Time Eating Train.

Today was glorious.

Today was co op.

I was meant to bring Ezra up to the church by 9:00AM so that a couple of fellow moms could watch him and the other kids from 9-1pm. I was so excited as I packed all of his stuff this morning into a never-before-used diaper bag and made my way to the church.

We were coming up on some train tracks that cross a major road about a block before the church, and Ezra pointed to the train signs and said, "Ding ding ding ding!", Just like he always does. But this time, my son was eerily accurate, and the second he started making the noise, the arms came down and the lights started flasing. A train was coming.

I was the first car to pull up to the railroad crossing, so I pulled the emergency brake and Ezra and I sat patiently and watched the train. Which was not moving, mind you, but it was, you know, JUST SITTING THERE. They were coupling two trains together (um I watch too much Thomas the Tank Engine), which means the engine train backed up and slammed into some awaiting box cars. Then, a guy started hooking the two trains together.

All this time it was POURING down rain- the roads were flooding and my wipers couldn't even keep up with all the water hitting my windsheild.

So, Ezra and I waited...

And waited...

And waited.

34 minutes later, we were STILL WAITING.

I was (unfortunatley) in the right hand lane, so to my left was a row of waiting cars, and to my right was A TREACHEROUS RAVINE. There was no way for me to turn around unless someone decided to let me out.

After about 40 minutes, The person sitting directly next to me turned around and left, and before the person behind them could inch up, I darted out of the gap and turned my car around. 40 MINUTES LATER, people. I could have cleaned my entire house and then watched a movie and then done all my Christmas shopping in that time. But instead, I sat.

40 MINUTES OF PRECIOUS CO OP TIME. WASTED. LOOKING AT A TRAIN.

By the time I'd turned around, the roads were incredibly flooded, and I almost didn't make it to the next crossing to cut over and loop back around towards the church. The roads had turned to rivers.

Around 10:00 I finally pulled into the church parking lot- safe and sound. That bleepity train had sucked up an hour of my free time. And when I pulled away from the church again, I could see the train-- still sitting there. An hour after it had pulled up.

In the remaining time I had, I was able to pick some things up at Target that I needed (how did these shoes get in my basket?) and then I rushed home to clean my house like a mad-woman. I turned up some music really loud on the stereo (my mom's suggestion) and I scrubbed and vaccumed in hyper-mode.

clearance. shebang!
clean floors. double shebang!

Less than an hour later, I was done. My house was clean, I'd run my errands, and now it was time to go pick up my little snoopy poo.

Thankfully, the train was gone by then, and I was able to get to him no problem. He played really well today and now he is passed out in his little bed-- sawing logs and oblivious to the rumbling thunder that is pressing against our cozy little (clean!) house.

"I have yet to meet a fort that I didn't like."

Rocket Heart.

A Trip Down 'Memory Lane'. (aka eBay)

Ezra has really started to outgrow a lot of the toys we have for him, or he's played with the same ones for two years so he's getting bored of them. Chris and I haven't really bought him a whole lot of toys, because we don't have a whole lot of extra room, for one, and also, because we believe that you don't need all the latest, greatest toys to have FUN. I want to encourage Ezra's imagination and creativity from this early age.

This doesn't mean that his room is full of rocks and bent spoons, but the toys we do buy require some... participation.

So, the last few days I've been scanning ebay for some good deals on toys. Ezra has reached this phase where he spends good chunks of time pretending. He'll grab a couple of toys and have them interacting and talking- often knocking the living daylights out of each other followed by a dramatic plunge to the ground by the losing opponent. His robot soars through the air and shoots at airplanes. The barn animals scold each other for jumping over the fences. The farmer runs from the gargantuan snake, only to be eaten a moment later. (he never had a chance.)

It is so much fun for us to see him playing this way. He's brilliant. Genius. This is all Spielberg worthy.

I thought it was high time to get Ezra a few new toys to jump-start this new talent.

Soooo, I bought a couple things.

Like this nice bunch of gently used Rescue Hero toys off of eBay:



And then I am also bidding on this giant lot of Little People toys:



And then maybe (just maybe!) I took little Ezzie bug to Toys R Us this morning and bought him this too:



I just put the garage toy together (Ezra is napping) and I can't wait to see the look on his face when he comes out into the living room and sees it all set up.

