April 22, 2007

Marriage.


With a new home, you learn (over time) which doors need the extra weight of a knee to shut them completely and you discover where the creaky boards in the floor are lurking only through repetitive trial and error. You eventually determine that FOUR of the light switches on your walls appear to have no purpose what-so-ever, (decorative?) other than to test the very limits of your sanity. There are quirks and subtleties that you can only become familiar with by coexisting with them.

Marriage is the same way. There is a definite learning curve. I had to learn that Chris does not enjoy breakfast in bed. That he needs a good hour or two for his stomach to wake up in the mornings before he can eat a hearty meal. (The poor guy has forced down his share of early AM plates of scrambled eggs before I eventually caught on to this fact.)

I had to learn that he prefers cubed ice over crushed ice, even though it has been all but proven that crushed ice is the ice of the gods... The frozen dewy drops of heaven... The precious crystals that make a Pepsi complete.

I had to learn that dirty dishes left in the sink for too long seem to emit a frequency to my husband's ears like that of nails on a chalkboard.

I have learned that he will never budge nor compromise when it comes to which side of the bed he claims as his own. (I tried to convince him to switch sides with me when we moved into the new house so that he could hide his side-of-the-bed clutter against the wall, but- the right! The right! It MUST be the right!)

I am constantly learning that his kindness and compassion never seem to bottom out- his goodness is just plain surprising.

We humans are endlessly complex. We are deep creatures... ginormous mansions full of revolving bookshelves and secret trap doors. We have tall lookout towers and dark basements and bricks of joy cemented into place by the mortar of pain and heartache. We are overflowing with rooms and cozy nooks and lofty rafters. And then... marriage? That day when we are handed a new set of keys and told that there has been a major expansion?

Cautiously at first, I run my hands along the foreign walls and seek out the fragmented sun spots to warm my feet in. I try the windows and slowly climb the stairs.

We were created to be Nancy Drews and Hardy Boys! We are mystery solvers and pioneers- stumbling upon treasures locked away for too long in our beloveds... bringing them out for display! Slipping these treasures into our pockets and smiling from our guts!

His heart is a cliffhanger. His mind is a maze. His skin is a warm comforter wrapped around me on a cold morning. His soul is oceans deep... attempting to know him completely is like trying to find the edge of God.

11 comments:

sufferingsummer said...

beautiful and so well put. I feel quite the same.

Candace said...

David is the same way about the bed....i wish i would have known that at the very moment, on our first night home, as I stumbled to the bedroom so very tired and the left side of the bed was so near, that i was making a decision that will last my whole lifetime....I can't even for one night experiement with the right side. I am forever stuck on the left!!!

Megan said...

You have made the Internet fall in love with your husband.

I read how you feel and I feel such joy for you. Such joy that you have found what you have. And I find myself revitalized by your words...and I shut off the computer, and make my way into Kevin's arms.

I'm headed there now.

Anna Joy Photography said...

sigh, i can't wait to be married someday!!

Cameron Ingalls said...

dang....who are you?!

MoMar said...

deeper sigh ... Chris, you are one lucky guy !!

Erin said...

I love this perspective on marriage. It's very true and very real. Thanks.

Andrea June said...

Wow...you make me so jealous! Now I want to get married, too!
I support you wholeheartedly in your love of crushed ice. It's my fave :)

Anonymous said...

Why aren't you published?! Seriously.

cam said...

Beautifully written...

sarah delmore said...

so well put...12 years in and still finding new rooms in my baby's heart. also, crushed ice rules.