April 29, 2011


hat- burlington coat factory
jacket- thrifted
shirt- charliehall.com
pants- Ross
Shoes- dolce vida

It's so windy here today that your skin would blow away if you weren't hugging it onto your body. Ezra and Myer had school today, so I tried to go to a clothing store by my house and spend some store credit that I have had there for months, but of course Truman was fussing the WHOLE time I was inside the store until he promptly calmed down and fell asleep the second I gave up and left. haha. I swear, even at this age, they know. They may not know their own hand from a wall, but they know when mama wants a moment to shop, ohyestheydo.

Chris and I had not been communicating very well the past few weeks, and it was seriously like watching a car roll slowly towards a cliff. It was OBVIOUS where it was going to end up, but we just kept right on watching. Thankfully we finally snapped out of it and pulled the emergency brake. We said all that needed to be said, and now it feels like we are on the same team again.

*Insert deep cleansing breath here*

Isn't it amazing how often it feels like we are on the opposing team of our husbands? The ONE person in the world whose team we voluntarily stood up and swore to fight for till death do us part? Maybe it's just me and my stubborn, prideful heart, but I find myself in a different colored jersey WAY too often.

Yet, I know God is changing me. (It has been a S L O W change, but that's only because of my own stiff neck.) When I look back on the wife I was seven years ago, I feel a little bit proud of the work God has done in me so far. I know that I have about a bajillion years worth of things left to learn, but I trust that God can get me to where I need to be if I would just stop trying to protect myself all the time... if I would just let Him get closer than an arm's length to my heart.

Aaaaaanywho... I learned how to play my favorite Ray Lamontagne song on the guitar this afternoon ("Empty") and now that's all that I want to do... for ever and ever... but there are all these children that need to be bathed and lotioned and jammied and brushed and read to and tucked in and sang to and it's just me here tonight because Chris is out DJ-ing a fashion show this evening. (how glam!)

Once the little ones are in bed I am going to have a glass of wine, take a bath, play guitar a bit, and then watch some more Cosby Show on Netflix. I am so addicted to that show right now, it's kind of insane. I think I am going to weep when I click on the final episode... it will feel like a part of my family has been canceled. hahaha.

peace out, yo.


Chelsea said...

love it.

beca said...

I love that shirt you're wearing and your kids are too cute!!

Anonymous said...

I read your blog all the time but never comment.
Anywho, I'm getting married in three weeks and what you said about being on the same team really hit me. It may seem simple or obvious but because of my night and it's happenings, your lesson was profound truth and realization to me. So thanks for sharing that :)
Also , my fiancé's name is Truman and we've only met a few in our lifetime times so it was cool/interesting to see you named your son that. I'm curious to how you picked it...

Jessi said...

Love this outfit.

Hilary said...

after my first was born I watched the entire cosby show (I had been given the boxed set as a gift)! it was totally my detox the day away indulgence. love it.

Anonymous said...

beautiful life.

Sara said...

sooooo consider this my attempt at setting the record for length of time reading a blog without commenting. I have been reading your blog daily since Ezra was a little tiny baby. I knew Chris from the Roberts St. days in Reno and I found your blog and the stalking began. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us (even the hard stuff). Your children are beautiful and to this day I covet Ezra's eyelashes from his baby stage. =)

KillerB said...

Ahhh the wisdom and humor of Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable-- brilliance indeed. (Soak it in, Emery, soak it in!)

Catherine Gikas said...

well said Emery. I am in FULL agreement. Sounds like you have been spying on Ryan and I ;0

eBirdie said...

I find it amazing to look back at the beginning of my marriage too. There's nostalgia, of course, but when I think of the people we were then and how we struggled with each other and how we handled conflict and challenge, I'm so glad to be where we are now. The team only keeps getting stronger if you play the game right! (And have the right coach.)

Rachael said...

Love the update. You're a doll. Your family is gorgeous. I love reading about you overcoming your struggles because they either are things I'm in the thick of or things I can easily see myself in the thick of in the near future.