Why is it that buying toys is GARGANTUANLY, RIDICULOUSLY FUN?!?!

Also, while browsing ebay, I've stumbled upon a few blasts from the past. There are a lot of vintage toys for sale on there, and when I saw these ones in particular, I felt like a little kid again. Here are a few that I remember vividly from my childhood:








Ahhh... the memories!!

Do you remember your favorite toys from growing up?

When The World Goes Black.

Today was GYMBOREE DAY!! (can't you just feel the energy in the air?) I packed my son into the car and headed out into the torrential down pour so that he could spend some good, quality time with his pal Gymbo The Clown.

It was raining so hard that some of the roads were quite flooded. I had to keep to the middle of the road and pray that I didn't hit one of the lake-sized potholes that are much easier to avoid when not covered in a layer of water. We got to Gymboree and made a mad dash for the doors. But, wait... what's this? Ezra? You want to hold the umbrella? Well, I don't know if that's such a... OK, OK... um, stop screaming. You want to hold it? Uhhh, Okay! Um, here you go! Keep it stea- AGGCK!

We were SOAKED through and through by the time we hit the doors. Sigh.

We played at Gymboree for about a half an hour. Right when Ezra had a ball poised above his head to throw in my direction, the power went out. I instinctively ducked. I still have no idea if I narrowly missed a basketball in the face.

There are NO windows in this gymboree, because it is in an old mall. So, when the power went out, it went COMPLETELY and TOTALLY BLACK. I took a picture:



And here's Ezra attempting to climb the slide in the dark:



And here's Ezra tripping on the corner of a mat:



And here's Ezra stealing a ball from another child:



HAHA, I kid. I was not actualy snapping pictures in the dark, I promise.

Some kids started screaming and crying while panicky mothers tried to locate them in the dark. Other kids thought it was the best thing that had ever happened to them and started running wildly- bumping into other kids or jungle gyms as they squealed. Every mom in the place was calling out their kid's name- trying to outshout the other moms so that their kids could hear them.

CHAOS, people. Utter CHAOS.

I finally found Ezra over by the jumpy trampoline thing (holding another ball over his head) (or maybe it was the same ball?) and I tried to keep him corralled as the employees searched for flashlights. They found a couple, and we all waited to see if the lights would come back on.

After about 10 minutes, I decided to leave, because, Gymboree? It just loses some of its 'magic' without electricity.

On the way home, the roads were even worse, and the stoplights were all out for about a 4 block radius from the mall. People here in Oklahoma don't seem to understand that when a stoplight goes out, all you need to do is calmly treat it as though it were a stop SIGN. I saw crazies barreling through the lights without looking - almost getting sideswiped by oncoming traffic. I saw others who stopped at the stoplight, but appeared to have no intentions of moving forward again until the LIGHT CAME BACK ON. Seriously. The people who were unfortunate enough to pull up behind them (namely:me) had to backup and go AROUND them in order to proceed. I wonder if they are still sitting there, all these hours later?

At the front of my neighborhood, there is a very large and deep drainage ditch. When I pulled into the neighborhood at 11:00 this morning, the drainage ditch was raging full and starting to spill out across the road.

That was 4 hours ago- and it has been raining HARD ever since.

I wonder if my newest neighborhood feature is a rowdy, dreggy MOAT?

Mug Restrictions.

Busy weekend!

On Friday I planned a last minute surprise date night for Chris. Joel came over to watch Ezra and I took my hubby out to A MOVIE! We saw "Evan Almighty", and we both absolutely LOVED it. One of the things the movie talked about was "Acts of Random Kindness", and I couldn't help but think how amazing it was that earlier that day, I'd unknowingly placed myself in the middle of a chain of kindness of my own. (see last post) You all should see this movie. It is funny and uplifting.

On Saturday we went out to our friend's lake house again to celebrate three different birthdays. The house is about 30 minutes from where we live, and while we were driving to the house, it was pouring down rain and there was tons of lightning. (good thing I had my swimsuit and shorts on. heh.) (but at least I remembered to shave my legs this time.) We got about 4 houses away from the lake house and encountered a HUGE MASSIVE RUSHING RIVER cutting right across the road in front of us.

