Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock.

Things that I may or may not have done in the last 72 hours:

1. UN-packed hospital bag, RE-folded contents, then RE-packed hospital bag. TWICE.

2. Used complex mathematical equations to convince myself (and my wide-eyed husband) that this baby is coming soon- wherein I factor that both Myer & Ezra came 12 days early, and my due date was bumped up to the 23rd of March rather than the 24th, and I was measuring four days ahead at my last appointment, and considering the earth's gravitational pull and the lunar quadrant to the fifteenth power, carry the one... this baby should be here in exactly seven days! Right??

3. Reminded myself that the baby could also just as likely be two weeks late.

4. Ate many, many cookies dipped in milk.

5. Walked up & down the hall of my house and felt a kinship with the wild animals on all those late night documentaries where the pregnant mama paces obsessively back and forth prior to giving birth.

6. Complained loudly to any and all who would listen of "much pain down yonder".

7. Ate more cookies dipped in milk.

8. Shifted nursery furniture around a few hundred more times.

9. Spent many sleepless nighttime hours imagining what that moment will be like when I finally hear the words "It's a _____!"

10. Obsessively attacked laundry in such a manner that I can now hear the sound of a t-shirt hitting the carpet anywhere in my house and then CAN NOT rest until that shirt is clean & folded and put away again- nary an hour after its being cast off.

11. Convinced my five year old son to continually pray that this baby would come soon, mostly because I feel like five-year-old prayers are probably, on some level, more potent than my own.

12. Repented of potentially wrong theological thoughts towards prayer.

13. COOKIES.

36 Weeks Pregnant.

So... I thought this baby had dropped, but maybe it was just the way he or she was sitting that day because it doesn't feel nearly as low anymore. I've been in a lot less discomfort the last couple of days, which has been great!! I was getting a little worried there for a minute... It felt like this little one was just going to fall right out of me. haha. Gross.




I'm seeing my midwife every Thursday from now until the baby gets here. Part of me is secretly hoping that I will go into active labor while I am already there at the office and/or driving there, because it would save me a trip and pretty much guarantee that I will make it on time.

My last labor went so quickly, I fear this baby is going to be born on the highway... eeeeep! We are as prepared for something like that as we can be- Chris knows what to do and nature pretty much takes care of the rest- but I'd really rather not have this baby in my car... it being so clean and new-ish and all. haha.



I realized the other day I should probably freshen up on my 'Breastfeeding 101' skillz. It's amazing how quickly you forget all the ins and outs of something after you stop doing it all day every day. It really is the most natural thing in the world, but there is also a science to it and a determination that has to be there if you are going to be successful at it for any length of time, I think... like eating well and keeping your supply up and feeding for certain lengths on each side and knowing when you should or shouldn't use the pump and on and on and on... I feel like I just haven't been thinking about that whole portion of things very much this time around, and I feel less prepared right now than I was with the boys.



That has been the most challenging part of this pregnancy, I think because we haven't found out the gender... I have felt waaaaaay less prepared in every area- from clothes to nursery to carseats, but also it has bled over into the areas of getting ready for labor and delivery and breastfeeding and baby scheduling and perhaps even preparing myself spiritually/emotionally to become a mother for the third time.

It has also been a lot harder to keep the house feeling "clean & ready" with a crazy two year old running about the place, hitting each room like a little weapon of mass destruction all day long. hehe.

I am praying that these last weeks will be ones of peaceful preparation and growing excitement to meet this little one.

After all, I don't think I will look back on these final weeks and wish that I had spent more time cleaning or scrubbing, but that I had spent more time preparing my heart for this perfectly timed miracle that's on its way to join our family and our journey, you know? Becoming a mother again is ALWAYS an intense experience for a woman's heart, even if it is her third or fourth or sixteenth time around...

Braxton Hicks and Going Bonkers.

(Photo by my Husband.)
I think it should be called "Determination".
Or... "Somebody Go Buy that Tiny White Boy a Belt".

I've been experiencing my first ever Braxton Hicks contractions and they are making me feel totally CRAZY. I've never had a contraction that wasn't part of actual labor, so these "fakey" contractions are messing with my head. I've been cleaning the house and packing my hospital bag and washing all the baby clothes and pacing the floors and getting everything ready because I feel like labor is eminent, when really I have a MONTH left to go until my due date.

I'm feeling super anxious, which is not like me at all. I am really trying to calm myself down and tell myself to breathe, but I feel like I am on edge ALL the time!! I wish I could just sleep the rest of this month away. This pregnancy has been SO different than my first two, it's wild!

Today, I woke up and my whole body looked strange when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The baby seems to have dropped plunged, like, to SEA LEVEL, while I was sleeping, and now the pain and discomfort down low is so intense, I can't even imagine having to waddle around like this for another month. THREE people stopped me while I was out running errands today and asked if this baby was "on its way".

