August 3, 2009


Myer fell asleep at 5:00 tonight and shows no signs of waking. Ezra passed out on the couch at 6:30, and is now sleeping soundly in his bed. Chris is working late tonight. The house is mine, the house is quiet, and I am feeling like it is no coincidence. I feel like it is all carefully orchestrated so that I can sit and be still and hear God speak this to my tired heart:

"Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness
and who seek the Lord:

Look to the rock
from which you were cut
and to the quarry from which
you were hewn;

look to Abraham, your father,
and to Sarah, who gave you birth.
When I called him, he was but one,
and I blessed him and made him many.

The Lord will surely comfort zion
and will look with compassion on all her ruins;
He will make her deserts like Eden,
her wastelands like the garden of the Lord.

Joy and gladness will be found in her,
thanksgiving and the sound of singing."

isaiah 51

Passages like this cause me to feel like I'm valued, protected, and sought after.

And it is so good to be reminded of my worth. To look up at the rock from which I was cut... To know the strength of my source! The power of who I am, right now this very moment.

I can't stand another minute of actually being a strong boulder, yet acting like (and believing I am) nothing more than a dirt clod.

Doesn't it feel that way? Like we're a world full of dirt clods- crumbling under the slightest pressure and unable to bear up under the slightest weight? What has brought us to this place?

LOOK UP to the ROCK from which you were cut.

Start acting like a thing of solidarity, of substance. Stop acting like a congealed mass who is at the mercy of every storm and gust of wind!

Remember who you are.

You are the daughter of a Nation-Builder. The Rock of all Ages. The Ancient of Days. You don't need to fear what anyone thinks of you, or any threat that can be launched against you. Where are the risk takers? The stand makers? The Ones who will not be washed away?

Step into your rightful skin! Lift your chin and wear joy and gladness like a form-fitting gown... like it is tailored for you and suits you. Adorn yourself with humble authority that comes from knowing the truth. Live with squared shoulders and eyes that seek justice.

Know your worth and defend it.

We need more sure-footed women in this world. Just as the men are being called out and exhorted to lead, we women need to be called out and exhorted to dignity and strength of character. Women who refuse to alter themselves at every whim and wish of those around them... at every latest fad or magazine article or fear-mongering ploy.

If we waste our lives chasing after the things the world says we must be or have or look like, we will find ourselves at the end... bitter and empty-handed, standing in a desert that could have been a garden of life.

photo here.


MoMar said...

This is beautiful Emery. Last night I watched the 'Trail of Hope', a PBS documentary on the 22 year migration of the Mormons to Utah. Whoa, these were strong women. Some of them could not afford wagons and oxen, so they WALKED the entire way from Ilinois to Utah, only stopping briefly to eat, sleep and give birth. All in the name of reaching Zion, so that they might worship according to the desires of their hearts without being hounded and prosecuted. In their journals, they were graceful and appreciative of the opportunity to do this ! I'm pathetic compared to these women.

Chelsea Robbins said...

That's a good word. Thank you.

Annie Peterson said...

Oh, Emery, WHAT A POST! I love it to pieces. Suzanna and I were just talking yesterday about how we are called to "robust" living as Christians...not sorrowful meager survival. The Rock from which we are hewn...He defines us.

sufferingsummer said...

I like to think of us all (strong, dignified and truth seeking women) standing together in that kind of strength on that ROCK...I truly believe that God made us for this and to exhort this in other are doing just that in writing this post and it is powerful.

thank you.

Amanda said...

I must say-

I'm not very religious. I guess I'd fall under Universalism if you wanted to label my beliefs...BUT your way with words when it comes to your faith are very inspiring.

Amanda said...

Thank you for your words. I found your blog through a friends and have been following for a while, though I'm not a frequent commenter. I truly appreciate your honesty, in all posts, and this post resonates deeply within me. God is my Father, and my strength comes from Him. But I have been living like a dirt clod. Oh, how I feel like a dirt clod.