Our car tends to hydroplane when it hits liquid of any kind on the road. ("Watch out honey! Someone spilled a PEPSI!" SCREEECH!) Sooooo, there was NO way we were going to attempt to ford a river in the Matrix. We contemplated turning around and going home.

We called our friends who were already at the lake house and asked if anyone was brave enough (and maybe owned a hummer?) to come rescue us from the opposite side of the rapids. Our friend Amy decided she was crazy enough to try it in her Rodeo, and she gallantly charged the waters for us. She made it OK, but the way back through was quite scary and I think we almost didn't make it. But, you know, we did. That didn't stop me from telling everyone at the lake house moments later how we almost died. ALMOST! DIED!

You know how you always hear that you should never drive into water like that on the roadway? I had visions of us all being swept off to sea (well, swept off to lake) never to be seen again. But I'll be DARNED if we were going to miss out on yummy BBQ and free Sangria. If that's not worth risking your life for, I'd like to know what is.

It was totally worth it.

Then, on Sunday, Chris, Joel, and I led worship at church and then came home to BBQ the steaks that didn't get cooked at the lake house due to soggy briquettes and chance of lightning zaps. Then, I got to go thrift store shopping and found a motherload of awesomeness for my vintage site.

Oh, and did I forget to mention?



THE LAPTOP HAS RISEN AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like I've been given a second chance at life. It seems that the little bugger just needed a few days to actually drink the coffee. After a day or two of acting goofy, it is back and better than ever! WOOO WOOO!!!

We have since backed up all of our files onto Chris' iPod and OHDEARGOD we need to backup up the iPod STAT. And then backup whatever we back it up onto after that. And then... *hyperventilate*

Lord, I miss paper.

Thank you all for your very helpful suggestions and stories and letting me know that I'm not the only human ever to offer a MacBook a drink. And a special thanks to the brother-in-law Dave who called and walked us through a process that involved an Ethernet cable, an eMac, and much celebratory whooping and hollering from my sexy-beast-of-a-husband.

To prevent this from happening again, I have issued a proclamation stating that I, Emery Jo, will never again drink from a coffee mug whose bottom circumference is smaller than its top.

For example, a mug like this is no longer acceptable for Emery use:



Something like this, however, would be just fine:



With maybe a lid on top that would automatically close again after I took a sip. Anyone know where I can find a mug like that?

Coffee Has Redeemed Itself.

Today has been amazing.

It began with a routine trip to my local Starbucks drive-thru. I decided to stop for a JUMBO cup of coffee before I headed up to my friend Kerri's house for the first day of our new Co-op! (more on that in a minute.)

I was running a little bit late, and so I was frustrated when I pulled around the corner to the drive-thru and saw a line of cars in front of me. There were three cars waiting for their drinks and one minivan in front of me placing an extra long drink order. The mom in the minivan ordered 3 hot chocolates for her kids, a doughnut or two, and a venti coffee for herself. In my head I was thinking, "Ugg this is going to take SO long and now I'm going to be late!" and I was being a hugenormous poop-head in general.

It did take awhile for everyone in front of me to get their drinks, but then it was finally my turn at the window. I leaned out to hand the cashier my credit card, but instead of taking the card, he just handed me my drink and said "That won't be necessary! The woman who was in front of you has already paid for your drink."

I was in shock and disbelief.

"She did?? Whaa? Did she say why??", I stammered.

The cashier then told me that about five cars prior, someone had paid for the drink of the person behind them in line... "just because". Then, the person in that car decided to pass it on and said they'd like to pay for the drink of the person behind them as well, and so on, and so on, and so on.

I was the FIFTH person to get their drink paid for that morning. I of course was THRILLED at this amazing display of goodwill, so I told the cashier that I would absolutely love to pay for the drink of the person behind me as well.

Everyone working in the Starbucks had huge grins on their faces, and you could tell that this little procession had really made their day. I pulled away from the drive-thru with an entirely different perspective than I had pulled in with, and I couldn't help but thank God for the amazing reminder that good things really can and do happen these days.

I was so tempted to drive back through the drive-thru on my way home from Co-op (a mere 5 HOURS later) to see if the goodwill had survived that long, but I decided one trip to the 'Bucks a day was PLENTY.

