November 29, 2009

Prideful Fear.



I switched over from the classic blogger template to the newer version last night and only had about three nervous meltdowns in the process. {Go team me!} I had to recreate this website from scratch in the wee hours of the morning and while I was tweaking it and trying to salvage all those years of shoddy patchwork HTML coding, I just kept thinking of the few of you who might be checking my site at that moment and going blind from the horrendous hodge-podge that smacked you in the face instead of the nice, calming, neutral toned blog you'd come to expect here.

The good news: Now the site is much easier to maintain and also much easier to browse. Oh- and while I'm on clean up duty round these parts, let me know if there's anything else you'd like to see here or any ideas you have that would make this blog better. Things are still a bit wonky in places and will need to be messed with over time, so be patient with me, but please let me know if you see anything that is a little bit (or a LOT bit) 'off'.

Thank'ee kindly!

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Switching gears....  This morning at church I was hit with some gnarly revelations about pride and the fact that when I stew in anxiety and fear and worry, I am saying that I don't trust God and by not trusting God I am saying that I think I can handle things better than He can, and, when it comes down to it,  these things are really just PRIDE all gussied up in sheep's clothing.
5 Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Humility = Casting your cares on HIM.

So... conversely:

Pride = Not casting your cares on Him.

I had never thought about anxiety in that light before. It was like everything suddenly clicked and it made even more sense why I shouldn't go around living in fear of every single little thing the media tells me I should be terrified of. (lookout!!!  behind that tree!! germs! kidnappers! stretch marks!)

I think that a lot of times we believe that our constant anxiety and fear about things that we ultimately can't control make us better somehow.  Almost... righteous.  It becomes almost like this comfort thing... like we find our identity and worth on this earth within that fear rather than God Himself.  They become identity-stealing distractions.

God has been speaking to me so much lately about my roles as a woman and wife and mother and child and I was so blessed this morning to realize that at the root of every fear of mine, there is pride. I love learning how endlessly deep God's Words are when you stop and sink down in them a bit.  It HELPS me to know that this is where some of this stuff is coming from.  It helps me know how to pray (for myself) and find the deep down cause of some of the stuff I worry about all the time.

I want to be ever growing and changing and learning new things about God and his words.  I could learn a new thing about Him every second of every day and still only scratch the surface of all that He is.

I was so glad to be reminded of that this morning- that no matter how long I've known Him and walked with Him and studied His words...

I will never come to the end of Him.

Hallelujah.

11 comments:

Widge said...

I think your blog looks fab. I love your header. I know how panicked you feel, I lost my old layout that I loooooved recently and have had a major bad time trying to sort out something new. I'm not happy with mine at all...

that sermon sounds great. I can identify with those feelings too and have never realised that it's root comes from pride. lots to think about...thanks . Loving your blog. so glad I found you :)

sufferingsummer said...

amen.

PaisleyJade said...

I totally identify with what you are saying!

Your blog looks amazing by the way.

claire said...

Blog looks great as usual. I noticed just one awkward design thing - the avatars for comments and links under the post are too much pushed to the edge of the lighter field.

Oh and I´m looking forward to the new header for 2010 :-D

Carbo1021 said...

Thank you for the great reminder. It is a wonderful way to start the week.

Anonymous said...

I find when I am most stressed out that I hum "humble thyself" without even knowing it.

Christina said...

I can SO relate. I have been dealing with fear stuff and God keeps asking me...am I not enough for you?
It's a slap in the face to God, me not trusting Him.
Great post, thanks for sharing!

Erin said...

It took me almost a year to learn that when I was full of worry and fear I was just telling Jesus that I didn't trust him. I finally know that he is bigger than all of my stupid fears and worries. I'm so happy that he is! Thanks for posting this. People need to be reminded of this.

Anonymous said...

I like the calm feeling of the blog, it looks a bit like toast.

I thought about pride all day yesterday and about trusting God. I am 10 weeks pregnant and I have a ton of worries, it just feels so much better to pray about it and trust I am being heard.

Anonymous said...

beautiful post. Some suggestions I have for your blog..post 5 days a week and look into adsense. I can't be the only freak to check your blog everyday, multiple times a day, I would love to see more posts. You are a good role model for young, hip, imperfect yet still Christian mommies.

Chicago Mom said...

Wow - that was so well put. I never thought about my worry-wart ways in that light before...

I'm new to your blog and I love it. You are indeed a good role model. Not preachy but your message comes across and is appreciated.