(More!) Reasons Why You Might Consider Never Returning to This Blog Ever Again.

Am I the only human being on the planet that has never read a Jane Austen novel? I have read most all of the classics. Gimme some Tolstoy. I will devour Dostoevsky and delight in Dickens and Rapture over Rand. Aaaaand I just threw up in my mouth because that is without a doubt the MOST CORN BALL thing I've ever typed. *embarrassed* Let's pretend I'm still cool and move right along.

I just finished 'David Copperfield' by Charles Dickens and LOVED it. His similes and metaphors are so simple and profound that I found myself laying awake at night thinking about how brilliant they were. I was underlining them as I read. Something in me felt blasphemous because, you don't underline in books that aren't History textbooks or that aren't found in the Christian Inspiration section at the local bookstore, do you?? A small part of me was sure that the book police would jump out of my closet and fine me for defacing my own property.

Do you remember how you had to sign your name in every school textbook you got? I was the girl who thought I was going to get called up to the front at the next school assembly by the principal himself to be publicly humiliated for my textbook maltreatment if I didn't return every book in perfect, mint condition. If the textbook I had been given was in bad shape when I received it, I would spend oodles of time writing out EVERY blemish I could find in the space of that little 2 inch box labeled 'Condition'. Sometimes I needed more room and wrote it out on a separate index card and then I would tape that index card onto the inside cover of the book next to the "Condition" box with an arrow from my name to the index card itself.

I think I'll title this post "(More!) Reasons Why You Might Consider Never Returning to This Blog Ever Again." Okay... done.

Every time I finish a book I feel a little bit sad, but then I remember that I get to start a whole NEW book and then I get really excited. So, last night as I read the very last page in 'Copperfield', I immediately picked up a book that I somehow knew I probably should have read by now but could never make myself open. It has just been sitting there on my nightstand, where I have all of my unread books lined up precisely in the order than I plan to read them. (Reason # 658). This book has been at the front of that lineup for years, but has never been picked. I always go right for the book sitting next to it.

The book is "Pride & Prejudice".

Maybe I haven't been able to open it because of all the hype that surrounds this book. All the swooning that spontaneously erupts whenever the title is mentioned.

Me: "I've been thinking of reading Pride And Prej...."

Them: Swoon! SWOON SWOON! loud sighs! Clutching hands to heart! SWOON!

Me: "..udice..."

But now is the time, people! I'm going to read it. And here's the proposition:

Have you ever read this book? If you haven't, do you want to read along with me? (Or, if you have read it and LOVE it and would enjoy reading it again, would you like to join me as well?) I don't know exactly what this would look like just yet. I thought I would see if anyone was interested in joining me first, and then I'd work out all the details after that.

Perhaps I could set up a temporary blog where we could discuss each chapter as we go, or perhaps it could all be through email or maybe even just discuss it here once a week? Something casual and, you know, freakin' awesome.

Maybe you all have already read it. (You've probably all seen movies like "The Breakfast Club" and "Sixteen Candles", too. Me? Notsomuch.) (Reason # 659) I've never even seen any of the gamillion Pride & Prejudice movies that are out there, so I don't have any clue what this book is about. Although, I'm gathering it might posses a triumphant love plot from all the EXCESS! SWOONING! involved.

One more thing. This book be cheap, people. If you think you might want to join me, you can pick up a copy for under $4.00 at Barnes & Noble or Borders or Amazon or wherever. Just so you know.

Interested?

Bravery.

Ezra lives dangerously. Only, it's entirely vicarious.

He'll poise his cars on the edge of cliffs and dangle his action figures from dizzying heights. He'll launch his trains off of mega jumps and feed his dinosaurs grimy dirt. But the boy? The boy himself tip-toes through mud and has a 'one foot on the ground at all times' policy that he sticks to like a fly on poo. He won't jump off of anything without heavy assistance, or climb higher than the length of his own leg. He demands a lap to sit on when descending a slide. He requires a napkin when he eats so that he can remove icky food debris from his dainty fingers. He throws all of his trash directly into the garbage can.




Wild side? No... Um, Not really.

Despite all of this, my boy is brave.

Superhero brave!

He may not be the rough-and-tumble kindof brave, but his HEART is courageous and he'll conquer the world with nothing but his toothpick legs (both planted solidly on the earth, of course) and his kind, winning nature.