I still feel giddy and blessed from that little exchange. I feel excited to pass on the favor and maybe start some more "goodwill chains" of my own across this town of mine. One tiny act can start something powerful and wonderful and could affect more people than I would ever know about!

I'm excited to have had my eyes opened again this morning. To small acts of love and kindness. And I can't WAIT to start putting what I learned into practice.

I encourage you all to try it too. Be creative. Be bold. I'd love to hear your stories and your outcomes as they unfold! Or have you had any similar experiences in your lifetime that have really shocked and amazed you?

*******************************************************

Today was the first day of our Co-op, and I'm so excited about this I could just pee........ my pants. I've been involved in a playgroup for almost a year now, where a few moms get together up at the church or at each other's houses and we just let the kids play and eat lunch while we attempt to chat and get to know each other a little better. It has been AMAZING for me to be a part of this group of women, (one of them happens to be Mrs. Oklahoma right now...how badass is that?!) and so I was crazy excited when my friend Darcy started talking about trying to organize a weekly co-op.

My brothers and I were raised in a co-op in my neighborhood growing up... a co-op that my mom helped organize and that is still going on to this day, 30 years later.

Our co-op is going to be every Friday. The moms all bring the kids to one person's house, where two moms will stay and watch them all from 9am-1pm. This was our very first week, and Kerri and I were the first teachers. We followed a schedule that Darcy came up with, and it was SO MUCH FUN!

The kids played and then did an art project (sunflower windsocks). Then it was snack time and storytime, and after that we went outside. I brought my guitar, so after they played outside for awhile, we gathered all the kids in the living room and I sang goofy kids songs and we all danced around like crazies. Then, we ate lunch, played outside some more, and it was already time to clean up!

sunflower windsocks!

The kids had a blast and as the moms came to pickup their little ones, they looked so refreshed and grateful for their time away from the kids. And now, I get to drop Ezra off every Friday for a whole month before I teach again!

The kids play so well together and there is quite a range in the ages of all the kids, so I think it will be good for Ezra to spend some time socially interacting with them all. He did great today. He even said "TREE" and "SWING" for the first time today.

I'm also still looking to get Ezra into a "Mother's Day Out" program once a week so that I can dedicate a good chunk of hours every week to growing my vintage business. I decided that this was more practical and fun for me than going out and getting a part time job somewhere. (due to cost of childcare vs. part-time pay, finding consistent scheduling, and not becoming too overwhelmed...) For now, this is the best game plan for me and my family.

So... yeah! Things are looking up!

His Computer Drinks Decaf.

The moment after I hit 'publish' on my last blog, I went to set my coffee cup down on the table. Instead of staying in the upright position, like a good coffee cup would have, it fell sideways.

Towards Chris' laptop.

Which now does not work.

At all.

Aaaand "Warranty won't cover accidents" blah blah blah blah why the heck did we spend so much money on a warranty if it only covers the company's faults?

I know it's just a computer, but I can't shake this feeling of extreme guilt. I am beating myself up. I'm weepy. I'm still hanging onto the hope that we will be able to recover what was on the laptop- family pictures, all of Chris' business records and music files... and hundreds of dollars of software that was included on the laptop for free... software that I used for my business but will probably not have access to anymore.

I am tired and sad and feeling like I could have done without the last couple of days. Ezra is playing kickball with the tattered remains of my patience, and I'm wishing I could just curl up in a ball and SLEEP for the next week... maybe two.

Now, go back-up all of your important files. They don't make coffee mugs like they used to.

Quite Alarming.

I think that Ezra was playing with Chris' alarm clock last night or something because this morning, at the ungodly hour of 6AM, the alarm went off. That would have been fine and good, but it seems that a little someone had turned the volume ALL.THE.WAY.UP.

Our room went from peaceful silence to DEF-CON 5 faster than a cheetah in a spaceship. Then, while Chris was frantically trying to find the snooze button, he clumsily knocked the candle and plate off of his nightstand- causing loud CRASHING noises amidst the screeching of the full blast alarm.

Oh how I love being ripped from my airplane dreams by noises that scream "MALFUNCTION!! WE'RE GOING DOOOWN!"

