Dirty Confession.

Maybe you'll hate me for this.

I took my new coat back to the store today.

Refresher: This is what the coat looks like on normal human beings.

Turns out? Long coats may look really cool and keep chilly thighs and buns warm, but they are not very practical for the mothers of young children.

Allow me to explain. The coat is adorable, but every time I would have to squat down to tie Ezra's shoes or kneel down to have a little heart-to-heart with my defiant toddler child, the coat would get covered in dirt. Dirt that stood out like neon flashing lights against the shiny maroon-ness that comprised my lovely new purchase.

Perhaps if I were in Oklahoma, where the dirt is most assuredly RED-ish, I would not have this problem. But I am in brown dirt country now, where there is no hope of harmonious dirt/coat blendation.

(It's a word, trust me.)

I walked around for half of a day covered in a dusting of dirt on my backside before I noticed this quandary. Also? I closed it in my car door. MULTIPLE TIMES.

For the rest of the day I was paranoid that I was walking around looking like a big dirty mud pile with an extra helping of muddy dirt on top. I became so self-conscious that I called it quits on my shopping early and headed for the safety of my in-law's house, where me and my dirty coat could wallow in our plight.

Perhaps this is not so much an issue of mothers of young children in long coats as it is an issue of EMERY JO in long coats. I am just too clumsy, too prone to falling down, too close to dirt too often to be able to pull the thing off.

This is what the coat looks like on ME.

It was a sad walk for me back to the return counter today, but at least I could walk proudly- knowing that my backside was not covered in the dust from the bottom of my very own boots.