If there is a little boy in your life that you love to bits, be sure to wrap him up in your arms the very next chance you get and let him know that his bravery never escapes you, never ceases to amaze you.

Because little boy's hearts thrive on this praise. They grow strong under its covering. If they know they are brave when they are young, they won't need to spend the rest of their lives trying to prove it to just anyone and everyone that comes along. They will not have a need for "macho". They will know that they know that they know it, deep down inside of them, and they will become more and more prepared for the battlefield that lies ahead of them with every honoring word that comes from your lips.

The Cat Is Most Definitely Out of the Bag.

I have NO desire to be a pet owner.

*gasp!*

First off, let me say that I love animals. I think animals are pretty much the shiz. I was the little girl who wrote sappy poems about majestic eagles and our responsibility to all the endangered species. I wrote school papers on the rain forest and treated every animal like they were sensitive, emotional beings. I've been raised around domestic animals all my life.

I'm pretty sure that most of you who read this blog are pet owners and I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

At all.

I just personally find it... um... weird. Shortly after Chris and I got married, we had a conversation about pets. He and I talked about how, if you take a step back and look at our culture as if you were just a visiting alien from outer space, it would seem incredibly strange to see humans walking around with animals on ropes or animals cooped up in tiny apartments. (Chris also wrote about that conversation here.)

Animals are wild creatures. I know it's hard to think of golden retrievers or lap cats or shaky bug-eyed chiuauas as WILD ANIMALS because they've been so domesticated and over-bred for hundreds and hundreds of years, but these animals were never intended to live indoors. And most breeds aren't very healthy anymore from all the control we've exercised over their genes... their very DNA.

Even more shocking and disturbing to me are those whose animals are not much more than fashion statements. You know the ones I'm talking about... The dressed up dogs and the super expensive bejeweled dog purses that they get carted around town in. Yuck. It takes all that I have to not bust out laughing when I see one of these women walk by me on the street. I just don't get it.

I know that there are some really amazing and responsible pet owners out there that take great care of their animals. And those animals are so very lucky, because, they never asked to come into this world... And it's to the point now where if they don't wind up in a good home, they will be forced to live miserable lives and then probably end up in shelters where they don't stand much of a chance anyway. How sad. It's kind of an out-of-control situation now... with so many animals and so very few homes for them to live where they can run in big backyards and chase birds and dig holes and bark their faces off and maybe have a friend or two to keep them company. Because THAT'S WHAT DOGS DO. They bark and pee and run and chase and wag and eat and slobber and poop. And we humans get them in our care and immediately try to train them not to do all of these things and, again, I just don't get it.

our neighborhood cat- she comes and goes
and eats birds. The life! The life!


I'm just not one of those people who has the energy to pour into caring for an animal in the way they deserve to be cared for. It's hard enough for me to remember to feed Ezra and myself 3 times a day. There's a dog in the yard next to mine that just sits back there all day long and it makes me sad. He is so sweet and gentle, but he seems terribly restless and you should see the excitement he goes through when he hears a car pull into their driveway- but no one comes back to talk to him or walk him. He just continues to SIT.

I know that animals are great for teaching kids responsibility and love and respect for other living things. I don't believe, however, that the ONLY way to teach kids these values is by owning an animal yourself. I know the day will come when Ezra will look deep into my eyes and BEG BEG BEG BEG me to get him a dog or a cat or a fish or a bird or a komodo dragon. I will tackle that issue when we get there. If we are then at a place in our lives where an animal would do nothing but FLOURISH and get everything it needed and also have the freedom to actually be an animal while in our care, then I might consider it. Until that day, it's completely and totally OUT OF THE QUESTION.

My family has always had a passion for helping animals.

And that is the reason why I currently don't own any.

Your thoughts?


our household pets.

Symphony and Me.

This weekend was jam-packed with family goodness- it was one of those weekends that I didn't want to end.

On Friday, Ezra and I went to a friend's B-day party, and Ezra got to hang out in the dirt with his BFF Ethan while mommy got to eat chocolate cake AND ice cream. Plus, when I was getting Ezra out of his carseat to go into the party, he kept pointing above my head and saying "moooon". Me being the sharp mommy that I am I said, "What? What are you saying? What are you pointing at?" Thinking that maybe he saw a cow decoration in the yard next door or something. (moooooo.) Then I looked up and saw the moon and squealed with glee because my son said ANOTHER WORD. I made him say it a hundred times to everyone at the party because I was so dang proud. Moooon!