This all scared the bejeebuz out of me, and once Chris had finally found the button he was looking for, (did the button MOVE? What took so long to find it?!) all became quiet again. I waited anxiously to see if the noise had awakened Ezra. It hadn't, so I tried to fall back asleep. Falling back asleep took some time, but I was finally able to nod off after oh, say 14 minutes or so. Guess what happened again at minute 15?

And then 15 minutes after that?

And then again 15 more minutes after that?

ALARM. FULL BLAST. HEART PALPITATIONS. THOUGHTS OF SHOVING ALARM CLOCK IN TOILET.

I finally dragged myself out of bed at 6:50 because Ezra had been awakened by this point, and because all of the interval excitement was getting to be, well, a little too much for my decaffeinated nerves.

I listened from the living room as Chris continued to push the SNOOZE button every 15 minutes for the next hour and a half. With each alarm, his reaction to the abrasive noise became quicker and more fine-tuned. It got to the point where the alarm would hardly have time to finish it's very first "Screech!" before Chris had choked it off by hitting snooze with his lighting fast cat reflex.

With a little caffeine under my belt, this battle between man and alarm became quite entertaining. I made bets with myself about whether he would turn the alarm all the way off or not; whether or not he would wake up this time; whether he would be able to develop a preternatural ability and silence the alarm before it could even utter a sound...

It would have been just as easy to turn the thing off completely, or turn the volume knob down from Level 169736803 to Level 1. But neither of us did these things. We basically kept asking the clock to scare the pee out of us every quarter of an hour.

And the funny thing about all of this is that it will probably happen again tomorrow morning.

And the morning after that.

And the morning after that...

On and on until the day when Ezra decides to mess with the alarm clock again- hopefully turning the knob the other way this time- restoring peace and lower blood pressure to the household once and for all.

whodunnit?
HE DID.

Question: Are you a lover of the snooze button? Or is one alarm enough? I've personally never understood the snooze button mentality.

I'd rather just GET UP than willingly subject myself to the repeated torture of the obnoxious machine next to my pillow.

Then again, I don't even have an alarm clock anymore. Ezra is my alarm clock usually. And he didn't even come with a snooze button.

Trust me, I've looked.

Bikes & Batman.

It's been one of those mornings of mounting frustration as Ezra has been demanding to go to "duh mall" but refusing to wear pants of any kind.

Me: YOU MUST WEAR PANTS.
Ezra: Gwaaaaa! No no no oh no oh no uh oh No? No?
Me: YOU CANNOT BE PANTS-LESS AT THE MALL.
Ezra: *kicks air, and then hits himself on the head, and then flails on the ground for a few*
Me: Gwaaaaaa!

Toddlers are so reasonable, aren't they?

I began to feel quite batty and may have even slammed a door, but then my neighbor Niki saved the day by calling and inviting us on a bike ride. When I told Ezra we were going to see Niki, he INSTANTLY submitted himself to the torture of wearing pants and bolted out the front door.




I was going to make her pull me around in the baby cart too, but the last thing Ezra and I needed was to be crammed into a tight space together.

In completely unrelated news, our son has learned his first television theme song- patiently taught to him by his loving daddy:



Buh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh
Buh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh
BATMAN!!!

Spot on, No?

Blind Search.

Last night my eyes were hurting so I decided to take out my contacts, which is this crazy thing I do every three months or so.

I then had to find my glasses so that I could read my book, and this required thinking allllll the way back to the last time I'd had my glasses on, which was sometime before we moved into this house. Usually when I take my contacts out, I just go straight to bed, so my glasses are never needed, but last night I wanted to read and watch that re-run of Fraiser I've seen 8 or 9 times already, so the search began.

I started the search by looking in the little drawers in my bathroom, because that's where my glasses have always been kept in the past. I rummaged... and I rummaged... and I rummaged some more. No glasses.

I am blind as a bat, so I felt my way over into the other bathroom. Much, much more rummaging ensued.

No glasses.

Can't see.

I felt my way back to the bedroom and tried to think of all the places my glasses could have gone to. I was frustrated at this point, and completely clueless as to where my spectacles were.

After about 20 minutes of searching, I went back to the very first place I'd looked. I decided to SQUINT this time so that I could see a little clearer.

