TKO.

Sometimes I'll have these moments, these flashes of heightened-consciousness, where I stop what I am doing and suddenly think, "WHERE DID THESE LITTLE PEOPLE COME FROM?"



It seems shocking to me that I am already in this stage of life- where I am reproducing people and am completely responsible for their care and well-being. So much of me still feels like a "kid" myself.



And then these two humans, they wrestle! And I think, "If it weren't for me and the decisions I've made, this wrestling match would not even be happening!"



That is right about when Ezra starts screaming because Myer (his EIGHT MONTH OLD baby brother) is "squishing" him or "pulling his hairs" or "drooling on him".

And I swoop in to rescue my four year old. From my eight month old.

*sigh*

It's going to be a loooong 18 years, isn't it?



Wait. Don't answer that. I think I know the truth.

It's going to feel more like the blink of an eye, right? Like a cluster of moments that got away from me too quickly...



...moments that I just couldn't wrestle and pin down fast enough.

It's a total TKO.

When Parents Live Far Away.

You'll have to excuse us over here. We're in the 'Post-MoMar & DooDad Funk'.

It happens every time. They come, we laugh, we play, we stay up late talking, and then they leave. And we mope.

Mopey MckMopers.



Are any of you in this same boat? Where your parents are far away and your children are growing like weeds? It is hard.



This past week was Chris' 28th birthday. We stayed a night in a swanky hotel and got hour long massages and sat in the hot tub and listened to live jazz while sipping yummy drinks in the lounge. (We may have also gone to Ross. To buy a jacket. Because the hotel thermostat was set at 15 degrees Fahrenheit and we didn't want to run home to grab warm things because... you know... THE CHILDREN live there.)

My mom and dad watched the kids overnight for us at the house. We came home so relaxed, that we kind of oozed through the front door with far away smiles on our faces.

It was PERFECTION.

That night we had a birthday party for Chris with family and friends. I made beef enchiladas that were on the extreme side of yummy. (I am proud of this feat, this cooking yummily for 15, because I usually mange to screw up spaghetti for TWO.)

Some of Chris' buddies got together and bought him some music equipment he's been wanting for a long time. Because they love him and know what makes the boy tick.

He says it was the best birthday ever.

(Oh, how he deserves it!)

Anywho, we love and miss you MoMar and DooDad! Thank you thank you for everything!!

The 'oh-so-Suave' Emmys Party.

photo from Rita's blog!

On Sunday, I got to get together with some really great women at an Emmys party sponsored by Suave at Susan's house.

There was a stylist there, Jillian from Tonic Salon, who was incredibly good at making all of us women look red carpet worthy. She touched my hair and BAM! I fell in love with my crop cut all over again.

Plus, I got to take home some free hair goods! yip! yip!



We drank wine and ate cupcakes and payed very close attention to occasionally glanced over at the Emmys, which was fine by me seeing as how I had to ask someone when I got there what the Emmys even WERE. Turns out, they are television awards. But not daytime television, mind you! Only prime time television.

(I have a pair of rabbit ears perched precariously on top of my TV that serve one purpose and one purpose only: to beam down from high heaven the glorious digital rays known as LOST. They are, for the rest of the year, merely decorative rabbit ears, you see.)

(Klassy!)

Thanks Susan and Rita and Suave! I had a fantabulous time!!

You Know You're at the Oklahoma State Fair When...

- A toothily-challenged parking attendant guffaws when you ask if you can park over to the right and then asks "I dunno. You got four wheel drive?"

- The 'FREE' parking lot is, essentially, nothing more than a sludgy mud bog.

- There are one majillion people there early on a Sunday Morning.

- You have the hard decision to make between deep fried twinkies, deep fried oreos, deep fried snickers bars, or deep fried butter sticks.

- You walk for five miles and have seen .0182% of the fairgrounds.



