August 3, 2011

I Almost Died in a Tar Pit.



The one and only thing that I can say I am enjoying about this ridiculous heat wave falls somewhere along the lines of "Misery loves company".

I have always hated the heat. I have always dreaded the Summer. I have never liked the feeling of the sun blaring down on my skin. It gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it! bleeegweee!!

I have felt entirely alone in this sentiment for all the years that I can ever remember.

Whenever I would mention the fact that I, ahem, *strongly* disliked the sun, people would balk. They would stare aghast and ask how on earth I could not love the Summer...

What about the pool days?
The beach days?
The sun bathing?
The tank tops and shorts and flip flops?
The ice cream trucks??

No. no. no. no. yes.

I could write passionately about how much I have always disliked the heat and how my very soul seems to wake up and sing when it is cold or overcast or rainy or snowing, but I will spare you my soap-boxy long-windedness.

All I can say is that this heat wave has suddenly made me feel like a whole lot less of an outsider. It has been the hottest two months on record for this state, and we are smack dab in the middle of the worst drought in 90 years. We've had 68 days straight of higher-than-norm temps. It's drier than the dust bowl days here, folks! And just today? It was 113 degrees and my flip flop stuck to the pavement when I hopped out to get Ezra from school.

THE TAR IS MELTING. Hide yo dinosaurz.



Every thing is brown. Everything is miserable. Everyone is grouchy. Yet somehow, I find myself... smirking inside.

It seems that all everyone wants to talk about these days is how awful the heat is. And all I can do is try not to nod so hard that my head falls off and smile and emphatically agree.

It takes all that I have in me not to yell at the top of my lungs, "I TOLD YOU HEAT WAS EVIIIIIIL!!!!!" and dive head-first into the nearest ice box. Or ice cream truck.

Misery may love company, but she also loves her Rocket Pops.

*Slurp*

12 comments:

my long and winding road said...

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!! I didn't think I would ever find anyone who shared my passion of loathing the heat and the summertime. DREADing when June arrives every single year...leaping for joy in October! and landing on pure happiness when the first snow arrives and even welcoming the ice storms. yes mam, NOW they all understand what we have been trying to tell them!!!

Jessi said...

Yep!! I'm from Vegas and now live in Texas. I hate summer. Never have liked it.. even when I lived in San Diego. I CANNOT wait for fall!!!

Laura said...

Summer haters unite!! Everybody thinks I'm nuts because winter is my favorite season - always has been, always will be.

bandofbrothers said...

haha, your monster caption is priceless. you are so hilarious. i feel for you, i really do. although I personally have grown accustomed to the heat, i think 113 would feel oppressive for even the most jubilent of heat lovers. I had a friend who would get a migraine just knowing there was heat outside. sadly, she moved far away from me and lives in cooler temps.

Rachael said...

Emery! You made me guffaw at my desk looking at that drawing! And you're so right... it's pretty satisfying to have people overdoes on something you've never been a fan of.

Chicago Mom (Heather) said...

Girl... You gotta move yourself outta of the South!! Come on up here to the North! We got lots of dreary days and long cold springs. Things didn't warm up here until a month ago and now our summer is almost over!

Rebekah said...

I completely agree. I have never liked the summer, the sun, etc. It hurts my eyes, it's hot, uncomfortable, etc. I love the rain, the fog, the clouds -- that's why I live in Oregon! 9 months of rain all year. I hide inside in the summer and ignore it until September arrives!

eBirdie said...

You are not alone. I've wilted in the sun and the heat since I was a wee one. Nothing makes me grouchier than a glaringly sunny, boilingly hot day. Except maybe a whole long string of them....

Anonymous said...

I hate the heat as well. Summer is my least favorite season. I'm jealous that you have snow in the winter.

Nikki said...

Hilarious! Yes, let's run to Alaska. Gather the kids and the hubbys. Here we go. Lets be Eskimos for a few months!

Katy said...

hahaha! I love this post. My body does NOT handle heat well at all and I'm sure the very sight of the 105 degree temperatures would make me melt into a puddle on the ground. for sure. Hope it gets cooler! blah!

kirida said...

Oh man, my body doesn't handle heat well at all and I grew up on a tropical island. Yow.