Aaand my glasses were sitting RIGHT THERE in the first drawer I looked in. In plain sight. Except I couldn't see them because, you know, I COULDN'T SEE.

This morning I woke up to a thunderstorm squatting on my roof- completely lighting up my room every 8 seconds or so with such intense lightning that it didn't seem to matter that all my blinds were drawn, and exploding with such loud thunder that the pressure of each outburst seemed to threaten to push my roof down on top of me.

I slipped my glasses on again and came out into the living room where Ezra was watching his morning cartoons and Chris had a pot of coffee brewing. Mmmm.

Ezra looked at me like a stranger and proceeded to FREAK OUT because I had my glasses on. He was pissed. He didn't want me to wear them and kept demanding that I set them up on the kitchen counter... where all things go to disappear (as far as he knows).

Then he wanted to try them on.

And my headband too.

Because, apparently, all things must be inspected and approved by him before they are allowed anywhere near mommy's face.

(Good to know.)

scary mommy face with foreign objects on it! Agg!


east siiiide!


yep. these glasses seem to pass the yelling test ok.


looks better on him. FIGURES.

Sleepy Memories.

I woke up this morning thinking about the day before Ezra was born.

Now, in true Emery fashion, I don't remember a single detail from the actual day. Oh wait... something's coming to me... I remember being at LeeAnn's house and sitting on her big inflatable ball while watching the birthing videos of her son Bray. I think it was even Jessica Cheatwood's baby shower that day-- I was wincing through contractions, but in complete denial that I was about to give birth... surrounded by beautiful pregnant ladies eating cake.

But what I woke up this morning thinking about was the fact that one day I didn't have a baby, and the very next day, I DID.



You know how our modern calendar is based on the BC/AD scale? All of human history was split and measured by the moment of Jesus' birth. B.C.= before Christ, A.D.= Anno Domini, or, 'The Year of our Lord'.

Well, my life had a splitting point too: the very moment Ezra took his first earth breath. His little lungs reacted to his new environment and they sucked in oxygen, and my whole infrastructure as a human being rearranged itself without the slightest comma.

For many months after that moment, my arms were always full of tiny yummy baby. What on earth did I do with my arms before that first breath of his? Did I fold them across my chest? Let them dangle all loosey goosey?



I remember Ezra was born in the wee hours of a Sunday morning. Visitors started coming to the hospital later in the day, and they told us how Ezra's birth had been announced at church and everyone had cheered and clapped with excitement, with joy. That was the first time it really sank in... I just gave birth to a baby. It had to be true now! It had been announced at church by golly! There was no denying it now, because OTHERS KNEW. Them knowing it meant I had to know it; had to accept that the wee hours of the morning had actually happened and weren't just a brilliant dream.

The very next Sunday, I brought witty bitty Ezra to church with me. I sat in the cramped pew near the wall, huddled down and braced against all of the eyes of wonder around me. I felt like a giant, ostentatious billboard that said MOM real big in bold black letters on it. Ezra felt like a stranger still as he made his little mouse noises and everyone sitting behind me giggled and smiled.

I don't know why I was thinking about all of this as I lay in bed this morning, but it lulled me out of sleep and brought a warm smile to my groggy face.

Life is crazy.

And life is amazing.

Gnat Cool... Gnat Cool at all.

All of your bug suggestions have been VERY MUCH appreciated and each has been carefully taken into consideration. Since we are lazy already had it lying around, Chris and I tried Piper's method of apple cider vinegar and dish soap in a glass, and we've captured about 20 gnats already! We were like Gnat Hunters last night- perched on our chairs watching the gnats take the bait and sink to their itty bitty gnat deaths. MWA HA HA HA!! Ahhh, the thrill of the hunt! We're now thinking of mounting some on the wall and bragging about who's gnat is bigger.

Also, thanks to kachina, I am going to keep my fresh fruits in the fridge for awhile because YES they do like to eat my bananas and that's putridly gross.

And yes, Shannon, we HAVE recently repotted our house plants- and that's right about when I discovered the first few gnats. How annoying is that!? We bought potting soil and had a little extra surprise thrown in the mix... little bugs that will drive you crazy and make you feel like you need a shower every 30 minutes! What a bonus!