- An exhibit called 'Modern Living' has absolutely nothing to do with Modern Living AT ALL, but is just a room crammed full of people trying to sell you crap like ShamWows and Lamps made from big chunks of Salt. ('The Lamp that Will Change Your Life!")

- Once you enter said exhibit, there is no way to escape the slow moving mass oozing around the tables, and when you finally burst out of the front doors again, you are old and the days of your youth have passed.

- Enthusiastic karaoke at every turn. The kind of karaoke that leads you to believe the performer is CONVINCED there is a talent scout in the audience, and that he don't know what's coming to him.

- You seem to be the only one there not wearing an article of clothing pertaining to the following: OU Football, OSU Football, or Nascar Racing.

- It costs you two dollars for your son to pick up a rubber duck from a plastic baby pool.

- It costs three dollars for him to ride his first baby rollercoaster, on which he screams "NOOO!! STOP!!" until he is purple in the face and more than a little bit traumatized.



- Even after all the craziness, your family arrives home to take three showers each and collapse in a happy, tired heap for the rest of the afternoon.

It Can Only go Up from Here.

Today is kicking my butt.

Myer woke up at 4:30 Ante Meridiem due to a gas bubble, and after screaming for 15 minutes or so, he was up and raring to go for the day.

(I got woken up at 4:30 because of a toot? Oh, the glamour that is my life!)

He went down for his first nap at 6:30 AM. He slept for about 45 minutes, and ever since then, he has not slept, but has fussed for a total of... (sixty times eleventy nine... carry the one... subtract the fifth... to the... uh ...) all the other minutes.

We tried to get out of the house and go to Barnes & Noble but I forgot my stroller and the baby is too heavy for the sling now-a-days and so I let Myer crawl around a bit but then got ooged out by the carpet and Ezra started to throw a fit because he wanted a train and Myer smelled like poop and there was a mom with judgy-eyes so I bribed ezra with a happy meal (ugh) and we left the store but when I was trying to change myer the woman whose car was next to mine was waiting and couldn't get to her door because my door was in the way so I switched sides of the car but when I went to leave I realized I hadn't shut the other doors hard enough and they were about to fly open on the main road and then mcdonalds gave me the wrong food and put a girl toy in ezra's happy meal even though I told three separate employees that he was a BOY.

*inhale*

You know... one of those days.

Anywho, we're all back home now, and Ezra just looooves his American Girl book & paper dolls.

No, really. He looooooves them.

*blink.*

*blink. blink.*

Here's why things are looking up, however... even though today has been somewhat suck-tastic:

- it's Friday!
- Ezra has his first official sleepover at a friend's house tonight!
- one of my articles got a thumbs up for possible publishing!
- I get to go to an Emmy party with these fabulous women, and I am so excited about it that I may or may not already have my dress picked out and hanging in a special place in my closet...

weeee!

The Aftermath.

Thank you guys for your (mostly) constructive discussion on my last blog. Simply AWESOME to read through each different experience and viewpoint on such a hot-button (who knew!?) topic. (Thanks to all the facebook contributors too.)

There are a couple of things I'd like to address:

one. I think most of you guys like to read along here because the site is genuinely... well... me. As honest as I can serve it up. I don't understand why people get so bent out of shape when other humans have different opinions than they do on things. Would you rather I be an auto-bot that only shares your thoughts and views? Or... would it be okay if I hang on to a few of my own? Seriously. Who would want to read/know someone who only believed what they did 100% of the time? Boooooring.

two. I love my sons and my community. Any decisions I am making are coming from that place of love and conviction. Don't be too quick to assume that I am speaking from a place of hate or judgement. Because I am not. No sir. God as my witness.

three. You guys ROCK. And, to all of you out there who are teachers in our school systems... for those of you who ever have been, or hope to ever be... those who pray for our children and pour yourselves out for them year after year after year, wondering if your efforts are or have been in vain... they have not. no!!! They have not! Not a single moment of desperation has gone unseen, and not a single prayer has gone unheard. Not a single kindness has escaped His smile...

