October 18, 2007

I've Done Something Drastic.

I have done something drastic.

And for those of you who are of the female gender, you know EXACTLY what I'm about to say next.

I cut bangs.

My hair was just, I don't know... BLAH up front. And I figured that Operation: Grow Hair! didn't exactly state that I couldn't cut bangs, it just said I had to grow my hair out long. Which I am totally still doing. In the back.

OhDearGod when I say it that way it sounds as if I have given myself a mullet. Perhaps I have. *hyperventilate*

I know they are ghetto bangs and not the "fancy fringe" I would have gotten had I paid someone to do it for me, but it was completely sporadic and unplanned for. (Harmony, you would have killed me! Heh.) I was looking at this FANTASTIC vintage clothing site on eBay and suddenly decided that I must have heavy bangs. Like, NOW.

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Ack! There's a spider on the wall by my desk! LKJHWG^@ET_)@&*@@(*!!!
It's crawling CLOSEEERRRR TO MEEEEEEEEE!!! I'm now typing while standing up just in case I need to deftly lunge away from its ferocious spider claws.

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Anywho- I chopped the front of my hair off. And now it looks like this:




So far, I love it. My hats look cool again. I can wear scarves in my hair again. And, best of all, it has been hubby approved. He likey mucho.


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Spider Update: It is now climbing up the wall towards my tin sign. From here it looks as if he's hungry for human. Ooooh I hate this spider.

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In other news, we had to call the Roto Rooter guy out because our tub just mysteriously stopped draining yesterday. We've had to call them twice before and every time they come out they ask if they can borrow an old towel. And every single time, they hand the towel back with permanent black sludge all over it. Lovely. You'd think they would have drop cloths or old towels of their own for that sort of thing? I have a new slogan idea for the Roto Rooter Company:

"Roto Rooter. Dirtying precious towels across your city with slimy pipe sludge since 1935."

I'm sorry. Do I look like I own "spare towels"? Every towel that I own is crucial and was probably purchased on sale at Ross for $3.99. Next time? BRING YOUR OWN DANG TOWELS.

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Yesterday we had really weird weather here- there were severe storm alerts all day and tornado watches to boot. We didn't get too much action here, except in the afternoon where within a span of 5 minutes all of this happened:

- (one) HUGE gust of wind. Windows flexed and I gathered Ezra up into the center of the house.
- Sky got darker and it started to rain. No more wind.
- All of a sudden there was ONE loud peal of thunder.
- HAIL. Dime sized. For about 20 seconds.
- Then it stopped completely.
- And became really really sunny outside again.

Craziest 5 minutes ever!

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Third and final spider update: He was attempting the difficult transition from wall to ceiling while I ran to the doorway lest he plunge into my hair. Then I looked up and he was gone. I died a thousand deaths. He'd landed next to my desk on a side table. He sat there for a really long time like he was in shock. I don't blame him at all because he'd just fallen approximately one trillion spider lengths. Now, he is limping around looking all confused and, frankly, I feel sorry for him and am thinking of scooping him up into a nice little spider habitat I'll make inside of a mason jar. I think I'll name him 'Brave Guts'.

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This post reads like a piercing migraine.

Apologies!

Edited to add: I had kept my feet up off of the floor since the spider disappeared because I just knew it would crawl on my foot the second I dropped it to the carpet. After about 15 minutes of this, my foot fell asleep, so I put it down on the ground. I just looked down and the spider was about ONE INCH away from crawling up onto my foot. I have since moved to Alaska, where I'm told spiders are illegal.

19 comments:

Secret Agent Mama said...

OH MRE! I love it!! I think you look fantastic with the bangage!!! And, yes, Mishi overuses the exclamation point It's who I am!!!!!!!!! :D

Love, love, love it~~

Misguided Mommy said...

k seriously enough with the spiders you need to move away from them because you are freaking me the heck out man

love love the hair...was also terrified of mullet

love this post its very funny

Cameron Ingalls said...

yeah.... your hair looks lovely! and why don't you just KILL the spider?! Oh and by the way, Oklahoma Mosquitos are on steroids or something because the bite i have on my back is itchy and swollen and probably killing me slowly.