God, give me peace. And patience! And a fast forward button!

haha.

One thing that has really been helping with the discomfort are 'pelvic rocks'. That's where you get on your hands and knees and slowly arch and curve your lower back for about 10 or 15 minutes. It works like magic when I am feeling achy and sore. Also, Chris has been helping by giving me 'hip squeezes', where he firmly squeezes the top bones of my hips while I lean forward and relax. It helps open up my pelvis and alleviates a lot of pressure on my lower back. You preggo ladies out there should definitely try both of these exercises... they are amazing!

I FINALLY bought a little bitty girl coming-home outfit today. It's already washed and folded and in my hospital bag, along with an itty bitty boy outfit. I also picked up some nursing-friendly PJs for the hospital and everything else that I'll need for our stay there.

You see? I'm going bonkers over here.

I think I need to take up a new hobby or something. I need to find something to distract me from bouncing off of my walls. Maybe I'll delve into the world of bird watching or woodworking! Or perhaps I'll start painting country scenes on grains of rice!

For now, I am going to go work on my thumb twiddling. And pelvic rocks. And chocolate eating.

;)

The Flu & 35 Weeks Pregnant.

Wowzers. What a whirlwind the past few days have been!

Two days ago, on Valentine's Day, I came down with the flu. Have any of you ever had the flu while you're eight and a half months pregnant? Let me just say this: I don't recommend it. It was pretty much the worst 48 hours ever. But I feel MUCH better today after a lot of resting and tylenol and fluids.

the hero.

My husband was a champion, of course, and stepped in to save the day- taking care of the kids and me all by himself while still managing to work and provide for our family. How does he do it all?? One thing I've learned from this is that there is no better way to feel loved by someone than by being taken care of by them like that. It made Valentine's super extra sweet this year.

(IN HINDSIGHT. haha.)


*****

On Saturday we had Ezra's 6th birthday party, which went great! I knew that I wanted to keep it really mellow because I am so very pregnant and did not need to be stressing over a crazy party. We invited a handful of friends over for cake and wii games, and I just put out some snacky foods for people to nibble on. Easy breezy lemon squeezy.

My friend Erin MADE this Obi Wan costume... so amazing!!!

It was really fun and Ezra had a blast! I had picked out all of these books from the dollar spot at Target for little gifts for Ezra's party guests, but then forgot to give them out as people were leaving. That's the third year in a row that I have completely forgotten to give out my goodie bags. haha I am a lost cause.

*****





Other than that, I have been starting to feel the panic creep in about getting everything really ready for the baby. It hit me the other day that I should probably buy some tiny diapers and some white onesies and have them on hand asap, because we are at the point now where this baby is coming much much sooner than later, and it will probably need something to wear and poop into. I also need to pack my hospital bag and we should probably get the car seat situated just in case too... ack! So, so crazy. I feel like I am forgetting something major this time around in getting everything ready. I need to go dig up some checklists or something, or else it's going to be the "goodie bag" scenario all over again, I just know it. hah.



I have an appt. tomorrow with my midwife, and then after that I start seeing her every week! I'm trying to get all pumped about the labor, like I was last time with Myer, but this time around I am more feeling like I just can't wait until that part is over and done with. I need some serious birthing motivation!! STAT! :)

34 Weeks Pregnant.

The other day, when I found that amazing armoire for the nursery at the thrift store, my husband surprised me by also having this table delivered to my house along with it:



I had seen the table in the thrift store and remarked on how cool it was, so he sneak-attack bought it for me. I am completely smitten, and we have since discovered that we have quite the little gem on our hands-- an extremely valuable antique in excellent condition that is worth about ten times what we paid for it.

Not that it is going anywhere soon.

I'm too in love with it to part ways with it now.

I mean, the chairs are my favorite mustard yellow! It's like it was made just for me! :)

And then today I was wandering around in a thrift store and saw this amazing vintage cloth poster:



I knew it would be the perfect companion to our new table... so I snatched it up and raced home to introduce the two.



They are getting along famously, and I adore my new little kitchen nook! A lot of life happens right here, and now it feels so cozy and warm... which will come in handy the next few days as we are preparing for yet another download of city-paralyzing snow...



***

Since I knew the chances would be few and far between after today, I greedily snatched up some much needed time to myself this morning after I dropped off the boys and made a mad dash to the grocery store before it turned into a war zone later this afternoon.

It was lovely and so refreshing to just sit and read and journal without any pressing TO-DO's over my head.



Although, I guess the TO-DO's were still technically there... I just chose to ignore them for a bit. Ezra has his birthday party this Saturday, and I probably should have spent the day buying his gifts and getting things gathered for the party since the snow is coming and I only have ONE MORE free day this week (snow allowing, of course) to get out again without the monkey children, but I decided to put my sanity first today.