You will never know the extent of the fruit that hangs from your branches.

A sincere, humble THANK YOU to you... from me and my Chris.

Eight Months.

Myer is at my MOST favorite kid age right now. 8 months. There is something magical about this age for me. It's the huge personality busting out from the seams of a tiny baby body, I think. Is there anything better?

(No. No there is not!)

This eight month milestone is much different than it was the first time around. Ezra, at eight months, was JUST beginning to crawl. Myer, on the other hand, is already 'walking' around all the furniture... oftentimes letting go and wobbling for a moment before crashing to the ground. Oh. Lordy.

My living room is far from "child proof". Ezra's favorite toy is currently LEGOS. (Whoever designed those tiny CLEAR lego pieces should be locked in a room with a baby and be forced to pick them out of the carpet fibers before the Baby Sonar can locate them... A.K.A. my life IN A NUTSHELL.)

Ummmmm, how exactly does one baby-proof a BOOKSHELF, pray tell?

My days are spent trying to protect the bambino from dangers smaller than my pinky nail. (What raptures!) And yet, amidst all the frustration, there is permeating joy! Because he furrows his mini-brow at me and yells "mmmma ma!" when he's frustrated... because he bop-dances when I play my guitar... because he acts coy when people say hello to him and he buries his face in my neck...

I love him and his smart round eyes.

****

This past week was a bit rough for our little house. Ezra was acting weird for a couple of days-- claiming that he was 'tired' all the time and then lying in his bed.

One time I found him in his bed, under the covers, and he told me that his HEART felt crazy. I listened to his chest and his heart was POUNDING really hard. This was troubling because Ezra had just gotten out of the car and walked down the hall... he wasn't running or playing hard or anything.

I called the doc, we got in to see him the next day, and he ended up feeling like he needed to take a blood sample. Ezra was traumatized by the whole thing, and so was I. They had to poke him three times. I have never seen my son so freaked out and upset, and I thought I was going to pass out while I was holding him during it all, because I was so emotionally overwhelmed by the experience. I have NO idea how I am going to convince him to go to the doctor's ever again.

We've been keeping a close eye on him and asking him occasionally if his heart feels funny, but he immediately answers 'NO!' because he's afraid of having to go back to the doctor. GREAT.

The doc showed me how to take his pulse while I was there, and said that if his heart starts racing again for unknown reasons, he wants to order an echocardiogram and really check out the structure of his heart.

Bleg. No fun. But, Ezra seems to be feeling better overall, so I am hopeful that none of that will be necessary.

Chris and Ezra recently embarked on a project to build something using "every single lego that we own."
Boys are weird.
****

I've been busy this week working on a kid's worship song, submitting articles for publishing, and creating blogs for my brother and my hubby. It has been a productive & creative few days as well... Wee!

****

I've also been using this site called MyChores to help me organize my house and keep things clean in a more efficient manner.


It basically is a website (that is fully customizable) that assigns you chores everyday to complete in your home. Each day it gives me a handful of tasks to finish, and then I mark them off as DONE and then they reset and get reassigned in a few days or months- however often those things should be done. It is seriously revolutionizing my life. My house has never been so clean, and I have never been less stressed about it. Because it's all organized for me! You should definitely try this site, or one like it, if you often feel overwhelmed by keeping up on cleaning like I do. It has been awesome.

****

Lastly, I love my new hair! It is easy and FUN. (I like that in a hair-do.) And, to answer some of you out there, I did cut it myself. I have cut my own hair for many moons, and I have learned to just kind of wing it... cutting and eyeballing things as I go. I don't think my hair has ever been this short. But I love it.


That's all I can think of for now. I'm off to bed! ZZZzzzz.

Your Eyelashes are on Fire!