Morgan said...

Love the hair!!

Talia said...

ok, I know now that I've made myself known to you I am becoming like a comment-crazy stalker-person, but you are so funny I can't help myself! :)
thank you for the laugh today. oh, and your bangs are really very cute.

Andrea June said...

Ok, so I was really scared when you said "mullet," but your hair really looks lovely!!! I wish I had your mad self-haircutting skills :)
Maybe the spider and you should go on a stand-up tour...it sounds like you have a great dynamic ;)

Flo Oakes said...

Cute cute!
Hey, whatever it takes to grow the hair out, go for it...I think it looks great!

R-becca said...

This is my favorite post yet. "I died a thousand deaths" made me laugh out loud.

Gosh I miss just talking to you...but I will see you at Christmas!! eek!

sufferingsummer said...

I laughed out loud when I read the title because I knew exactly what you must have done...I did the same thing to get through the really really boring hair growing process...except I went way shorter on the bangs...just now months later I've got the heavy bangs like yours...it did do wonders for not giving up on the grow out and it looks so lovely on you.

oh and spiders are my hugest phobia...i just almost threw up typing the word...can't imagine dealing with them as much as you have!

anna joy said...

i was lol'ing this whole post, minus the part about your bangs which i LOVE. everyone looks better with bangs I'd wager.

dawn224 said...

Love the bangs. Love.

Hunny Bee May said...

I thought the spiders were bigger in Alaska. Like big snowy forest spiders that wear lumberjack boots and climb mountains in their spare time. Oh what am I mumbling about? I haven't a doggone clue about spiders. But your spider rest home sounds nice. And the name too. I'm sure he would appreciate your efforts to aid in his recovery. That seems like the kind of thing a spider would thank you for, if it could talk.

Bethy said...

Who are you? Seriously...you are freaking hilarious. When does the book come out?

CB said...

I love your bangs! Ok personally I hate bangs, but yours make me so want to grab a scissors. I really need to find my scissors. Do you think they would look as cute on some one with Curly Long hair, as they do on your cute short hair??!?

Hannah said...

Ok your hair is definitely non-mullet-like so that's good news. I love the bangs. I took the plunge a few months ago and love them, just hate havin to get them trimmed every 3 weeks. They grow so stinkin fast. Plus you only have a very small window of goodness. Like too short and it's too emo for me but too long and it's just awkward.

Very cute post!

Anna Ingalls said...

love the post but the whole time i kept thinking.....how could i miss a storm like that?!!! That sounded exciting, next time you should hide in the storm closet...aka the trailer.

Jeninacide said...

You may have just inspired me to get bangs! I haven't cut my hair since before I was pregnant and my BIG FAT HUGE curling iron that was my FOOLPROOF 2 minute styling tool IS BROKEN so my hair is just one LARGE UNRULY MASS OF CURLS. ANd it looks BLAH. AND I keep wondering why my hats and my scarves and my headbands are MISSING that je ne sais quois? Maybe it is BANGS they are missing.. Must Mull THIS OVER!

You look ADORABLE. Oh and now I totally want to buy everything on that vintage sight you linked to. WHY STILL PREGNANT!? WHYY?

Hadara said...

The bangs are amazing!! you know how much of a fan I am of heavy blunt Bettie-Page bangs as I have been wearing them now since age 18, but I love these ones too since you can style them in different ways. I know I have been MIA but still reading and enjoying every second. Those photos Cameron took of Ezra at the piano are BEYOND adorable - you must get prints and frame them!!!

CB said...

Ok I did it too. Thanks for giving me the bug. Check mine out on my blog. http://princesstigerlilyboutique.blogspot.com/2007/10/ahh.html
Thanks
Cassi