The next night we had a date planned and our new neighbors watched Ezra while Chris and I went and got yummy food and then went to the Symphony. The Symphony! I had never been to the symphony! I was very excited as we aproached the Civic center and saw hundreds of people all dressed up, pouring in through the doors. It was mostly elderly people, and I couldn't help but think that my generation was missing out on something pretty amazing and that also maybe we wouldn't know good music if it jumped out of the bushes and smacked us in the head with a cello.



It's quite a fancy affair, the symphony. People take pride in it. We went to pick up our tickets at the Will Call booth, and there was a big poster displaying who would be the guest performer of the evening. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw her face on that poster. It was none other than Lilith. You know, Lilith? From 'Cheers'? And that one show that I'm obsessed with I watch every now and again: Fraiser?! Bebe Neuwirth. She's a broadway performer. I watched with glee as she belted out gutteral Broadway Show Tunes on the stage below. And she was also really funny and... I think I love her.

Chris played in symphonies for years (did you all know he's an outstanding violist?) and he tried to explain all the nuances and happenings of the stage and the musicians and it was all so facinating to me. Basically, what I gathered, is that whichever chair you sit in tells the world how good you are at your instrument. First chair = your instruments sounds like angelic choruses when you play it. Last chairs = your instrument sounds like animal mating calls when you play it. Haha I joke. It was beautiful. It's like a whole different world that I've never experienced, and I saw my husband's eyes light up as he excitedly revealed a whole new room of his heart that I'd never been in before.

So... go experience your local philharmonic! Take binocluars! Bring yummy candy that doesn't have crinkly wrappers! Show up 30 minutes early! (Showing up later is, I've been informed, rude.) Bring a sketchbook with you if you like to draw! Be bold and go by yourself! Buy a strong drink at intermission! Watch each individual musician and marvel at the beauty of so many fragments coming together to make a whole!

I hope to go back again someday soon. And I secretly hope to see my husband sitting on a stage again one day- with a viola tucked neatly underneath a satisfied grin.

photo by Shawna Herring Photography

Sheets of Glory.

I bought some new white sheets from eBay a couple of days ago for a fantastic price. They will be the nicest sheets I've ever owned... the only sheets that will boast a higher thread count than TWELVE. These babies are 400TC Luxury Sateen... I'm sure it will be like sleeping between two slices of rainbow. (And I don't mean the bread kind of Rainbow, either.) While I was searching for my new sheets I came across thousands of listings for sheets claiming to have a 1200 THREAD COUNT.

Um...1200? Really? Is this gonna be one of those things like men's shaving razors where the numbers just keep getting higher and higher until they reach ridiculous proportions? (Introducing the Gillette Turbo Maximum Ultimate 24! Now, with 24 blades!! The closest and most dangerous shaving experience of your life!)

I'm pretty excited for them to arrive. So excited, in fact, that I went and bought a new duvet cover and matching pillow shams as well. You know, to keep my new sheets company. Here are some pics of my new pottery barn duvet set:




So sweeeeet! I got a killer deal on these as well. But just when I was beginning to think I was the Queen of all things eBay, I found an identical set that was $25.00 cheaper than the set I had just bought. *grrr* Oh well, it was still such a good deal that I don't feel too beat up about that. Heck, whats $25.00 now-a-days? You can't even get one picture with Santa at the mall for that price anymore. 25 bucks is Pocket change. (to be read with extreme sarcasm.)

Speaking of sheets and pinching pennies and whatnot... it seems I have been washing Ezra's bedding DAILY because he keeps soaking through his diaper overnight. I wanted to save a few bucks last time I was at the grocery store, so I bought the Generic Target brand diapers instead of the Huggies that we usually buy. They were a whopping 4 dollars cheaper! And I have now increased my monthly water bill by much more than 4 dollars due to so many extra loads of pee soaked sheets and blankets! There are just some things that you can't cut corners on in this life.

Like diapers.

And Plastic Surgeons.

And Tequila.

Am I forgetting anything?

His Eyelashes Speak a Thousand Words.

I am wordless...

So, here are some recent pictures of Ezra-face! Wee!