I went to the Goodwill today and found Ezra's Fall/Back to School wardrobe for $18 !! (because the hemlines of his old pants are suddenly up by his EARS.)



This is all Gap & Osh Kosh & Old Navy Stuff. So nice and soooo cheap!

I can finally dress my son without praying that the fabric would miraculously multiply before he got to school... like when Jesus multiplied the fish & bread to feed the 5,000. "All I'm askin' is for a coupla inches, Lord. A coupla inches!"

I also found two things for MooMer. (That's Myer's latest nickname around here. Not to be confused with MoMar, of course.)



These are TWELVE MONTH OLD clothes. That he wears right now. Because, apparently, my 7 month old is moose big. People keep asking me if he's WALKING yet. Walking! I can't blame them. Then I tell them he is seven months old and they look at me like my eyelashes are on fire.


***********


And, in other news.....



Myer has finally started sleeping through the night!! 12 hours!!

I am a happy woman. I think it's because all his big teeth have finally cut through up top. My neighbor called them "man-teeth" the other day because they are BIG and look like, well, MAN teeth. So, Myer has another new nickname around here now.

(and those are only the ones you can SEE!)


I call him ManTooth.

Mr. Myer "Moose" ManTooth, to be more precise.

chomp chomp!

A Man Worthy of His Dreams.

My amazingly talented husband is faithfully taking steps towards a dream that God has put on his heart, and he is writing about the process as he goes...

I'm so excited I could just squee all over the place. (What does that even MEAN?)

Please check out his new journey here.

He is really desiring input for this new project... so follow along and share your ideas/thoughts/stirrings with him as this dream gets pieced together before our very eyes!

Love Sinks.

Yesterday we began the chore chart in our household.

Ezra's responsibilities include picking up after himself and helping with the dishes.

Myer's responsibilities include mopping the floors by drooling profusely and then dragging himself through the puddles. He's VERY good at this.

(You can trace this kid's exact recent course through the living room/kitchen area by following the CONTINUOUS WET STREAK winding its way around on the wood and tile.)

We did a crash course for Ezra- teaching him how to rinse off the dishes that have been soaking in soapy water and how to load the dishwasher. He loves it. (For now.) haha.

Anywho, yesterday was also the first time Myer had a 'sink bath'. He's finally stable enough to sit in there without me being afraid he's going to tip over and hit his head on the edge. It was so much easier than bending down over the tub and trying to contain him in his baby bath. He loved it and so did I.

Oh, kitchen sink, how I love thee! Let me count the ways...

Climbing Ladders, Finding Sun.

Last night, after Myer was sound asleep in his cozy crib, Ezra came inside from playing with his daddy and invited me up to the roof to watch the sunset.

It was Chris' idea.

(This is why I love this man so very much.)

If there's one thing I've learned about Oklahoma, it's this: IT IS FLAT HERE. There are amazing sunsets almost every night, but if you are anywhere near trees or houses or MOLE HILLS, you will never see them, because the horizon is obstructed from view. You have to be in a tall building or at the edge of a large field or lake to be able to see the horizon off in the distance... to see the sunsets.

Or, as I learned last night, you can just climb up on your roof.







Sunsets have always been important to me. When I see a sunset, I am reminded of how creative God is... and how generous He is to hang such art above our heads every evening. It reminds me that He is good and that He sometimes makes things for no other reason than the fact that they are gorgeous and He wants us to enjoy them. Sunsets didn't HAVE to beautiful, after all. For all practical purposes, they could have been nothing more than the sun dropping blandly out of our view. But the colors! The clouds! The warm, ebbing light and the lengthening shadows! The growing deep of night and the cold stars cutting through!

It gets me every time.

I plan to enjoy many more evenings up there from here on out. I'm learning sometimes you've got to search out the things that bring you life... Sometimes you've got to climb a little bit higher to reach the amazing things going on right above your head.

All you need is a heart that desires to see it.

That, and... maybe a ladder.