It was... fortifying.

Necessary.

In fact, that should be my new life motto: "Sanity first!"

It's a good principal to live by, methinks.

***



My sweet baby boy is getting so big these days. He is talking in full sentences ("Here you go, mama!", "I got it!", "Help me peese!", "Tank yoo, mama.") and he repeats almost every single word I say all day long. SUCH a different experience from when Ezra was this age. Ezra was hardly saying any words at THREE. (And oh, how I worried!)

Myer's little baby voice just about kills me with cuteness, and I am feeling more and more these days like having another little boy would be just grand. Little boys are so so precious... and it helps, too, now that we have found a boy name that we love!! Squee!



Not much longer to wait now... only 5 or 6 weeks to go!

Say whaaaaaa??!!?

Oh, Look! Snow Makes Me Snarky!

I think I'll call this photo 'My Life in A Nuthouse. I mean, SHELL. Nutshell.'

The first two days that we were snowed in, I was all by my lonesome with my children. My hubby was far, far away in Minnesota. I feared the worst, but we actually did quite well. I feel like God gave me extra amounts of grace and energy to handle all the non-stop kid duties while being 8 months pregnant.

Then Thursday came. Chris was home safe and sound, and my body just completely shut down. I could NOT wake up in the morning and felt like I could have napped the whole day away. Also? I was moooooooody. This was an interesting and delicate dynamic, because my husband had just returned from a completely life-changing spiritual event, and I know he wanted to tell me all about it, but I had just gotten through days of soul-draining, snowed-in, sleepless-night KID patrol, and the last thing I had energy to do was dive into deep pools of rich spiritual theology.

He saw my desperation and patiently stepped in and handled the kids pretty much all that day for me, while I wallowed and recovered. And ate cookies.



And then today was declared ANOTHER SNOW DAY. But only for one of my children! Which is kind of like telling someone "There's good news and bad news! Here's a cookie! Now... give it back again."

haha.

Myer had a great day at school while Ezra and I bounced off the walls just like the last few days. The roads still were bad this morning because my city is completely and utterly unprepared for this phenomenon called SNOW, even though this exact same scenario seems to happen every! single! year! Right around winter time! Imagine that! Maybe it's easier to just declare a 'State of Emergency' than actually plan ahead and beef up your supply of snow plows? Looks that way to me.

{Look who's being snarky! It's me! SNARK ATTACK!}

I'm sorry. This is just what being trapped inside for 5 days by 5 little measly inches of snow does to me, I guess. I grew up at the foot of the Sierra Nevada mountains, where we would sometimes get multiple FEET of snow dumped upon our heads, and yet we were still able to function as a community! Now, that city was prepared! Like a Girl Scout! A Girl Scout whose money came from jenky casinos and shady slot machines rather than Thin Mints and Tagalongs!

Oh, geez. Here I go again.

*backing away from the keyboard now*

The Anatomy of a Snow Day.

The Sky Is Falling! The Sky is Falling!

So, I went to bed last night feeling all stressed out about the weather because everyone on the news was freaking out and making all these crazy claims like, "This is going to be the worst snow storm ever on record!" I tossed and I turned and I worried that I had forgotten something major, like turning on the faucets to drip or rolling up the windows on the cars.

And after all that stress, this is what I woke up to:



RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

hahahahahahahha.

Now, the roads really were bad this AM, so I'm not saying I'm about to zip out and do a bunch of errands or anything (everything is closed anyways), but I just find it humorous that this amount of snow can freak an entire state out and shut an entire state down, when probably about 75% of the other states would call this a pretty mild weather event.



Oh well. I DO enjoy a good snow day. And they've already canceled school for tomorrow as well, so I'd better just cuddle up & make the most of it!



Today we've been playing a lot of video games and watching movies and building forts and reading books. Oh, and Legos of course!

This has never been one of my strong points- creatively entertaining my kids or organizing a whole bunch of activities when we're cooped up. We pretty much slump through these days, but I'm becoming more and more okay with that as time goes on. I'm realizing that it is not really my job to entertain these little humans 24/7, nor do I feel that it is ultimately in their best interest if I do so. I prefer to push them to be creative on their own, without a whole lot of hovering on my part, and see what they come up with on their own.

Myer has been playing with a pirate ship and some little cars for most of the day, and Ezra has been zooming around the house for hours with a mixture of Lego mini figures and a Lego spaceship he built. Cutie Patooties.

Speaking of cutie patooties, I miss this man:

(photo by my friend Ryan Gikas)

Chris has been growing out his beard since near the beginning of this pregnancy, and he plans to cut it after the baby is born. He says it's his way of sharing in the waiting (and growing) process, which I just think is so cool. At this point, he pretty much can't wait to shave it all off, just like I can't wait to have this baby.

Solidarity!

:)