Don't be TOO amused... he's in the middle of throwing a fit. *cringe*


His head is an orb... a little lightbulb in my backseat.


Mute button. Pointed right at ME.


Hippie beanies are for everyone!


Acrobat.



OK, I saw Ezra sitting like this one day and I was like OMG Ezra is totally sitting CROSS-LEGGED and I ran and got the camera and took about 50 pictures JUST LIKE THIS ONE. I kept saying, "Look, Chris! He's cross-legged!" and I kept taking pictures while Ezra just sat there like a statue. I thought this was great stuff. Now, looking back, I realize that THIS WAS NOT A BIG DEAL. (But at least I have 50 pictures of the occasion.) heh.


The traditional "I'm going to take a picture of us so that we will have a picture to prove that YES we did hang out a lot and, see? We're so happy! (except for you.)"

A Shoddy View of Beauty.

Ezra makes me tired.

He has been acting like his food has been laced with 'uppers' the last couple of weeks. He is spastic and crazy and bouncing off the walls. He has suddenly abandoned his cleanliness and tears each room apart the second I clean it up. He runs from me at every available opportunity. He is FAST. No more up and down bouncy toddler jogging... This kid can sprint! Do you know how long it takes for a two-year-old to disappear between the trillion bookshelves in Barnes & Noble? I swear, I blinked and didn't find him again until two life-shortening minutes later- he was over by the Music. The music!! That's a long ways away from the kids books!

One sweet relief I have had to all this wacky behavior is our wonderful backyard. This past weekend, we spent two full days working on the front and back lawns. We have some really super amazingly great new neighbors (she's a stay at home mom too!! Hurrah!) and her father tilled both of our lawns for us. Then we seeded them both and watched as mother nature did all the watering for us. Soon, we will have nice, lush grass. I can't wait. In the meantime, Chris worked his tooshie off and sectioned off the part of the yard where Ezra's swing set is and filled it with mulch. This is FANTASTIC because it makes our yard look awesome, and Ezra doesn't get covered in mud every time he plays outside now. Here's some pics:




Pretty cool, eh?

Also, the roses! I love them! They make me look like I know how to keep pretty plants alive! Even though I don't! Have! A! Clue!






And yet, even though Ezra is a handful and wears me to the bone, I am feeling more content and happy than I ever have in my life. I am absolutely falling in love with Oklahoma and the people here and my church. I love my neighborhood. I think we have a family crush on our new neighbors. heh. I feel grounded and proud of the momma and the wife I am becoming. I screw up all the time, but am actually living in GRACE for the first time ever, I think. I am writing. This is good. I am thinking of taking classes, maybe aiming towards an English Degree sometime in the future. (I have an Associates Degree, but never got the full Bachelor's Degree.) This is good too. I am quietly happy, ridiculously blessed.

I am learning to keep away from DRAMA and the people who seem to be able to pull it from thin air. Life should be simple. If it's never simple, never has been simple, then the drama may be feeding something inside of you. You may need it and not even know it. Even when times are really hard and painful, they don't have to be drama. Hard times can (should?) be simple times too.

I am looking myself in the mirror and squaring my shoulders and trying not to waste time feeling ugly. I've been sold a shoddy view of BEAUTY by this world, and I don't plan to chase the smoke of it to my grave. I plan to live. Live well. Be comfortable in my own skin. Why do none of us feel this way? Because we've been taught that beauty equals thin. Bone thin. We've been taught that beauty equals YOUTH of all things! (The ONE most unattainable goal in this life!) I want to be the kind of beautiful with deep laugh lines and quiet wisdom. I want to be beautiful because of a generous heart and open arms, not because of smooth skin and perfect hair...

I am rambling. Ramble Ramble. I'll close with this: A recipe my sister-in-law and her hubby gave me for the YUMMIEST and EASIEST Chicken WonTon Salad in the world. Try it. You will LOVE it. (Save some for me.)


Chicken WonTon Salad



Ingredients:
3 skinless, boneless chicken breasts
1 head of green lettuce
1/2 of a package of wontons. (I find them in the cold health food section- by the tofu and whatnot)
3-4 green onions
1/2 cup slivered almonds

Dressing:
1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil
4 tablespoons White Vinegar
4 tablespoons Sugar
2 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon accent (pure msg.. mmm)
fresh ground pepper

Bake chicken at 350 for 40 minutes (or I just throw it on the george foreman grill for 12 mins or so if frozen. 7 mins if thawed.) Cool and cube.
Fry wontons in oil until golden brown, cool and CRUMBLE. (this part is fun! Stress relief while cooking dinner!)
Tear lettuce into bite sized pieces. (MORE stress relief! wee!)
Chop green onions.
Place everything in a big fat bowl, add dressing, toss and serve!

