fact that our insurance told us they wouldn't cover squat until our policy was in place for 6 months. So, if you'll do the math with me here, that's a total of 6 crowns. 4 root canals + 6 crowns + 6 months of insurance payments with no coverage to show for them = MUCH RED INK for the Family transaction records.
I'm hoping the root canal I get today will take away the majority of the pain because I have a vacation ahead of me in about two days, and I don't want my first solo retreat to be filled with constant weeping and gnashing of teeth. (I understand the description of hell in the Bible now: it's abscessed teeth.)
In the meantime, I'm thinking I'll give this guy a call.