Last night I discovered something REALLY disturbing, however, and that is the fact that there are gnats conjugating and dying like crazy right around all my floor vents. There are dozens of them by each vent- all scattered on the tile in my kitchen and my bathroom- like little bug confetti.

This brings me to two conclusions:
1. They are being poisoned by my Air Conditioning and are conveniently kicking the bucket all in the same corners of my house, OR
2. They are living and breeding in the soil UNDER MY HOUSE and then being blown in through the vents somehow.

Just thinking about all of this makes me queasy. You are all probably thinking my house is icky and gross. The next time you come over, you will all be looking at my air vents in horror and disgust. I just know it. Telling you this is almost as embarrassing as when I forget to shave my legs before a pool party.

We have LOTS of bugs and mosquitoes around this house. Ezra just so happens to be allergic to mosquito bites and swells up like crazy wherever they bite him. I'm not quite sure what to do about this, because I've tried different bug sprays and none of them seem to work. AT ALL.

The other day we tried to play in the sprinklers because it was 90 degrees outside. I thought he would be fine with some bug spray and I was sure that the mosquitoes wouldn't be out anyways because it was so hot and the middle of the day...

I was wrong. Poor swollen little guy.




Anywho- I will keep you updated as we find out more.

Lastly, I am QUITE relieved to know that I'm not the only one who's been electrocuted by their local grocery store. Gnat cool. Gnat cool at ALL.

A Shocking Post.

Dearest Y'all,

Couple of things.

First off, I am NEVER (EVER EVER) wearing flip flops to a grocery store ever again.

I had some shopping to do this morning, and after wrangling Ezra's legs into the little holes in the basket seat, we set off for a lightning quick shopping run. About halfway through the list, after locating the marinated artichoke heart jars (which took me about 3 years to finally stumble upon), I grabbed the cart handle and started to push. That is when the ELECTRIC SHOCK TORTURE portion of my shopping trip began. Every time I touched the handle, I got a nasty shock. If I tried to hold on to the handle, I received a succession of shocks that jumped up and bit me every time I took a step.

I had heard my mom speak of this happening so badly that she couldn't open the large wall refrigerator door to get her milk because the shocks were just that strong and painful. She said it happened to her whenever she wore flip flops in a grocery store.

If only I'd listened to my mother.

After a few isles of involuntary electro-shock therapy, I was reduced to pushing my cart a few steps with one finger, then switching to the other finger for the next few steps. Then, I thought if I picked up my feet more instead of shuffling along like I usually do, it might help the situation as well. I may have over-exaggerated a bit and been walking like a flamingo, all awkward and gangly-like, as if I were stepping over a beach ball every time I lifted my foot off the ground. Now, add to all of this the fact that I was quietly saying "Ow. Ow. Ow." under my breath and shaking out my hands every second or two. Can you imagine walking by someone doing this in the grocery store and not dying of laughter?

I knew I looked ridiculous, but I did not care. I chose embarrassment over affliction. I chose respite over dignity. Can you blame me? I was getting TAZED to death by my lipstick red Target shopping cart! And nobody could save me!

To make matters EVEN WORSE, Ezra thought this was all quite silly as well, and started mimicking me by shouting "OW! OW! OWIE! OWIE!" as I clumsily pushed him along in the cart. Just what I needed-- more reasons for the entire store to stop and stare as I walked by. I was laughing hysterically and practically in tears by the time I finally reached the checkout line, because it was all so incredibly funny and... well, PAINFUL.

Have any of you ever experienced this? Or is it just a genetic default that my mother and I share while wearing flip flops into grocery stores?


Second thing:
My house is full of those tiny little gnat bugs that buzz around your eyes all day long. They are slowly driving me to the brink of insanity and rapidly multiplying in number. I must at least look like a crazy person with my random twitching, swatting, and clapping in attempts to singlehandedly kill them all one-by-frickin-one. Anyone know of a (more effective) way to make them go away?

Kindest Regards,
The Human Bug Zapper.


already displaying an imppecable taste in footwear.

A MoMar and DooDad Shaped Hole in our Hearts.

