Growing out Short Hair.

Today my hair was making me want to... pull out my hair.

So, remembering a technique my dear friend Harmony taught me back in my college days, I grabbed some bobbypins and pinned it up.

And then this afternoon, I trimmed my bangs.

Ta-da! New hair!

I think this will really help as I trudge through the horrible stages that come with growing out my hairz. I recommend a truck load of bobbypins to anyone and everyone who is trying to go from short to long.





They are miracle workers, I tell ya!

25 Weeks and The End of an Era.

This is what I looked like yesterday... at 25 weeks pregnant.

And just like when I turned 25 years old, something about the number feels... suddenly up there. Like, this is really happening. And relatively SOON. 25 weeks= somewhere in the 7th month, doesn't it? I have no idea. Pregnancy timelines are so confusing.

Also, ohdearlord, are those stretch marks already??!

When I was pregnant with Ezra, I stayed stretch-mark free until about a week before I gave birth. With only DAYS left to go, my skin gave out. Not that I mind too much... they don't bother me at all, really. (Battle wounds!) But, I got some stretch marks elsewhere at the same time that I have never quite gotten used to. Let's just say they were a result of an increasing milk supply, and they are MUCH more prominent than the marks I got on my belly. Curse you, small boobs! You just couldn't handle the pressure, could you?

heh.

I'm feeling great but still stressing about landing on a name so that I can start calling this child something other than "the baby". At the same time, I'm trying to be patient and trust that God is hearing my prayers about finding the name. I believe that God knows this baby's name, and that He will tell us what it is when He's good and ready to tell us. It's my job, in the meantime, to try and suppress the inner maniacal basket-case inside of me and just keep my ears tuned into Him so that I can hear His voice.

(This is about as easy for me as threading a baseball bat through the eye of a sewing needle. I'm not the most patient person in the world.)

In other news, I did something drastic again yesterday.

Yes, I cut my hair.

I was getting ready to go to a friend's wedding, and my hair was just so... UGH... and... CRUNCHY... and... UGH&^!(&^!%@... so, I put some of it up in a pony tail and I chopped it all off.

I did it myself, so it needs some professional touching-up eventually, but I feel like a new woman. It is off of my neck and I have found LOTS of cute and different ways to wear it. I can still pull it into a ponytail. And the crispy, unhealthy ends are gone, which is the best feeling in the world.

Also? IT WAS FUN. I love cutting my hair.

So, I suppose this means that, after nearly two years of Operation:Grow Hair!, I have finally caved. Although, I still plan on growing it out from here... hopefully this time with fewer layers and healthier ends.





The end of an era, no?

Operation: Grow Hair! (Month Twenty.)

Operation: Grow Hair! has been tediously trucking along for almost 20 months now. In this photo taken by Ezra a couple of days ago, you can see the progress so far. Pretty long, no?

I trimmed my bangs WAY too short the other day and am now forced to pin them back until they reach an acceptable length again. Like, oh, say, 3 years from now.

Here's the thing... in this much less flattering shot taken moments later by my three-year-old personal photographer, you can see what I'm really dealing with here.



POOFY, thick, unmanageable hair that is so full of layers it might as well be a pre-teen fall wardrobe.

I need help.

I was fine with hiding the mess by wearing it up day after day after day, and have even begun to resort back to the hippie beanie days to contain the hairsplosion, but it's getting to the point where something needs to be done. And fast.



Even my sweet husband suggested I do something about it this morning. "Maybe a trim? Or they could thin it out a bit on the bottom...?"

When your own husband starts commenting on the unruliness of your hair, I think it's pretty obvious there's a problem.

So... I am lost. I love the length of my hair right now, but only the BOTTOM LAYER is that long. The rest is quite a bit shorter. Do I keep hiding the rat's nest and trudge through? Do I trim the bottom layer to the length of the top layers and grow it all out equally? Do I become a recluse for the next three years and fervently pray to God that He have mercy on my soul?

I need personal experience and opinions here, dear internets.

I need code red intervention.

I need... relief.

Yours Truly,
DROWNING IN HAIR *HACK*HACK*, Oklahoma.

The Mother of All Hair Posts.

This is what Ezra looked like yesterday.




And this is what he looks like today.






Here's what happened.

I was all, "Chris! We should give Ezra a buzz cut this Summer since he sweats like a juice box!"

Chris: "No. He would look very silly in a buzz cut."

Me: "Nooooo he wouldn't!!"

Fast forward a few days. I'd trimmed Ezra's hair, and Chris loved it. It was short but not too short. Ezra looked dashing.

Then I noticed that I'd missed some spots, and that the top still seemed way too long. So, I picked up my scissors again.

It all went downhill from there.

Let's just say he looked exactly like Loyd from 'Dumb and Dumber' by the time my second trim was over.

NOT OKAY.

Chris was at work, so I decided to take the plunge and just cut it ALL off. I'd rather have a big bald headed boy than a boy who incites images of LLOYD FROM DUMB AND DUMBER every time I look at him.