OK, I am now drooling.
The End.

Marriage.

With a new home, you learn (over time) which doors need the extra weight of a knee to shut them completely and you discover where the creaky boards in the floor are lurking only through repetitive trial and error. You eventually determine that FOUR of the light switches on your walls appear to have no purpose what-so-ever, (decorative?) other than to test the very limits of your sanity. There are quirks and subtleties that you can only become familiar with by coexisting with them.

Marriage is the same way. There is a definite learning curve. I had to learn that Chris does not enjoy breakfast in bed. That he needs a good hour or two for his stomach to wake up in the mornings before he can eat a hearty meal. (The poor guy has forced down his share of early AM plates of scrambled eggs before I eventually caught on to this fact.)

I had to learn that he prefers cubed ice over crushed ice, even though it has been all but proven that crushed ice is the ice of the gods... The frozen dewy drops of heaven... The precious crystals that make a Pepsi complete.

I had to learn that dirty dishes left in the sink for too long seem to emit a frequency to my husband's ears like that of nails on a chalkboard.

I have learned that he will never budge nor compromise when it comes to which side of the bed he claims as his own. (I tried to convince him to switch sides with me when we moved into the new house so that he could hide his side-of-the-bed clutter against the wall, but- the right! The right! It MUST be the right!)

I am constantly learning that his kindness and compassion never seem to bottom out- his goodness is just plain surprising.

We humans are endlessly complex. We are deep creatures... ginormous mansions full of revolving bookshelves and secret trap doors. We have tall lookout towers and dark basements and bricks of joy cemented into place by the mortar of pain and heartache. We are overflowing with rooms and cozy nooks and lofty rafters. And then... marriage? That day when we are handed a new set of keys and told that there has been a major expansion?

Cautiously at first, I run my hands along the foreign walls and seek out the fragmented sun spots to warm my feet in. I try the windows and slowly climb the stairs.

We were created to be Nancy Drews and Hardy Boys! We are mystery solvers and pioneers- stumbling upon treasures locked away for too long in our beloveds... bringing them out for display! Slipping these treasures into our pockets and smiling from our guts!

His heart is a cliffhanger. His mind is a maze. His skin is a warm comforter wrapped around me on a cold morning. His soul is oceans deep... attempting to know him completely is like trying to find the edge of God.

12 Years Ago Today.

Bliggity Bloggity. I have no idea what I'm about to write.

Um, Its warm today! We went to the park! It was fun!

My rose bushes exploded open today, and the blooms are approximatley the size of a basketball. OK, maybe not that large, but definetly somewhere in the softball range. I would take pictures to show you how they survived the winter without any assistance from me whatsoever, but Chris took the camera to work a few days ago and I haven't seen it since. I keep forgetting to ask him about that. So, honey- while you're reading this tonight after you get home from a hard day of work: Where's the camera? Oh, and you look real cute in your painting whites. Yum. And, I love yooooo can you bring me a chocolate cookie from the cupboard? And also: I keep
forgetting to buy lunch meat. Can you remind me to buy lunch meat? I need lunch meat. (lunch meat lunch meat).

Did I just have an entire one-sided conversation with my husband via the internet? WHO AM I?!

Ahem.

Yesterday, Chris and I were invited to a fancy lunch to honor a woman in our community that has spearheaded a lot of the urban development downtown. Our friend Charlie recently bought and restored a building in a section of downtown called 'Automobile Alley', and he has had Chris do all of the painting for the place, so he invited us to come to the lunch.

It was really an inspiring gathering to be a part of, although our table of 8 felt somewhat out of place. We were all decked out in our nicest rockstar apparel, (Chris with his neon green airplane patch on the back of his jacket and Charlie with his cabby hat and foot long goatee...) while the other hundred guests were in fancy business attire and hailed from local banks, energy corporations, and other such establishments that have more money than I can shake a stick at.

