November 23, 2010


CareBear stare!

It seems like you always hear people talk about how incredibly difficult the transition from one to two children is, but I didn't find it to be all that problematic. The transition was very smooth and I kept waiting for the "Just You Wait" bomb to drop on my head, but it just never did.

In preparing myself for this third baby, however, I am feeling a wee bit anxious. I can not even stress to you all enough how NICE it was having a four year old by the time our second child came along. Ezra was potty trained! He was in preschool three days a week! He slept all night long with no interruptions! And he knew how to entertain himself well, playing with toys or computer games when I had my hands full with witty bitty Myer! It was GREAT. Peaceful, even.

But when I think of this new baby coming in just four short months, I can't help but feel that the "Just You Wait" bomb that I somehow avoided the first time around is on it's way- and right on target.

I am not naturally an anxious person, so this thought of "what is this going to BE like- a two year old AND a squeaky newborn at the same time??" feels like a weight that just won't go away, and probably won't go away until I am standing knee deep in the reality of it all.

Maybe everything will go smoothly again and all these fallout drills are for nothing!

I am a firm believer that your attitude can ultimately shape your experiences- meaning that if you enter into a situation with tons of expected anxiety and stress, your experience is more than likely going to be... stressful and full of anxiety! But if you enter into things with an attitude that believes the best until proven wrong, and even then is committed to just letting things go when there is no use clinging to them like deflated lifeboats, you are more likely to have a good experience.

So... basically... now I've gotten myself into this pickle of being all worried about BEING WORRIED and the subsequent WORRY that it will likely cause in the future.


Welcome to my head.

Tis' a silly place.

I think what I need is a good, old fashioned pep-talkin' to get my thoughts out of this worry-go-round.

So, tell me, all of you out there with kids who were a mere two years apart: How dost one surviveth? Is this worry largely unwarranted?


Ashley said...

I'll be honest and say it might be harder than the last time. But with a big brother (6yr old?) to help with fetching diapers and keeping your two year old occupied it wont be that bad.

My girls are exactly 2 years apart and it's doable. I was lucky enough to have potty trained my daughter before the baby came and She mostly ignored her little sister until she was 4 months old. Having a baby strapped to my chest has made parenting the "two's" a bit more difficult but I saw that coming.

Try not to stress. Like anything else it will get easier with time. Best of luck.

Photo Freak said...

I thought it was easy. But time will tell. youll do amazing!

Danae said...

You'll do great Emery! God would not have given you number three so soon if He thought otherwise! (sorry I have no experience with close babies to give you my thoughts on that...)

ashleigh said...

My kids are 1 year and 20 days apart!! But I only have 2... so.... Im not brave enough to go for 3! I wish you good luck and Im sure it wont be as scary as it may seem!

Rachel said...

Hi Emery! I have 2 kids, 19 months apart. Granted, I didn't have a third older child, but it was great with a 19 month old and a babe. My daughter was young enough not to care, get jealous, etc....she has loved her brother from day one and they are so close. She even brought him for show and tell recently (they are now 3 and 2).

Don't stress, your family loves each other, and that will get you through even the hardest times.

Anonymous said...

I got my first two in one shot, and I always heard that adding #3 is only hard if you consider yourself outnumbered. My husband is in the military, so I've been outnumbered since day 1! Adding #3 has been easy breezy. You'll be great! ;)

Christina said...

Ok so I have a 5 year old a 4 y/o, an 2 y/o and a 6 month old. -All girls by the way.

The first 2 are 16 months apart. The last 2 are 17 months apart.
So I've done the not having a kid out of diapers before I pop another one out thing. And I want to encourage you it is NOT all that bad at all! You have a great husband and it's all about communication and team work.
And to be honest my transition from one to two was much harder than my transition from 2 to 3. For some reason going from one kid to two was hard. But 2 to 3 totally do-able. You got this girl!
Oh and one last thing, just ask God every morning to make you the mommy he has called you to be to your soon to be 3 babies :)-He is faithful.

manda said...

I have 3 boys. Ages 4, 2.8, and 6 months. I found going from one to two, pretty easy-peasy. Going from two to three, a lot harder. Someone once told me that you are going to find one transition harder than the rest, so I guess this was mine. I actually had a harder time dealing with my 4 year old in the transition than my 2 year old - he was always just happy in his own world for the most part. There were some days when I thought I wouldn't make it till five o'clock (=daddy home, hooray!), but you will amaze yourself at what you can do! Biggest help is a helpful husband, and it sounds like you have that covered! ;)

Anonymous said...

my kids are 3, 1 1/2, and 6 weeks and i don't think it's that hard. of course i have those days where i think "what the heck was i thinking" but i really wouldn't worry at all.
you will do fine and just don't be afraid to ask for help.

