July 10, 2007

You Talkin' To Me?

I NEVER get hit on.

I know, I know. I'm married. But, sometimes it makes a girl feel good to get hit on or stared at every once in awhile, you know? I have married friends that get hit on alllll the time. Me? NOPE. I don't think it's ever really happened to me. Not once. Chris and I started dating when I was 16 years old, so I never really 'went out' with my girlfriends to the bar scene or anything.

In fact, the other night I went out to some bars with my friend Amy, and she took me to a couple DIVE BARS that, as she described them, "were full of toothless old men and young sorority girls." As we were entering the second bar, I told Amy that if I didn't get hit on by someone in a bar like this, I WAS GOING TO BE SOOO PISSED.

You can guess what happened. Let's just say it was a humbling experience.

I will admit that I am not the most observant person in the world, so maybe I just don't notice if I'm getting attention. I look at my feet and the pavement right in front of me A LOT. Eye contact makes me nervous. Also, I don't leave my house very often without a toddler clinging to my neck like a rampageous monkey. So, I don't know, maybe that has something to do with it.

Maybe I just give off a super strong "taken" vibe.

Oooor maybe I look like a troll.

Whatever "it" is, it took the night off. Because tonight, at Barnes & Noble, I GOT HIT ON.

Don't get too excited, though. This man? He was older. And not exactly 'attractive'. Alright, allow me to be blunt: He was a creepy weird nerd man. With a strange cowlick on top. But, (oh bless his heart!) he totally tried to work his nerd charm on ME! Meeee!!!

I was sitting in a chair trying to decide between a collection of 'The Greatest American Short Stories of the Century' or 'The Complete Collection of Short Stories by Ernest Hemingway'. (Now who's the nerd?) I finally made up my mind to get the Hemingway book, so I got up to buy it and be on my way. Just as I was leaving, this guy said "Whatcha got there?".

I was taken aback, but smiled and told him it was a collection of short stories.

He asked if I was taking a class, and I told him "No, I just really like short stories" ... yadda yadda yadda bibbity bobbity boo.

A few awkward moments later, and after an even more awkward parting, he went his way and I went mine. It didn't occur to me that I'd just been hit on until I reached my car in the parking lot a few minutes later. I was on top of the world!

Hey! He may have been icky old nerd guy with a weird cowlick on top and glasses that were thicker than a dictionary, but it was something!

Of course, I joke... My husband's loving attention is all I need and more, thankyouverymuch. He makes me feel beautiful every single day, and I'm incredibly thankful for that.

But still, I'm curious... Do any of you get 'hit on' on a regular basis? And if so, what gives?!

I'll bet it was
the new birthday shoes...


Tara Jones said...

it goes in phases for me. sometimes i'm getting the cat calls and the "right kind" of stares. other times i get looks that say "go home. take a shower. try again." maybe it's something i do differently with my hair??

Cameron Ingalls said...

you are my favorite writer!

Kerry said...

I'm like you. I'm pretty oblivious to it if it's even happening.

Flo Oakes said...

All throughout high school I got hit on constantly by pimple faced, bumbling 16 year olds. I think it was cause I was 14 and had boobs...Now, I STILL get hit on by pimple faced bumbling 16 year olds...cause I still look like I'm 14 and now with even bigger boobs, thanks to breastfeeding.
It's gross.

By the way, don't underestimate the power of the nerd charm. It's how Josh got me in the end with all his Mac talk and Star Wars knowledge. Ha ha.

ps-Those shoes are hot.

Anna Joy Photography said...

its not just you, the only time i get hit on, if ever, is by

1) old people, like real old
2) homeless people or punk kids
3) people with mental problems (not trying to be mean, but i'm being absoultely honest...)
4) people that hoot and holler in the dark when I ride my bike.... solely because they don't know what i actually look like.

so i've come to this conclusion, its either a really bad thing, or a really bad thing. or a really good thing, or a really bad thing.

:) / :(


sufferingsummer said...

I used to get hit on all the time, the attention was great, I was constantly being told, "you are just so cute, I wanna take you home in my pocket" and other such witty little tid bits, only problem...they were only from women and I'm not gay. I worked in the gay district in Seattle, so I was sort of asking for it.
Other than that, I was like Flo, young looking with big boobs so I got the old pervy men and the young boys who didn't know any better, now, with a child I get no even second glances but unlike Flo I wasn't left with just bigger boobs, I got the hips, tummy and thighs to go with them so...you know...
Honestly I think it is a confidence thing...when I'm confident, not thinking about how I look and on a mission of my own with no second thought on impressing anyone...that is when it happens.
And just so you know, if I were gay I'd totally hit on you because I don't think you look like a troll at all, I think you are adorable.

kachina said...

The only time I get hit on...is when I'm puking my guts up. Seriously. I don't puke very often, mind you...especially in PUBLIC. But the past handful of times I have, I've gotten hit on. There's just something in the "I'm so vulnerable and lightheaded" look. I wouldn't suggest that, however.

I work at a photo shop and get hit on there but lots of men who are obviously married..."You have the most beautiful smile I've EVER seen!"...I've heard that line sooooo many times. But never by guys who are semi-normal. <3

Misguided Mommy said...

i love being hit on. its so nice to feel like you have still got it

Anonymous said...

Even if I did get hit on, I would never notice. I always just assume people are either being weird or friendly.

Em said...

I am actually quite a flirt, but i think i'm quite big headed with it too. So maybe when i think i've been hit on i havent its just my imagination!

I do think its def a confidence thing tho, the reason i say that is before i was preg, you know before i was a stone in weight heavier, men used to def hit on me more and now i think i have a label that say Wife and Mother BEWARE!

Eva said...

I haven't been hit on in so long.

I actually thought someone was hitting on me in my spring class, but it turned out he was gay and was just being friendly.

It was very disappointing.

Brittany said...

I got hit on once when I was pushing C in his stroller across a parking lot. A car with two guys in it pulled up and yelled, "Hey Mama!"

I was repulsed!

They probably didn't even think I was hot. I bet they were just being mean.... Nah! They totally wanted me! :)

Jeninacide said...

I think I do EXACTLY what you do and give off an "I'm taken let's NOT make eye contact or small talk" vibe. Although I have been hit on a couple of times recently regardless of my attempted VIBES. I guess the guys at my grocery store just like pregnant married chicks.

Karen said...

Did you ever see that episode of King of Queens (yeah, I'm probably the only one that actually still watches it) where the wife gets all upset that the construction workers don't hit on her so her husband walks down to this construction site and pays the guys to whistle and flirt with his wife. She comes home totally happy and on top of the world. You can guess how it ended, but I just thought of that when I was reading your blog. Funny how we as women are so disgusted by men hitting on us but so upset when it stops happening. :)