Chris was very sad when I sent a picture of the new 'do' to his cell phone. He does not like the buzz cut.

It is growing on me, however. At first I wasn't too keen on the look, either. (UHMM... Probably because it made my baby-child suddenly look like a fourteen year old.) But we went outside in the heat today and Ezra did not look like a sweaty, wilting flower! He did not turn bright pink! He just ran around looking like happy fourteen year old with military aspirations! Hooray buzz cut!

Maybe I'm just taking out my repressed scissor fingers on my son, since I cannot cut my own hair. Speaking of which... Operation: Grow Hair - an update!



It seems like it is MUCH too hot to be carrying around all this excess hair on top of my head. A small part of me wants to chop it. Because it FEELS like this:




Luckily, I found this photo of Kate Moss the other day:



...and am using it as an inspiration to keep on GROWING. Who knew? My hair is just like Kate Moss'. (Moss's? Moss'eses?) Big and blonde and poofy and lion's mane-ish. The kind of hair that makes you feel like you're wearing a heavy diva wig on your head in the humid, 90 degree weather!

She's got about 6 inches on me in this image. And fortunately for me, my hair grows like CRAZY when I'm pregnant. So... I'm sure to catch up in no time. Right?

Right. UNLESS I CHOP IT. (Which I won't.) (Or maybe I will.) No, no... yes! NO.

Operation: Grow Hair!

OK, since you asked, here's an update on the Operation: Grow Hair! situation.


First, let's do a refresher of how long my hair was when I started this "growing out my hair" bit 14 months ago:

(Look at me... So young! So innocent! So unaware of how sucky growing out one's hair can be! Also: cute hair! Why the eff have I been growing my hair long again?!)


Aaaaaand now here's how long my hairs are now:



...which is pretty great, right? Except I NEVER wear my hair down like this because it feels like a lion's mane on crack- flying this way and that and finding its way into 80% of what I try to eat. So, I daily resort to my staple hair-doo of the moment: The Side Pony.



Here's where I need your help, dear hair help people of the world. I have a friend who is a hair stylist and she's asked me to be a hair model for her, which means HELLO free fancy hair cut! She says she can leave my length and just cut some layers and trim my bangs, but now I'm thinking "Hmmm... perhaps an A-Line cut would look nice?" You know- shorter in the back and sloping to longer in the front? But then I probably couldn't do my side pony anymore. And it might be harder to grow out after that?

I don't know. I need your help. I must know EXACTLY what to do before I get in the room with a pair of scissors- or else, knowing me, I'll suddenly scream, "SHAVE IT OFF !!!" and then I'd have to slink back here and tell you that, um, I "trimmed my bangs" again. And the stylist must have sneezed or something because NOW I'M BALD.

What to doooo????

I've Done Something Drastic.

I have done something drastic.

And for those of you who are of the female gender, you know EXACTLY what I'm about to say next.

I cut bangs.

My hair was just, I don't know... BLAH up front. And I figured that Operation: Grow Hair! didn't exactly state that I couldn't cut bangs, it just said I had to grow my hair out long. Which I am totally still doing. In the back.

OhDearGod when I say it that way it sounds as if I have given myself a mullet. Perhaps I have. *hyperventilate*

I know they are ghetto bangs and not the "fancy fringe" I would have gotten had I paid someone to do it for me, but it was completely sporadic and unplanned for. (Harmony, you would have killed me! Heh.) I was looking at this FANTASTIC vintage clothing site on eBay and suddenly decided that I must have heavy bangs. Like, NOW.

********************************
Ack! There's a spider on the wall by my desk! LKJHWG^@ET_)@&*@@(*!!!
It's crawling CLOSEEERRRR TO MEEEEEEEEE!!! I'm now typing while standing up just in case I need to deftly lunge away from its ferocious spider claws.
********************************


Anywho- I chopped the front of my hair off. And now it looks like this:




So far, I love it. My hats look cool again. I can wear scarves in my hair again. And, best of all, it has been hubby approved. He likey mucho.


********************************
Spider Update: It is now climbing up the wall towards my tin sign. From here it looks as if he's hungry for human. Ooooh I hate this spider.

********************************
In other news, we had to call the Roto Rooter guy out because our tub just mysteriously stopped draining yesterday. We've had to call them twice before and every time they come out they ask if they can borrow an old towel. And every single time, they hand the towel back with permanent black sludge all over it. Lovely. You'd think they would have drop cloths or old towels of their own for that sort of thing? I have a new slogan idea for the Roto Rooter Company:

"Roto Rooter. Dirtying precious towels across your city with slimy pipe sludge since 1935."

I'm sorry. Do I look like I own "spare towels"? Every towel that I own is crucial and was probably purchased on sale at Ross for $3.99. Next time? BRING YOUR OWN DANG TOWELS.