Meg Salyer recieved the 'Urban Pioneer' award this year, and she spoke of how this city has really redefined itself in the last decade or so. 'Automobile Alley' backs right up against the site where the Murrah Building was in downtown OKC. The Murrah Building was the building that Timothy McVeigh decided to blow up 12 years ago today. Most of the buildigs in downtown Oklahoma City were damaged in that blast.





From Wikipedia:

"The blast destroyed or damaged 324 buildings in a sixteen-block radius, destroyed or burned 86 cars around the site, and shattered glass in 258 nearby buildings. (the broken glass alone accounted for 5% of the death total and 69% of the injuries outside the Murrah Federal building). The destruction of the building left several hundred people homeless and shut down multiple offices in downtown Oklahoma City. The effects of the blast were equivalent to 4,000 pounds of TNT and could be heard and felt up to fifty-five miles away. Seismometers in Norman, Oklahoma (16.1 miles away) recorded the blast as measuring approximately 3.0 on the Richter scale."

When all was said and done, 168 people had lost their lives and 800 MORE WERE INJURED.

Do you remember where you were when you heard about the bombing? I remember being a little girl- living halfway across the country- wondering how something like this could ever happen. I made a scrapbook from newspaper clippings and used to stare at that picture of the firefighter running with the little baby girl in his arms and I would cry. I didn't understand.

The house Chris and I lived in prior to this one was about 14 blocks from the bombing site, and its foundation had been damaged in that blast. Can you imagine how widespread all of this destruction was? How daunting the task of rebuilding an entire metropolitan area would seem? Where do you even begin??

12 years later, downtown OKC is experiencing a renaissance- life is coming back to the old buildings. Culture and arts are pushing up through the ground again. I'm sure these past 12 years have felt like an eternity to some here in the city, but thanks to people like Meg and Charlie, progress is being made. Rebuliding brick by brick. It took only seconds to bring them all down; it will take decades to put them all back up.

I'm proud to be a part of this community. I can't wait to see everything that unfolds as a result of all the painstaking labor and miles and miles of baby steps that have been taken towards restoration.

Good things always come out of the ashes.

Beautiful, stronger things are always built on top of rubble.

Somber.

I have a dear friend here in Oklahoma City that found herself crouching under a table in the infamous library of Columbine High School almost 8 years ago to this day. She's a survivor. She now travels around the country all year long speaking to students about school violence. She is an inspiration to me and to thousands and thousands of others, and she is hurting today because of the hauntingly familiar newscasts and stories of survival that have forced her to look and to remember.

I can't imagine. I can't fathom. Instant terror and thoughts of family rushing through your mind as the desk you were casually resting your elbow on only moments before suddenly becomes a barricade that you beg to somehow absorb you- somehow make you disappear...

Stop right now to pray for the families across the country that are grieving. Pray that God would be near. Pray for the students of Columbine who are reliving the horror and feelings of helplessness all over again. Pray for my friend Crystal and her husband Pete as they grapple with new and old pain.

Today has been somber. Drizzling rain and inadvertantly dressing in black. I'm feeling sad, so I decided it would be good to get out of the house and take Ezra to the mall for storytime and a bite to eat.

Right as we were leaving the mall, we heard a sudden cry and I looked up the escalator to see an elderly woman laying on the sharp metal steps- the steps were still moving upward, and she appeared to be unconcious. There was a lot of blood on her head and her legs and the escalator itself. People rushed to stop the machine and assist her as the fire truck and ambulance pulled up within moments. She had lost her balance and fallen backwards.

As the people gathered and gasped and asked eachother questions while the woman was being carefully treated on the stopped escalator, I couldn't help but think that this world is a really scary place. I couldn't pull myself away from watching the woman's barely concious face and her twisted body and I felt achingly helpless again like I had all day yesterday while the news slowly poured in. I wanted to rush up and throw my arms around her and cry. I wanted to lift her off of the harsh metal steps and lay her down on a bed of soft pillows. I wanted to tell her everything would be alright.

But, instead, I had to wait and trust that she was in good hands. It was all I could do for her. I had to stand at the bottom of the stairs and feel helpless. There was nothing I could say. Ezra wiggled in my arms and gasped and laughed as the firetruck and the ambulance sat just outside the door with their bright lights flashing.

It started to rain again as we walked slowly back to the car- me hugging Ezra tighter than usual and whispering deep 'I love you's' into his perfect little ear.