I know, deep within that this is not how God meant me to live, almost fearful of waking in the morning. It's ridiculous. I have a wonderful life; a life I wouldn't trade anyone for, but sometimes it gets to me. I have no moment to myself, and I haven't in months... and I'm an introvert. I'm about to go absolutely postal, and there is no end or break in sight. It just keeps getting busier.

So, thank you for the reminder that I am cut from rock. That my strength is not my own feebleness, but my everlasting Savior's.

Anonymous said...

What a powerful post. It touched my heart deeply. Thank you for putting your faith out on display for us as your readers.

Anonymous said...

Your thoughts reflect a woman trapped at home, with not much to think about whilst her husband builds a career. Your previous posts are all the same... me, me, me. You come across as someone looking for meaning again and again. Although we all have periods of reflection, your comments make me think you are just bored.

Anonymous said...

Although it may sound harsh, I do agree with the previous comment. Emery, I have been reading your blog for a while and I am worried that you may be a bit 'stuck'. As a mother of three children, I remember when they were very young and, although it was a very fulfilling and rewarding time, it could also be lonely and isolating. I went on to have a very successful and rewarding career - whilst being the best mother I could be. Find meaning where you can, but sometimes it is more about action and less reflection!

Emery Jo said...

oh heck, peeps. if you don't want to read about 'me' then you are in the wrong corner of the internet. hahaha. (it's not rocket science.)

I've come waaay too far in the last couple of years to put much stock into what you're saying about me being 'stuck' or 'bored'. If you want to see what a 'stuck' and 'bored' emery is like, go back a couple of years into the archives. (seriously.)

It was not pretty then. And, okay, I don't doubt that it's not pretty now, either. But I love to write and I love to think and I love to challenge myself, so if you don't like that, it's no problem! Just move right along.

I wouldn't retract a word of what I've written here. Ever! The words I've been able to form on this blog have been nothing but healing for me and my entire family.

If that's hard for you to understand, that's fine!

I love my life. I'm happier than I've ever been before. I don't apologize for who I am or what I write or who you happen to perceive me to be through that writing.

But, thanks for your concern, anyhow!

Anonymous said...

Seems to me that you don't like to be challenged. As long as 'your world' runs within four little walls - you're happy. Have you travelled? Have you lived in other countries? Have you had a career? What are your achievements outside of your family? I am not asking you to 'apologise for who you are' (how melodramatic). What I am questioning is that you constantly seek answers in the bible and, to be fair, there is much wisdom to be found there. But, look around you, explore the big wide world. You haven't got it all sorted! What you have done is created a crutch for yourself - everything comes back to religion. But there should be far more balance in the way we live our lives.

I live in New York, have three children and a loving husband. But that's all I want 'strangers' to know about me. If you want to broadcast your life and beliefs on the internet, then be prepared for a mix of reactions. To me, you need to expand your horizons and move out of your comfort zone.

Emery Jo said...

fisrt off, i know exactly who this is and i know you don't live in new york. (jo.)

does my happiness bother you that much?

we've gone over this before: if you don't want to read about my beliefs you don't have to! The only one who loves drama here is you, and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop leaving comments like this on my blog.

If you want to talk about it further, that's fine with me- my email address is emerybored at aol dot com.

I'm fine with being challenged, because I know who I am and it doesn't bother me. But if you're going to challenge me about the same things over and over again, just email me personally, okay?


becca said...

Emery, I think you are wonderful and I love reading your blog. :)

Julesmcg said...

I thought that this was a beautiful, insightful post and a window into what God is teaching you right now. Isn't it amazing that the creator of the universe desires to reach down to us and meet us where we need Him most. Thank you for this. I have been needing this lately. It is a good reminder.
Remain confident in who you are...a child of the King.

Stella and Thomas said...

Emery- I read your blog all the time and I have never thought that you sounded 'bored' or 'stuck' fact, you continue to inspire me. Honestly, I have traveled and have had a successful career but what has really challenged me is raising my children and being CONTENT with my world as it is right now.