Anonymous said...

my kids were farther apart, but I would say the 3rd does add a different dimension to mommyhood - I found it harder than going from 1 to 2 kids.

one of the things my middle guy loved when I had to focus on the baby was books on tape - he would sit and read his book next to me. I also used naps to my full advantage to focus on the other kids when I could and take out the non baby safe toys!!!

you'll do fine!

thedirtyknitter said...

I'm in the same boat as you - my son will be 24 months by the time baby #2 makes his/her appearance...and I don't know how we'll figure it out - but we will. That's what we do I guess! good luck!

amy said...

emery, you will be just fine! already having 5 kids, i had a baby when my youngest were two year old twins. so, two year old twins and a newborn. it was fine. really, everything falls into place, and the kids get it. the twins got it. they just fell in love with baby, and were okay not being baby anymore. god gives us these kids at just the right times, and if we are okay with that and we are relaxed, the kiddos follow suit. it will be great.

Anonymous said...

Transitioning to two kids was pretty easy for me, but I am terrified of three. Absolutely tie-my-tubes terrified!

Lil Muse Lily said...

i don't have advice to give you. just good wishes and tell you that agree. if you stress, you create stress. try not to stress.
i can't believe the baby will be here in 4 months already. that was fast!
happy thanksgiving!

ps- my word verification is jackeezi. lol. that's funny.

Olivia said...

It was hard. But you seem a lot more grounded than I was when my second came along (22 months after the first). But, I had some great advice that helped me out of the pickle. Someone told me to make some kind of schedule for my oldest, and boy, was she right on target! The oldest felt like the baby had disrupted her life and was giving everyone heck because of it. When I started saying things like "It is our coloring time!" or even, "It's momma's vacuuming time!" at similar times from week to week, she knew what to expect and slowly accepted the fact that the second was a part of our family. I don't know if that helps you, but it sure helped us!

Mama said...

Okay...Loved it. My girls are just 3 days shy of 2 years apart. My brothers and I are all less than 2 years apart in between each. LOVE. It is the only way I would do it again. I think it would probably be "easier" if they were a larger distance, but the are each others and will be each others playmates. Tallulah did great when Sophia came. She completely understood it. We didn't have "sharing or jealousy" issues at ALL! She was a helper and was a part of it. She is better with her sister than I could imagine.
now...teaching and training and guiding a child's heart, attitude and lack of communication made some day wearing on top of the sleep deprivation from the new baby. Trying to balance everyone's attention on, was difficult, but not the end of the world. Be apart of a small group or bible study and maintain communication with the husband= KEY to the whole thing! I am praying for you and you SO got this HUNNY!

Tulsa Court said...

so cute,my kids really like these pics..nice posting.

leslie said...

"Just you wait!"

On a whole lot more love to come your way and an awesome ride... that is what you are WAITING for.

Terese said...

Make sure you have a double stroller for the two youngest and Ezra can walk beside you holding on. Let the two youngest take their naps together as much as possible. Cook up meals in advance for the freezer once a week like spaghetti sauces, lasagne, stews, kids chicken casserole. Don't worry about the housework it can wait. Get Chris to do essential washing of clothes. Accept offers of babysitting from friends. Enjoy the chaos of it all and the love. This is what I learnt at the three kids mark for what it's worth.

Emery Jo said...

okay, so I feel SOOOO much better after reading through all of your input!! Sometimes it just helps to be reminded that people have had babies close together and lived to tell the tale! haha. Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences with me...

Widge said...

There are pros and cons to all age gaps. My first two are 2 yrs 2 months apart and yes it was full on but I knew no different, next time round I had a 3 year 3 month gap, easy in some sense that they understand a bit more but I found it more busy as I was running around all over the show with a 5 year old in school and 3 yr old in kindy while trying to work around the new I had a 20 month gap and she was a cruisey baby so THAT made all the difference.
My only piece of advice is to go easy on yourself during this time. lower your expectations of what you want to accomplish yourself and of the rest of your family members. And I thoroughly do not recommend trying to potty train while you have a new born. Just does. not. work! and stresses Everybody out. (I learnt this one from experience. Keep in mind how little your other children still are. Sometimes it's so easy to see them so bigger all of a sudden when the new one is born (I was a shocker for this)only now when I look back I realise I should have chilled so much more.
you will do brilliantly xo