Momar and Doodad have come and gone after their short visit this weekend. It was so amazing to have them here... to experience for a precious armful of hours what many families daily take for granted: time together. A time to be around people who love your kid as much as you do and who feel that the hours spent watching him twirl in the living room aren't wasted, but in fact the opposite- they are some of the most well spent hours they've known.

After we dropped them off at the airport, Ezra spent the afternoon softly pointing to the sky, mumbling something I couldn't understand over and over and over again. He knew that momar and doodad were on a plane, and when we got back home, he wouldn't come inside until he'd seen a plane fly over the house. When one finally did, he said "Doo dah! Doo dah!" and the took my hand and led me back inside.

I feel like I've said this a million times and in a million different ways... We miss our family. For selfish reasons. We don't want to miss out on their lives. We want the security of feeling our saftey net a little closer- close enough to leap into if need be, rather than a 1600 mile kamakaze drop. We want date nights. We want Ezra to know that mom and dad aren't the only people on the earth who love him to pieces.. whose love could grind up a boulder into fine sand for his little toes to wiggle through on a hot day.

We had fun. Here are some pictures:

cute hubby on Uncle Joel's new Vespa

concerned onlookers.

ezra ridin' dirty. (aka pants-less)

behind the waterfall @ the botanical gardens.

crazy alien plant.

chasing dad through the park.

strollin' in the hot, hot heat.

pretty city.

turtle watching.

downtown.

hanging out at home.

sprinkler attack!

momar and ezzie.

I hope your weekend was wonderful, too... full of gumdrops and fuzzy slippers.

Less whine, more WINE.

Ezra just went down for his nap and I've just had a glass of wine. It was a very PRACTICAL glass of wine, I'll have you know... I just went to the grocery store and so I had to clear out some room in the fridge. The wine bottle was all big and bulky-like, so I thoughts to myself, "Hey, self! Drink the remnants and then (ta-da!) more space!" I have not eaten lunch yet, however, so the wine went straight to my gray matter and the keyboard looks a little... off. A little tilted or smudgey.

Anywhooooooooooooo I had an extremely realistic tornado dream last night that was so vivid, it could have been in HDTV. We ducked, we covered, we tried to break into our friend Charlie's house to throw ourselves down into his basement. In the end, we found shelter near some ATM's and hung onto the railing as the tornado hit us directly and I watched peacefully as Chris clung to a semi-floating Ezra and kept telling him that everything was fine- he was fine and daddy was OK. After the tornado went over us, I felt a huge adrenaline rush, but then I realized some of the people who had taken shelter next to us were... gone. Or injured. The dream was so real that I woke up at 6:30 AM in a cold sweat and couldn't fall back asleep.

I can't stop thinking about what life must have been like in the 'old days' around here... before all the fancy tornado sirens and the detailed meteorological information that they are able to broadcast to anyone with a radio and two opposing thumbs. It must have been this constant fear or dread that a tornado could wipe you out at any time and you would have no way of defending yourself against it. Or maybe it was somehow less fearful because people weren't so over saturated with the possible possibility of one (possibly?) forming every time the clouds became somewhat dark... I get the feeling that the meteorologists out here are more often covering their butts than making credible weather predictions. *sigh*

Ezra has been a complete angel today, and we actually had fun while grocery shopping together this morning. We played a game where I would have him guess which items were for "Mama", and which items were for "Dada". He was correct on the potato chips and the diet coke. (Dada) He was not so correct on the ice cream and maxi pads... Apparently, he thinks ALL THINGS are 'dada things', except for maybe the milk, which he kept calling "joo joo?" (juice.) It is so fun to hear him picking up on words finally (THANK YOU JESUS). He has also started saying 'chair' which sounds more like "cheywoo?".

"Mama cheywoo? Hewp meee!"

TRANSLATION: Is this your chair, mother? Can you be a doll and help me move it over there please? Thank you!

I got some video of Ezra playing with the computer today... it seems he thinks this is what I look like when I blog- the constant shaking of my head in disbelief and the random slamming of the keyboard that creates these nonsense run-on sentences for your viewing pleasure.

Wait... where did I put my camera? Maybe I left it in the living room? OH hold on. There it is right in front of me... RIGHT BY MY EMPTY GLASS. heh.




And, also, this is another face I often make while attempting to write for you all:

"Dur?"