Andrea Johnson said...

Thanks for always thinking and sharing!

Eric and Tara said...

Wowsers. Why do people choose to leave ugly comments but don't have the kahonas to leave their names??
Anyway, I read and love your blog and really admire the honesty and transparency that you aren't afraid to show. I love that you go deeper than surfacey things and challenge yourself to be a stronger wife, mother and Godly woman. Woot, woot.

skylana said...

Hahah, oh Emery. Sorry you have to deal with this kind of stuff on your blog too! I can't believe that even happens to you! Pretty much everything you say is so sweet! I'm used to crazy people feeling like they know who i am because they see tiny glimpses in what i write. (but also my blog can get pretty wild). People think they know things when they really have no idea that they are only getting a tiny view and its skewed by their OWN perspective sometimes! If 'anonymous' wants to read about a trapped mom she can run right over to my blog and comment away, i can take those harsh words and spit them right back out on the ground. I REALLY know you and i have NEVER had that impression of you... and i admire you. Don't listen to people saying "oh well if you want to broadcast your life on the internet expect mixed opinions". I mean yea, we'll get mixed opinions but also people should try not to be shit heads. If they only knew how many people wrote to us telling us how much our writing inspires them and how much they need it... right? Maybe they wouldn't trip so much.... We're not writing for the crazies. When people write things like this to me i always think about how their lives must be so crazy boring or unhappy that they have to meddle in mine to get some high. And one last thing, you know how i feel about religion and the bible but i would never suggest that you finding happiness in that is a crutch! Anyone who would, in my opinion is so bitter that they can't have peace with the fact that others believe different things than them and find happiness elsewhere.

love love LOVE you.

oh p.s. that lady's grammar was awesome. she comes across so um... intelligent.

candace said...

You know they say that people are annoyed with others only because they are really annoyed with themselves.....don't take it personally....i love your writing and you inspire me to be a better person every day. It sounds to me like she is the one who is bored....why does she read it if she doesn't enjoy it.....some people are sooooo silly! Anyway I love you sister....and YOU MUST keep writing =)

Anonymous said...

Emery - so sad that "anonymous" up there has to try to bring you down because he or she personally is so unhappy! Talk about being "stuck" or "bored"?? Geesh, this person is obviously that; and lets just put it out there a plain old meany!!! We love you so much and I hit your blog usually in the middle of the night when I'm up with one of MY four kiddos, stuck here in my own little four walls, and it is always inspiring or a great shot of TRUTH, which is what I need!! Love you! SHERRY

Hunnybee said...

Emery, I think the fact that you are such a talented writer and have found a place to share your writings with a group of people who appreciate it and relate to your words is wonderful. This is your 'career' so to speak. You HAVE found an outlet and a place of your own, right here in this lil' corner of the interwebs. That's what my blog is to me as well. My little place to explore, delve and share. I may not get paid for it, but it keeps me growing and challenges me in the way I need at this phase of my life.
Keep up the good work dear. Yes, you will have those who challenge you, but so what. That's what makes life interesting. Consider it an opportunity to fine tune your own beliefs. And don't shy away from any battles.
Contrary to what some might think, there is nothing passive about being a SAHM. It is work. That's why babysitters get paid for what they do. Parents have the hardest job in the world and it's no one else's business to tell you what you 'should' be doing with your time.
Blessings to you!

MoMar said...

Obviously you don't need to travel, live in other countries, have a career, live in New York to be impacting many lives positively each day. You are living proof of that. Not everyone has the means to do all of those things and if you did, someone else would be raising your children. Anonymous sounds jealous and mean spirited. Just my opinion. This was a test ! You handled this with DIGNITY, SURE FOOTEDNESS and STRENGTH OF CHARACTER!

joeylear said...

Emery, you have such a beautiful life, a beautiful heart and soul. I love reading about you and your love for your boys. You always inspire me.
Love you!,

Erin said...

How very, very affirming. Surprising. Needed. Thanks.