********************************
Yesterday we had really weird weather here- there were severe storm alerts all day and tornado watches to boot. We didn't get too much action here, except in the afternoon where within a span of 5 minutes all of this happened:

- (one) HUGE gust of wind. Windows flexed and I gathered Ezra up into the center of the house.
- Sky got darker and it started to rain. No more wind.
- All of a sudden there was ONE loud peal of thunder.
- HAIL. Dime sized. For about 20 seconds.
- Then it stopped completely.
- And became really really sunny outside again.

Craziest 5 minutes ever!

********************************
Third and final spider update: He was attempting the difficult transition from wall to ceiling while I ran to the doorway lest he plunge into my hair. Then I looked up and he was gone. I died a thousand deaths. He'd landed next to my desk on a side table. He sat there for a really long time like he was in shock. I don't blame him at all because he'd just fallen approximately one trillion spider lengths. Now, he is limping around looking all confused and, frankly, I feel sorry for him and am thinking of scooping him up into a nice little spider habitat I'll make inside of a mason jar. I think I'll name him 'Brave Guts'.

********************************
This post reads like a piercing migraine.

Apologies!

Edited to add: I had kept my feet up off of the floor since the spider disappeared because I just knew it would crawl on my foot the second I dropped it to the carpet. After about 15 minutes of this, my foot fell asleep, so I put it down on the ground. I just looked down and the spider was about ONE INCH away from crawling up onto my foot. I have since moved to Alaska, where I'm told spiders are illegal.

Operation: Grow Hair! (Plus 8 Random Facts.)

Here's a quick Operation: Grow Hair! update...

It started out this short ten months ago:



...and now:
It's getting loooong. I like to shrug my shoulders up to my ears and then splay my hair across them while pretending that it is actually long enough to do that without making myself look like Igor.


*******************************

In other news, I've been tagged. (Thanks, Jen!) I must now confess 8 things about myself that you guys probably don't already know. Hmmmm.

one. I was a gymnast for a whole lot of years. No one bothered to tell me I was too tall and lanky for the sport- I had to figure that out on my own after many many years of wondering why I sucked at it. When I started to compete, I had two coaches from Russia that could have scared the stink off of poo. I can still tumble and do flips.

two. I gave up drinking soda about a month ago. Since then, I feel like my taste buds have come back to life. I tried to drink a diet coke the other day and had to pour most of it out because it tasted like sugar and syrup. Wait... That's because it IS sugar and syrup!

three. I have bad skin. (Thank God for Photoshop.)

four. I spent my entire Junior year of High School writing my name like this: MRE. Get it? MRE? Emery? I even started writing it like that on my school papers. You know, to save time. I was am such a dork.

five. I love God more than I love my husband.

six. I have been known to film and edit wedding videos.

seven. I'm scared of having another baby partly because Ezra has been a REALLY easy kid and people always say that your second child is the polar opposite of your first child.

eight. Is my favorite number of all time.

Operation: Grow Hair! (an uppy-update)

before.


and now!


Now we're gettin' somewhere! woo woo!

I've had such an urge to chop chop chop away at my hair again... restless feelings always make my scissor fingers itch. Looking back at how much progress I've made since beginning Operation: Grow Hair! has been quite motivating, however, and has staved off the drastic hair-cutter within.

(For now.)

Plus... I am only milimeters away from a legitimate PONYTAIL! I know, I know- you all just fell right off of your chairs, didn't you? ALERT THE MEDIA! Emery has almost reached the next phase in Operation: Grow Hair! It's the phase where she begins to shower less often because, hey! Ponytails cover a multitude of sins!

Operation: Grow Hair! (an update!)

Operation: Grow Hair Update!




not too shaby considering I've only been officially growing it out since mid December! woo woo!

The Year of the Pig (tails).

Today was a major milestone in Operation: Grow Hair!

I have contacted the Guinness Book Of World Records to report my achievement of the teensiest, tiniest, most infinitesimal pig tails EVER in the long history of mankind. Each pig tail weighed in at a whopping 4 strands of hair each.

I couldn't have done it without you all. *sniff*

Growing Pains.

I've decided today that I want to grow my hair out again.

I think...

(maybe?)

Most Definetly! (or not.)

this is the longest my hair ever got... it was right after I had Ezra.

Is this a good idea? Or am I just one of those 'short haired' kind of people? I do like short hair, but sometimes I get bored with it, you know? Oh, and if it is a good idea to grow it- I'm gonna need some serious help. Because, when I have bad hair days, I will usually just shut myself in the bathroom with a pair of scissors and CHOP CHOP CHOP like it ain't no thang. I'm going to need strict punishment and hoardes of accountability if I plan to grow my hair more than 1 inch past where it's at now.

what to doooooo????

PS. As I was looking for a 'long hair' picture, I came across this: (click on the picture to make it bigger)



Ezra's bellybutton used to be in the shape of a perfect STAR. How crazy is that?!